Been getting along really well for the past few weeks with this Italian hunk and headed to a possible relationship. Then last night he asked why I haven't been with someone for so long and I told him I couldn't say as it was quite personal but he managed to get it outta me. I told him I still loved my ex but I couldn't be with the ex since he's married with a baby. And now he's told me we can't be together. He told me he felt jealous...... I told him I wanted to give this relationship a go but he just backed right out without even trying. I don't know if I did the right thing. I'm miserable!!!
2006-10-21 15:44:49 · 25 answers · asked by brown_sugah064 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lie next time - it really is NOT his business. It is natural to feel this way about your ex until you get involved with someone else. Especially if you did not persue your divorse/or break-up. Hopefully you will find someone that you love alot more than your ex and he will be completely forgotten in no time once you start dating again.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket right now. Keep your options open. Next time someone asks you why you have been alone for a long time - tell them you've been busy with work or busy with family business. Tell them you just haven't even been looking and you have so much going on in your life - you just got too busy. That will shut them up. Don't tell them "It's too personal" then they will think the worst. Like you couldn't date cuz you had a bad rash or something worse. lol.
After my divorse I went thru what you are going thru - I read a great book - you should read it if you haven't yet. It will teach you how to re-enter the dating world and how to deal with specific situations like this one. Don't be put off by the title though - the book mixes humor with great advice. "Why men love Bitches". I think it will help you alot. Best wishes - hope you feel better soon.
2006-10-21 15:56:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get over it. The guy you like is married and has a kid? Let him go and leave it be. A word of advice too, men don't want to know about a torch you are still carrying for some other guy... what a huge turn off. You need to get your head right and get to a place where you can start a new relationship and focus on the new person that you have met. If you have been through a long dry spell don't even share that with a man... if you find yourself ready to be with someone, just be with them. Edit your life story to things that are his business. Buck up and good luck!
2006-10-21 15:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men... I know it sucks. I like when everything is going fine, you finally feel as though you can get personal and he backs out right off the bat. Give him time. Call him, get together and talk, all he needs is a little consideration. He just needs to know he has a chance of your love and it's not all gone. What if he told you he was still in love with his ex and just needed to move on b/c there is no chance with her. How does that make you feel?
2006-10-21 15:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you did the right thing!! Its always best to be honest throughout a relatinoship, ESPECIALLY in the beginning.. why base a relationship on lies?? but if the guy runs away the quickly, then hes not worth it.. it seems to me that hes feeling insecure, and the fact that you havent gotten over your ex makes him feel even more insecure, so forget about him. find someone else who is willing to give you a chance.. its hard getting over someone you really loved, and you cant expect it to go away at the drop of a hat, those things take time, and sometimes it could also mean that having someone else can make you forget faster
2006-10-21 15:49:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like to point fingers or anything. But maybe you should have said it had something to do with the ex. Not say you still loved him. Because the new guy, would feel he would never be good enough for you if you love someone else already. So you pretty much sabotaged a really good relationship.
2006-10-21 15:52:04 · answer #5 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well actually, you shouldn't have told him that you were still hung up on another guy because really, you can't really give another guy a real chance when you are into someone else. Get over him before you try to move on. That's not fair to the other guys you choose to date. Personally, I think the Italian made the right decision.
2006-10-21 15:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing it seems to me that he doesn't want to except honesty that is the best way to start off arelationship if he is jealous because you are being honest than that's not the type of man a real man would have said that he apprciates you being honest he wouldn't have just backed out of a relationship
2006-10-21 15:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by csmndaj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear it. But if he's not willing to even try, and he's gotten jealous that quickly ~ then you're probably better off. Girls like guys who fight for them, and would at least try to stand by their side no matter what happens or has happened in the past.
but as for telling him something that intimate about urself, could have been a mistake. Well in my opinion it was, because it wasn't something he needed to know in that early phase of the relationship. Hope you can find better days ahead.
2006-10-21 15:49:05 · answer #8 · answered by mark p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..the fact you still have this "flame" for an ex is an issue you have to get past. The guy felt somewhat slighted as you still hold this guy in such esteem even though he's married. Perhaps the guy doesn't want to be compared to your ex over and over and maybe you can try again...but you have to get past the ex
2006-10-21 15:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by bald_guy69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did do the right thing by telling the truth. You need to take some more time to get over your feelings for your ex before you start to date again.
2006-10-21 15:47:55 · answer #10 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋