Wedding ceremony, which is better?

Question

My fiance and I are planning on getting married next year. We have 2 children together already. The thing is, he wants an actual ceremony (preacher, in a church, surrounded by family, reception afterwards), and I don't care if we go the the Justice of Peace, I just want to get married...lol. What are your thoughts on the better way to do it? I don't want to fork out a lot of money seeing as how we have 2 children the money can be spent on. Any thoughts?

neither of us have been married before, so we don't exactly know which type of wedding is more memorable.

Answer 1

Try compromising have a nice small church wedding and as a reception something small and family oriented like a back yard BBQ. You don't have to spend a fortune to have something nice. Just keep it simple. Your local walmart has all kinds of things for wedding in their craft section even invitations that you can customize and print on your home pc. They also have the thank you notes, keepsake items, cake toppers etc. Get both families involved with helping on decorations/flowers etc...that will help save money and bring the families closer together. Either that or tell your husband that if he wants something more fancy he can have it but give yourselves a budget and stick to it. Cut corners by doing your own center pieces, buy your gown second hand or if you know someone who sews you can get dress patterns and materials for less than $100, instead of hiring a photographer you could always sit one camera on each table and let the family take pics. Good Luck with whatever you decide, and just remember you are already committed to one another don't let the small details cause conflict.

Answer 2

Whether you go to the JP or have a traditional church wedding, in the end, you will be married......which seems to be what you want. :) But what about the memories to share with each other & your children?
Since your fiance would like have a wedding & money is an issue (isn't it with everyone) you could have a small wedding and then have a big bash to celebrate it. There are all types of receptions that are much more affordable than a sit-down dinner. And you could always recruit friends & family to help.
The best thing to do is to sit down & discuss what is the most important parts of this he just can't live without. That's a good jumping off place.
Good luck.

Answer 3

If you are planning on getting married and have 2 children and it seem like money is an issue since you do not want to spend too much on the wedding and instead spend it to the kids , yes that is a point to consider, BUT.. remember you only get married once and even if you have 2 kids you can use these kids for the flower or the ring in your entorouge. Now to make things more fair why not postpone the marriage instead of next year to the year after so you can have more time to save up for the wedding.. I guess the mother of youe kids is not asking you for a million dollar wedding but she wants to feel like a real woman, with all the frills with it, give her the chance to feel that way but on a budgetted scheme in that way everyone gets the piece of happiness they all deserve.... besides this is the woman you LOVE< why not give her what will make her happy... think about it it will be a second honeymoon and it will be worth the wait....Keep the fire burning...keep the love alive...

Answer 4

Since you already have two kids together, it kind of trashes the idea of a traditonal wedding. Before you get married, you sure better discuss the idea of religion, and what part it will play in your lives. For example, my husband and I are religious, and wanted to raise a family after we were married in a religious home with certain values. Because of this, we of course were married in our church. We wouldn't have considered a civil wedding as special, or blessed.
So that's what you and your guy have to talk about. You should be having a small wedding, anyway, because of your circumstances, but the type of ceremony depends on the type of values you have, not just what memories might be later.
The money isn't the issue here - you can budget for any kind of wedding.

Answer 5

I don't think either is "better" as such, it really depends on what you want from your big day. Are you religious? Is there a real pressing need for him to marry in church, or is it just because that's the tradition? I have had both types of wedding, the whole church thing is impressive, and if you are religious then I am sure there is some sort of feeling that you are in the presence of God (I didn't get that myself) and the registry office wedding is very quick, in and out in ten minutes flat. Have another talk about things and see if you can compromise, which is what marriage is all about in the end.

Answer 6

I understand where your coming from, because I also think of a lot of places money could be spent rather then a grandiose wedding. I'm kinda surprised because usually its the woman that wants the wedding dress and all. Maybe you can meet in the middle on this one and agree to keep it very modest.
Our daughter had a church wedding, bought a gorgeous wedding dress at JC Penny on sale and it looked as good as dresses I have seen that thousands of dollars have been spent on. They got married in May and raided everyone's yards that had lilac's in bloom. So flower's cost them nothing. A good friend with a camera took all the picture's and they looked professional. Another friend made the wedding cake. She picked out plain black and white sheath dresses for the bridesmaid that were less then $100 and could be worn to most anything after the wedding. Kept the guest list to very close friends and family.
Expenses were very modest in the end and it was a gorgeous wedding.

Answer 7

Talk to your fiance and see if you can meet in the middle. Have a small wedding with family and close friends only. Nobody says you have to have 500 people at your wedding. I only had 40 at mine. Friends of mine got married (it was 2nd marriage for both) at a state park. A friend is an ordained minister, so he married them. They rented a pavilion for the food (everybody brought a covered dish and the bride and groom provided the main course). Since it was in a park, everybody brought lawn chairs or sat in the grass! It was very casual with the groom and usher wearing Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts and the bride and bridesmaids wearing rompers! Yours can be more formal, with you wearing a dress and your fiance wearing a suit, but you get the idea. Are your children in the wedding? If they are old enough you might consider having them have a role in the wedding. It will make them feel very special.

Answer 8

If it's important for him to do it in a church, why not go that route? It doesn't seem to matter to you.

Just because you invite family and have it in a church doesn't mean it becomes horribly expensive. There are smart ways to be polite hosts and yet be frugal.

Invitations can be handwritten on any nice set of stationery you have available (do not print out on computer-- your personal handwriting is what makes it appropriate etiquette). You can buy a bridesmaid's gown in white or ivory as your wedding gown-- that already saves hundreds. Also, if your wedding and reception are scheduled for a non-meal time of day, you can have a non-meal reception, like just cake and punch, or just cocoa and cookies, or just a cheese and fruit tray. That saves a great deal of money as well.

Make sure you get great photos though, even if you use a friend instead of a professional photographer (pricey!). Photos are important.

Answer 9

A church wedding will be more memorable. There are ways to make it more affordable. I planned a wedding with a man and between the two of us we had 4 kids. The cost was only about $2,000. Things didn't work out. Thank God I found out before the wedding!

Answer 10

Guaranteed that going to a JP isn't going to be memorable. Since it is both of your first wedding, why not go with a small ceremony with a reception after? Just have family and friends at the wedding and have a reception after that...it can be bigger or it can be just dinner for those that went to the wedding. Compromise...it is your first marriage and hopefully your last, so make it memorable!