the other day i walked in to my sons room to find that he was masturbating, unlike most of the time, i just told him to stop, should i take back that small phrase and ground him and not let him do anything for the next month. should i talk to him and say this is normal, keep at it! or, talk with him and tell him to stop? is this actually normal in life? i did masturbate for some time, but decided to stop do to rumors. but this is a sticky situation which i have no answer to. please help!
2006-10-21 17:29:08 · 22 answers · asked by g-rald 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just leave him alone. He's going to do it no matter what you say. Talking about it is going to be embarrassing for both of you.
Just pretend that it didn't happen. All parents know their kids do it, they just try to ignore it.
2006-10-21 17:32:45 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being open about sex, masturbation and all that is always hard especially if parents have no communication with regards to this part .,I as a parent would suggest that you talk to him about this and tell him that this ia a normal thing specially if they are in their teens. By grounding him and by not letting him do anything for the next month won't make him stop, this time you know it because you caught him , how about the times that you don't??? you are not going to be with him 24/7 just to make sure he does not do it, am i right?? so by doing that it won't do anything to make him stop. This is a human instinct that no one can stop, if a person feels it and he need to release it, he will. and it is better for an individual to be able to release this urge Through masturbation and that is normal, there is nothing so bad with this not unless he is masturbating outside your home and people are watching or if he is his being an exhibitionist, but he his doing it in his own privacy and it so happen you just caught him. But please don't make him think that this is bad, because that what happens in psychology when they parents make their children think that this is bad the become gay...hey that is normal and times change.. throw that old school myth...
2006-10-22 00:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by pinky c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babe, it's normal!!! It's important that your son be totally free to take care of himself when he's in a private space (bathroom maybe?) You may need to knock and give him a minute to, you know.. wrap things up.
Masturbation is natural for men and women. To suppress his ability to release his sexual tension will definitely mess him up in the long run. Giving him the freedom to do so and making him feel that what he's doing is healthy and okay is giving him a gift as a parent. It may be uncomfortable, but I think that it's a very important part of doing your job as his parent.
And if I'm reading right, and you don 't masturbate....well, um...can I suggest that you try it again some time? It really is a healthy part of being a person. I didn't know it existed until I was 19 and a boy I was dating brought over his mother's (am I really telling you this?!) vibrator, and I haven't stopped since (and yes, I kept his mother's vibrator for almost 20 years and three re-wirings, lol..) It's not nasty, or sick, or gross. It's personal and private and can be very relaxing and pleasurable.
with no intention of offending anyone....I send best wishes to you and your son.
2006-10-22 01:10:46 · answer #3 · answered by Jemmalassosthemoon 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like it might be a catch-22 type of situation. If you punish him or tell him to stop, that could just prompt him to do it more often in more private of a place or something similar. It is almost human nature to crave to do those things we are told not to when the reason seems to be "just because I said so". It's like the restriction makes you want it more. But if you tell him it's normal (just like everyone else says that it is) he'll think it's OK to do it whenever, where ever without much discretion. And he's still young and liable to make some bad decisions about discretion sooner or later. And you thought you had enough embarrassment in regards to masturbation in your own life!
My suggestion is to discuss it and air the fact that you caught him. Let him know that every-ones sexual life is their own personal business and for that reason, he should either be more discrete or refrain from doing it at all. If he's old enough to masturbate, he should be old enough to make a decision between discretion or abstinence.
2006-10-22 00:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by Chiky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WTF? What rumors? Did your parents tell you you'd go blind or some nonsense? That's ridiculous. Masturbation is a COMPLETELY normal and natural thing. Hell, humans aren't even the only animals that do it. He shouldn't be punished for it, anymore than you would punish him for sneezing. (You might want to tell him to lock his door next time. Or you might want to knock first.)
Talk to him about how it's okay for him to become a more physical (read:sexual) person. It may be that you're uncomfortable crossing that particular barrier - it happens with parents a lot more than you'd think. But consider this : would you rather him learn the ins and outs of sex from something dirty on the internet or from his friends, or would you rather he get all the facts and not feel pressured or scared by talking with someone he knows and trusts in an open, caring environment?
2006-10-22 00:35:24 · answer #5 · answered by supensa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its very normal for men and women alike. Do not make him feel ashamed or that he is doing something wrong you WILL hurt him if you do that. Explain the importance of locking the door, using caution when engaging etc. Go to your local planned parenthood office or website get some pamphlets on sex etc and talk to him you won't believe the impact of a conversation should he not want to converse give him the pamphlets at least on safe sex if nothing else educate your son!
2006-10-22 00:36:39 · answer #6 · answered by So Happy!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Masturbation is very natural. You know how people always say you shouldn't keep your feelings pent up inside of you and should vent every once in a while? This is like that but it feels a lot better. Just let him be.
2006-10-22 00:32:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. There's a plethora of material dealing with issues like this for parents. Spend a little time at the library, and then talk to your son about his actions -- and what is appropriate behavior where and when.
2006-10-22 00:31:20 · answer #8 · answered by question_ahoy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a nanny and the child I watch masterbates often. I' ve seen her several times. I just say that it is something to be done in private and please wash your hands before touching anything. If she were older (she is 4) I'd tell her that while it is natural, it is to be done descretely, like when home alone or locked in the bathroom. It is not to be discussed or done with others, but it is only natural to be curious about one's body and want to explore. Good luck.
2006-10-22 00:33:01 · answer #9 · answered by danac210 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that masturbation is normal, but that he should be a bit more prudent in how and when he does it
2006-10-22 00:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋