How to help a friend who cuts without hving her go through therapy?

Question

My friend cuts. She hasn't in a while, but she does every once in a while. It is mostly because of moving and not finding many other friends.{She told me I'm her only frined who is a girl.} hwo can I orally support her without having her see a shrink? I know she wouldn't do that.... She would rather die than do that. I know she won't for a fact. Please, only serious answers.

I can't have her go to therapy. This whole thing is a lot more complicated than you know. She suffers many of the same things I do. I moved, and I don't have hardly any friends here either. I don't know how to tell her that this doesn't help her, that I am going through these same things. I don't cut, so I really don't understand why this 'helps' her, as she probably believes. I have tried being positive around her, letting her talk to me without me talking or judging, and being with her every second possible. She mostly cuts becasue her parents and her are always fighting. She really needs help, but NO THERAPY. She wouldn't do it. I want to encourage her to quit myself.

No, the tapes and touchy-feely junk won't work wither. She is more a a rough girl- shops at Hollister, watches Degrassi, and listens to rock and rap.

Answer 1

A person who cuts themselves will never get better without a great deal of intense therapy. As a friend the responsible thing to do would be to let someone know who would be able to help her find the assistance. A guidance counsellor or her parent. Cutting is caused by deep seated emotional trauma and pain and takes a long time to work out of a persons psyche.

Answer 2

First of all, I used to be a cutter myself. Now I work with people with mental disorders and with recovering alcoholics and drug abusers.
I cut myself because it helped with the pain and frustration that I was feeling inside at the time. You can't really understand why a person cuts themselves unless you've done it yourself or if you have read about the subject of self mutilation. I don't cut myself anymore, and I never seen a 'shrink'. I was going thru a bad time in my life at the time and eventually it passed, like all things. I am not saying that this will be true for your friend. Your a great friend for being there for her. Encourage her to take 'baby steps' into getting help. There are hotlines that she can call, and everything is confidential. Remember that 9 times out of 10, cutters don't cut to kill themselves, its just a way of making themselves feel better.

Answer 3

Your friend needs help other than you can give. She needs Professional help. You really have the answer yourself.
1. She won't see a shrink" Suggest a social worker at school.
2. She would rather die than seek help. Sounds like a cry for help.
3. Depression can be very painful, the medication that they have for depression works so well. There is no over the counter medication for the kind of help she needs.
4. You are a wonderful friend to this girl, stand by her side, and encourage that she get some help. I have gone through depression and I am so grateful I had a friend like you.
5. Just by asking these questions it shows what a wonderful and caring person you are. Talking to a specialist is really not bad, they help find why we feel the way we do.

You are special. Your friend is too.

Answer 4

If you dont want to send her to a therapist, I always say, try to be "like" her therapist. I do this with friends. Get all the informatoin you can on self-injury and try to be supportive of your friend wheneve ryou can.
Often cutters receive the diagnosis of borderline presonality disorder, which comes from abuse, sexual, physical or sometimes only mental if severe enough. They are afraid of rejection more than anything. If your doesnt have many friends, no wonder she's so nervous. Repressed anger and anxiety can lead to neurotic behavior ( have you noticed anything )?
Sometimes a person can get locked into this neurotic behavior pattern, and has to cut , or self injure in some way in order to "wake themself up" from the "trance".
My personal experience is that I have OCD caused by repressed anger and anxiety, it expresses itself in this compulsory neurotic behavior. Which is so strong, it pulls me into a place where I cannot remember what it's like to have normal thoughts. Sometimes ( I feel in the moment ) the only way to get out is to self - injure. Thats why I do it.
What would help? - Just being supportive, give this person "unconditional positive regard" - support them unconditionally and do not judge. Just be a complete friend.

Answer 5

i had issues with self harm specifically burning my self with cigarettes and such. i did not want to deal with shrinks and such ,really didn't want to be judged .
but a friend told my P.O (yes probation officer ) that i was doing this and my choices were cut and dry counseling on the out side or no counseling in prison .
the fact is the counselor was of Little help but the group i was refered to really helped allot ,talking to others who either were in my position or had ben in that position .
I was upset with this friend at first , but he did what friends do ,they look out for each other
you have two choices either stand back and say "i can't" or you can look out for your friend ,help her get the help she needs

Answer 6

There are many cd's and dvd's available today with healing music and intonations. This allows people to heal themselves without the judgement of others. Go to the library, internet, or bookstore and look through the audio section for alpha and theta levels of healing. It is not expensive and you can do this together. External acts of sacrifice are ancient and can be located through self hypnosis and focused breathing combined with a clear picture of the chakra system in balance. Know you are loved by loving yourself first and all else will follow. Life is eternal and much research is available now on how to contact your higher self to assist your destiny path:)

Answer 7

sounds like this girl DOES need some help..my neice used to do that...she'll be 19 soon though...we sat down and talked one night,and i asked her why?she said ,it made her feel better.people who do stuff like that ,are usually cryin out for attention deep inside,and just don't want to admit it...if you were a true friend,talk with her seriously about talkin to a counseler or something,and let her know that you would go with her ,if that's what it takes...friends are supposed to be there for each other,especially when it get's serious,like this..would ya rather have her as a friend,or see her end up on the side of the street or somewhere,dead,from cuttin too deep..all it takes is one time....you loose too much blood,and it's bye bye ,check out time...be a real friend...get her into some counseling,maybe even at your school....but,you asked...i just gave ya my honest opinion.... good luck..to both of ya... :)

Answer 8

I will tell you this... she going to need help and she going to have to look at this way.. life is not a blow of Cherry's things are going to get hard so why do this. there is no point in cutting ..when she gets a boyfriend and he going to see them scars he going to want to know what is going on and then when he finds out he not going to have anything to do with her coz she have this problems and guys don't want someone with baggies IF SHE DONT STOP SHE MORE LIKELY GOING TO KILL HERSELF!!!!!

Answer 9

well i use to be a friend that cuts...my friend helped me soo much by being there for me at all times...i just needed to be around ppl a lot not have time to think...once i started thinking id start crying n then cut myself or at least try to until ppl would catch me.. being suicidal is hard to deal with...they just want attention more often an easier life..help her/him by being there showing that you care:)

Answer 10

You have to fi nd a way to get her in. Why is she so opposed to it? You may want to break down the pros and cons of why she doesnt want to go. If you see her cutting herself, you need to call 911 because she needs help. there are also hotlines mental health specific that can help.But she REALLY REALLY needs to see someone.