Example question: If the two of them were being held captive by Hitler (I don't know why Hitler) which one would I save first? And that's only one for instance. They've got dozens of diffent scenarios.
If I say I would save them at the same time they say it's not possible. How do I answer them?
2006-10-21 15:05:57 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My kids have asked me the same sort of thing and I don't really believe that a parent can answer a question like that. I have explained to my children that it would be physically impossible for me to love one of them more than the others. I also explained that while I love each of them just as much, it is not necessarily for the same things, but never the less the same extent. My daugher once asked who I would save if a Tsunami hit and water was everywhere. I said to her 'well as you know I love each of you, but as you are a state level swimmer and your brother is also a high level swimmer I think I would grab your younger brother who is very underweight for his age as he would have the least chance of survival and I know you would never give up swimming.' SHe thought that was a good answer as I had pointed out how much I know she is capable as the eldest.
I think as long as you let them know that your love for them is evenly distributed while at the same time allowed to be different there shouldnt be a problem.
2006-10-21 16:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When they attempt to go into another scenerio stop them... Say and quote exactly "I love you both equally but in different ways due to your different personalities... I am sorry you feel so insecure that you want me to choose which I love me because that is impossible for me to do.. I hope you will understand I will not play the who I love me game as it hurts my heart to see you pitted against each other in a battle neither can ever win because you both have already won because I love yo both more than words could ever express..."
If they continue to prepose scenerios start assigning research assignments they will each have to research any proposal they submit giving you a 1000 word written double spaced paper stating why they feel the other should be saved first... 1-2 papers and the fun of the game will be over because you have turned the tables and made them see the good in thier sibling they may have not seen before.. Give them 1 week for each paper and if they dont turn them in make them spend the day together researching and writing the papers...
2006-10-21 15:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible, because I am the mom and I said so. And if they say well you have to choose, I would say impossible I cannot. Becasue I love the two of you equallly and would not want to live without either one of you. So, i guess I would have to stay with the two of you and suffer the same fate. Wow, I have never encountered this with my chidlren, i have four sons and the last two are only 14 months apart. I wish i had a better answer for you. I am very grateful i have never encountered this and hope i never do. What do you say is a very good quesiton. One thing i can say is they have very active imaginations. And that is a wonderful thing. God bless you.
2006-10-21 16:36:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell them the truth!
You probably love both of them for different things. They are individuals, and not comparable. How do you compare a monkey with an orangutang?
This is a very manipulative question.
Remember, sometimes silence is the best answer. Smile, rub their little heads, and tell them how much it would hurt you if Hitler did anything to them. They need to feel safe. You are in charge of their boundaries, and their protection.
2006-10-21 15:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by Lion J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them you love them both the same and Hitler has been dead for along time so ther is no need to worry. Besides you love them so much and protect them 24/7 that they will never be in a situation that they need saving from. It worked with my kids. Good luck.
2006-10-21 15:08:38 · answer #5 · answered by twysty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let them know that as a parent is is impossible to answer those sort of quetions. Tell that you love them the same even though they are two different people. I would explain to them that one day when they become parents they will realise how strong a love is for your own children and they too will not be able to choose between two children they love the same way.
2006-10-21 22:25:31 · answer #6 · answered by mountain girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them Hitler's dead, so you wouldn't have to save either of them. Show your children through your words and actions that you love them both. I never questioned my parents love for me or my siblings because they were always there for each of us. They didn't show favoritism in any way - even though I know they loved me more!
2006-10-21 15:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by TJMiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth. Tell them that when you were pregnant with the 2nd child you were scared if you could love him/her enough... but when you laid eyes on him/her... your realized that your love was not divided, but multiplied. If you were to save them, you would save the one farthest away first so you could pick up the other one on your way out. Tell them that when in situations as chaotic as the suggest, your brain doesn't think. Instead, your body just reacts and it does so as logically as possible. It does it quick and instantaneously... and you would save the one that is hardest to get first bc you want to make sure they get saved since you are sure that you'll be able to save teh easiest. hope this helped!
2006-10-21 16:40:58 · answer #8 · answered by tiyona17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids did the same thing to me. I wouldn't fall for it. I just tell them that I love them all the same, period. Since I have 3 kids (girl, boy girl) I tell the oldest "You're special because you're my first." I tell my son "You're special because you're my only son." and I tell my youngest daughter "You're special because you're my baby".
The truth is, God loves us all the same, so why can't we love our children the same?
In the movie "Sophie's Choice", she had to choose, and it ended up practically driving her crazy.
A mother might miss her 10 year-old child more than her 2-year old child if something were to happen to them, but that's only because she has spent more time with them, NOT because she loves them more.
One time Martin Luther was asked "Do you have dying grace?" and he answered "No, I'm not dying yet." Only God knows what you would do at a time like that, if -God forbid- you should ever have to choose between your kids.
2006-10-21 15:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by Linda S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. I did this to my parents. It is just a phase, but make sure u never say one or the other. For me it was just a sibling rivalry thing. My brother wanted to make me mad, and i himn so wed' ask our parents who theh liked better.
Try these tactics my parents did:
* make joke (e.g saying which ever child will go to a college farthest is ur fav)
* change the subject to someting fun that they like to do ( e.g the park or pool)
* or just say a mother's love is equal
2006-10-21 15:40:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋