Good father. OK mom. We get along. We can talk most things out. I believe I can offer our daughter a better life. Still want her to see her mom.
2006-10-21 15:28:08 · 13 answers · asked by wmarnhout 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I don't know how old your daughter is, or how long you've been split. It isn't clear if you live near your daughter's Mom or not. Also I don't know if you have an existing court order.
That said - I can tell you this: If you go to court - do NOT say anything negative about your daughter's Mom. All you should do is let them know what you can do for your daughter and why it's important for her to be with you. If you search around on the internet - you can find sample court orders. Type one up showing the parenting time you want and give it to your lawyer. From there - your ex can say yes or no to everything you want.
My boyfriend went through this - and his daughter went to her Mom who moved away. But after a couple of years, the Mom moved back and now his daughter lives with us during the week and does three weekends a month and holidays with Mom.
The VERY MOST IMPORTANT thing is that the two parents get along. So if fighting to have her is going to 'cause an upset between the parents, it isn't worth it. If you truly want what's best for your kid - don't upset things.
2006-10-21 19:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too hard to speak in generalizations-- each jurisdiction is different. Most family codes say there is no preference based on gender-- whatever. Generally speaking, in most courts, a tie goes to mom.
If mom has been primary for any length of time it would be hard to reverse without some malfeasance-- something to show she's bad. OR... if your child is old enough-- depends on the state-- usualy 12-ish-- the child's preference is considered by the court as a factor (not the only factor).
Beware-- most courts will view a motion to modify simply as a ploy to avoid child support unless there's something substantial to base the motion on.
"But Judge-- I think I'm better" is NOT a good argument.
Good luck.
2006-10-21 15:39:04 · answer #2 · answered by RR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her mom is capable of doing a good job of raising her, then you should probably leave her with her mother at least until the child is older. I just believe that little girls especially need their mothers more that they need their fathers earlier in life. They need them both almost equally, but if that can't happen you should do the best you can to try and be there for her as much as possible without taking her from her mother.
2006-10-21 16:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by HazelEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best for the child is to stay in one home with her Mother and have her Mother go to the Dad's place every 2nd weekend, some holidays and vacations
if you can work that out or any form of shared custody is is the best for the child
2006-10-21 15:37:57 · answer #4 · answered by nora7142@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You go to court and tell them. They will order a court appointed lawyer to review the case. If they feel she is in any dangers or is better off with you for significant reasons they may give her to you.
I will be honest though. If she is not being harmed they are most likely not going to take her from mom if thats where she has been living.
2006-10-21 15:31:40 · answer #5 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you SURE you are the better parent for her??
firstly disguss it with the mom - in friendly terms.. who has more time for the child?? a child raised in day care will not have as good of a life as a child with 2 parents (1 working 1 at home) so if you are both single.. both working.. and she is in day care then the truth is she is better off without either of you...
now that may suck but also a kid is better off NOT being fought over....I probably spelt fought wrong but you know what I mean...
a child is better off in a stable home so work out the best arrangement you can without fighting... that is whats best for the child
2006-10-21 16:03:54 · answer #6 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eek...this is a touchy one.... I am a woman raised by my father....I love him dearly, but a girl needs her mom. If you doubt that read the book, "Letters from motherless daughters" it is about what happens to women who are raised by their fathers....nothing really negative, just about the way they feel about it and the things they miss out on....When you are a woman being raised by your dad there are a lot of things he cannot answer for you, ecspecially about your body....and you grow up not really knowing how to wear make-up or how to dress, because that is something your dad cannot teach you. Girls love their dads, but they need their moms. Think hard about this, and see if there is a way for you to do some kind of equal sharing. Also, a step-mom is not the same....little girls often see them as competition, not as nurturing and wonderful. This is just my experience....irony of ironies....I am now raising three boys of my own....and it is really apparent to me how much they need their dad in their life.
2006-10-21 15:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by freggs 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well honey good luck...you'll have to prove that she is a unfit mother and that these days is very hard to do....I assume you are saying she is an ok mom simply because you two can not agree on most things.however just because you can not agree on things doesn't make her a bad mother...
2006-10-21 15:31:45 · answer #8 · answered by rebelicious_angel228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you have joint custody and this is what the courts decided but you think she will have a better life then you need to have good reason for this and if you do then go for it good luck sureill
2006-10-21 15:48:48 · answer #9 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you two are divorced.
you probably should work it out in court.
2006-10-21 15:31:41 · answer #10 · answered by michelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋