I am pregnant with our second child. My husband is not nice to me. I asked him and he says he is unhappy in our marriage.
2006-10-21 14:40:18 · 22 answers · asked by katherinernilson 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
There is no adultery, or drug abuse. When I say he doesn't treat me nice, I am referring to the things he says to me on a constant basis. No physical abuse at this point either.
2006-10-21 15:52:03 · update #1
I recently had to make this same choice. This is what I realized: There was a reason why I chose to marry him and why I chose to have children with him. Of course, your relationship changes after children but it will be up to you to make your hubby feel important. Praise him for any little thing he does. In turn, he will feel appreciated and probably be a little happier. He may be feeling left out. It's so easy to do when you are focusing on your children. And here's the biggest thing and it took me a while to get around this but IT'S TRUE: love your husband first and your kids second. I know it sounds crazy, but without a strong bond between you and your hubby - your family is nothing.
Good luck.
2006-10-21 14:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I am sorry to hear you are having trouble in your marriage. Second of all, did you ask your husband WHY he is unhappy? I read all of the other answers, and I agree that if you can't talk to each other, and resolve the issue that way, then you should go to counselling. It definitely can't hurt. The other thing I agree with is that you need to put your husband first. What I am wondering is if he has been this way the whole time you've been married, or is this something fairly recent? When you have kids, it changes your relationship with a husband. That should come first, as it hopefully did BEFORE you had kids.
Good luck!
2006-10-21 21:54:24 · answer #2 · answered by cey12000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, its obviously unfair to both of you that you have 2 kids on the way. Also he is probably unhappy because he feels restricted with the kids. You need to carry the conversation with him further and ask him is it the kids, is it you (the wife), is it him not going out and being single? Also you need to figure if you are happy. There are many endless possibilites. My suggestion would be to talk to him, just a long talk. Talking could prevent cheating, him getting drunk all the time, etc. I dont know if he is doing those things now obviously but and unhappy marriage can easily lead to those things.
2006-10-21 21:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by thehereyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children often take it really hard when parents get divorced, but if you have a bad marriage it might have a even worse impact on them. Give it a lot of thought and make a decision. I am sure your kids don't want to live in an unhappy house. If you can make it work though than that is great too.
2006-10-21 21:45:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sakora 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents struggled with the same issue for a long time... too long. The best thing they did together was get divorced. Our family is still a family because they got divorced. If they wouldnt have... God only knows how much worse it could have got. Always try to keep it together first. But if after 6 months, if you're still in the same spot or worse, try seperating for a while. And see how it goes from there. Good luck. And keep your head up.
2006-10-21 21:57:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only blibical reason for leaving a marriage is adultry.If your being abused or mistreated in any way separation is the way to go,during your separation you should fast and pray and see a counselor ,like your pastor would be the best person for you and your husband to counsel with.
2006-10-21 22:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by Erica B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate Dr.Phil, but I agree with him on this.......
Unless you are being abused you should try counseling for at least 6 months before you consider divorce....if he isn't willing then you have an issue.
Lots of couples have unhappy times.....maybe he just needs some space.
If he is abusing you GET OUT NOW!
2006-10-21 22:15:02 · answer #7 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need to go to counseling. Find out WHY he is unhappy in your marriage. Then, go from there. If he is unwilling to work on things and continues to be 'not nice' then it is time to consider if you are willing to live with that for the rest of your life.
2006-10-21 21:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by Just Me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ive been back and forth on that same issue myself and the best advice i can give is you deserve to be with someone who you make happy if he isnt happy with you then leave why try to make it work just for the kids you can both still be parents but live seperate lives. good luck with that i know its an emotional time for you especially while you are pregnant. sorter makes you wanna say to him why did we decide on this second child if you werent happy with the marriage.
2006-10-21 21:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling first and if that doesn't work you need to walk away. If he's not nice to you, you need to do what's best for your children and being in a bad marriage is probably not best.
2006-10-21 21:43:13 · answer #10 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋