Has anyone lost friendships, spouses or family because of Bipolar?

Question

When I first started with my black depression and was hospitalized, I was visited by my supervisors from work, friends I hadn't seen in years (with flowers), and family.

But as the years creeped by, the depression and hospitalization remained, but the people disappeared. Luckily I have a wonderful spouse who has stuck by me through it all, some family flew the coop due to uneasiness with mental illness. They were in fear of their children. As for the close friends - bye - bye.

This is just so unfair. If I had cancer or heart disease, would they have fled? Probably not...no...definately not.

Answer 1

Sadly, yes I have lost friendships due to bipolar disorder. In some cases, it was stigma that drove them away and in other cases, it was some of my bipolar behaviours that sent them packing (I become irritable when I get manic instead of euphoric). In a few cases, I've left the friendship myself, either out of shame or inability to put the effort into a friendship that it deserves.

I try very hard now not to 'wear out' any of my friends. I will ask for support, but not all the time from the same people. I will also try as much as I'm able to reciprocate in the friendship, even when I'm feeling horrid, like asking how someone's doing or asking about their job/pet/etc.

It's terrible that we have to be so careful and that people do turn away. It's not fair and it can be very hurtful. There needs to be a lot more education and information about mental health/mental illness put out into the community, so people learn and will know how to help.

Answer 2

I lost or pushed everyone away due to my bipolar hun. I even lost my marriage. My husband, who went through my therapy sessions and claimed he understood my disease.. and swore up and down he could withstand anything that we came up against..turn and ran the other way when he found out some of the things I had done prior to being treated for the bipolar. Things I had done 5 years earlier, before I had started medication. My kids on the other hand... have stood behind me through thick and thin. Even when I had a black moment and tried to kill myself, it was my two babies who were there when i woke up in the hospital. The only other person who was always at my side, was my Mom, but unfortunatey she passed away a year ago

Many days I feel very alone facing this. I don't like to burden my kids by telling them I'm having a dark day..so I paint a smile on my face and laugh a little too loud...for I'm trying to hide what's on the inside.

I avoid making intimate relationships because I know once they know what I am... manically depressed that they will run and hide... so I spend alot of time alone.. or dive too heavily into unseen faces of the people on the internet...so you are very lucky to have a husband who's stood by you as he has

Answer 3

I am afraid that people do flee at cancer and other diseases, also. Some people are afraid of confronting issues and sickness is often uncomfortable....not fair....no.....but it is true.

Now, to specifically discuss mental issues....often a person with emotional or mental issues will unknowingly push people away. A normal person can only handle being around a depressed person for so long. When efforts have been made to cheer up someone and it all appears in vain....That friend will begin to think that they aren't helping and if they are not careful they will become depressed, too. So, they put distance between you and them. This distance is probably self-protection and hurts both people.

Now that you are feeling better...why not reach out to them and let them know that you are better now. I think you'd find they maybe they are going through some trials that you could help them with.

Answer 4

I feel you. My husband is wonderful, and is my biggest supporter. My mother supports me too, but everyone else in my family turns the other way. My in-laws do not know my condition. I have lost friends and 3 years ago, I left my first fiance' after he told me he could not "deal with" a person on meds. It is unfair. But mental illness is one of the most mis-understood issues in the world. People don't want to understand. Good Luck. You will have friends that will stay by your side, and those are the ones that matter.

Answer 5

Hi Susie :) I work in a group transitional home with 6 wonderful people that struggle with the same illness. It saddens me to see that happen to them. When they first arrive to the home their family and friends are closely involved with everything they do. After a period of time, this seems to slowly become less and less. I still dont understand how they can do this to them. I think it has something to do with unawareness. If more people understood the disease and what causes it, the more accepting it could be.
I wish you and your spouse the best.

Answer 6

I had no friends to lost, for I always withdrawal myself from developing a deep friendship. I can cheat chat with any one and known to be a very friendly person, yet, I only allowed it to grow so little in fear of hurting them or getting hurt by them.
my family don't understand of Clinical Depression. They think they can help me by make it sound as it's no big of deal.
Minimized it, packed it away, and go on with your life....
Yes, you fail two marriages, you lost a good job, and lost all the money... you've done enough of damaged to yourself, so, now, try to do some better... Thank you family.
I am better now, with medics and changed of location to sunny, open, and warm temperature.
I've met my fiance who seen me thru both ups and downs, and finally, I am reaching out to make friends.
I am openly talking about the illness and surprise to learn that there are so many who understands. Their biggest fear is the sick person will not take their medics.
They know I am taking mine, and I think there's a friendship growing.
Please don't give up reaching out.
Life is unfair to pretty much everyone, but, we can all hope for the best.
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Answer 7

Be grateful for your spouse. Take your meds and be generous of spirit with everyone you meet. Forgive ignorance. Learn patience. Be optimistic. Make love and honesty your priority. Practice being at peace. meditate. Take long walks. Breathe. All will be well. :)

Answer 8

My son who is 8 years old was just diagnosed with bipolar, I have family members that don't speak to us anymore because they feel that bipolar is just an excuse