Are you upfront and honest with your kids…?

Question

I was just wondering how many parents are honest with their kids and how many people sugar coat things? Do your kids know about the war in Iraq? Do your kids know about the situation of the world? Why or why not? To what degree do they know about them? Do you feel it’s important for them to understand what the “real world” is like--or do you feel the need to preserve their innocence?

I do not need advice as to how to explain things to my children. I was just wondering how other parents explain the current issues in the world today with their kids.

I was just curious and was wondering how other parents deal. My husband has gone to Iraq so--maybe I do make a big deal out of the world's issues with my kids. Why shouldn't I?

Answer 1

I am up front and honest with them, although not brutally so. My husband is a funeral director, so they know all about death. My 7 year old son is really into playing army, and I told him all about Iraq. A guy I went to school with was killed there, and I told him about that and how his little girls won't have their dad around anymore. My sis-in-law's boyfriend is headed to Iraq, and he sat down with my son and told him what he would be doing there. My kids know the real terms for their genitals, not the silly words. I want them to be kids, but I'd rather them learn things from me and not some older know it all kid that doesn't have the facts straight. I don't just volunteer everything. My kids ask a lot of questions, as I'm sure most do. I just answer them straightforward, and they know that they can come to me with any questions.
I'm interested to know what others say about this topic too.

Answer 2

My kids are still a little too oyung to know about things such as the war, but sure they understand that their father and I think it's a war without a cause, even if they don't know the meaning. My 2 1/2 year old has been told not to walk away from me in a store because another mommy or daddy will take her and be very bad to her. I can't really go into much more detail than that because she won't understand it yet. When she is old enough to understand, she will know the truth and not a bunch of sugarcoated lies.

Answer 3

I think it's different when your husband is in the war. But for me, I admit to sheltering mine (ages 3, 5, 7) as much as possible from the real world. They didnt' even know what "divorce" was until a couple weeks ago, they learned the word from a video and now I'm afraid every time daddy and I disagree, that they will lie awake at night worrying. Life gets scary soon enough without putting the worries of adulthood on them any sooner than necessary. I do have fire drills and discuss basic safety things wtih them like not talking to strangers, of course.

Answer 4

I am as honest as I can be with my two sons, I don't get into details that they wouldn't really understand. My kids are 8 and 3, and my husband will be going over to Iraq sometime after Christmas, my oldest is worried about him but I had to tell him, to me it's better to let him know sooner then later. I will also pray that God keeps you husband safe in this war. Be strong!

Answer 5

I think honesty is a crucial ingrediant when parenting a child. I fight my instincts to sugar-coat things... but I don't go into details any further than my child asks either. Recently, I had to teach my daughter about death. Instead of using any euphemisms such as, "passed away" or "went to sleep for a long time", I said "died". Honesty is crucial, but I think one must know their child well enough to know how far to go. For instance, my daughter is not creeped out or scared of things... she's jsut extremely curious and inquisitive. My son on the other hand, cannot handle as much info as she can.

Answer 6

Yes they all know.

I always tell them the truth...I have never taught them to believe in the fairy tales or fake holiday people such as santa claus.

Explaining th war..pretty simple...Two people disagree and it has been raised to the point where they are physically battling each other and both sides are trying to bring pease as they know what peace is..since it means differenet things to different people.

You'll find that the majority of the time..kids will simply say...OH and then carry on their day.

I think you are making too big of a deal of it if you asked me.

Answer 7

Mine are only 7 so I don't think they need to know how evil the world is just yet. If they happen to see the news (rarely) and ask something I answer honestly and to the best of my knowledge but no more than they ask. There is plenty of time for them to relise how much the world can suck.
We know no one in the war so i don't have to prepare them for any possible losses

Answer 8

well yes i am up front with my child as long as she ask the question i will tell her nothing but the truth to me if you sugar coat everything then when they get old enough there going to look at the world and be like what the hell. but that's is just my opinion

Answer 9

the only thing i sugar coat over right now is thier godfather's cancer. the reason i sugar coat that is becasue i refuse to beleive it will kill him. his family has had a lot of cancer and no one has died from it. but...if they ask a question i do answer it. and let me tell you, it is hard to explain racism or child rape to a 6 year old. but i manage. i firmly beleive that you have to be honest with your children when they are little so that they trust you to tell them the truth when they are older and it really matters.

Answer 10

I am very honest with my daughter and I always have been. I could not even go along with the lie of Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I try to explain things to her in terms that she will understand without any "sugarcoating". I believe that with girls especially, too much fantasy and fairytale thinking causes alot of damage and difficulty in adulthood. When she asks, I give it to her straight.