How to tell my parents i dont believe in god?

Question

i am 16 and my family is christian. my grandma is VERY religious and my mom and dad are no quite as religious as she is. i dont really believe in god, dont ask why, and i want to tell them but i dont know how they will take it. how should i tell them and what do u think they will say? Thanks

Answer 1

I'm not sure you have to tell them anything really. That doesn't mean that you should lie about what you believe or that you should participate in their beliefs. Just simply be true to yourself and don't compromise your beliefs. When a religious issue presents itself, such as being asked to participate in a prayer or some church service, just kindly decline and explain why it would be contrary to your beliefs. Be patient with them. If they truly believe you're going to rot in hell for not believing in a god, they're probably going to try to save you at least a couple times. But they'll get over it.

Answer 2

How you approach the situation will depend greatly on where your family is from, and what type of Christian they are. If you are from a more progressive faith, such as a Unitarian Universalist, it will be extremely easy... simply say that although you realize there is an order to the universe that is beyond your comprehension, you do not believe God can be a personalized controlling force. Instead, your view of God is that of a removed essence that binds all things together.

If on the other hand, you live in the Southern US, and come from a Southern Baptist family, I would simply keep it to myself, nod your head when they talk about how great god is, and simply start saving up money to move to California ASAP. Once here, you won't have to worry about being persecuted, as on the whole, we're pretty open minded.

Answer 3

Well you have thought this through, and your reasons hold water for you. Right?
Being 16 you feel you reached the age of reason, and in many cultures you have.
Sit your parents down and TALK, do not confuse words in anger with talking. If you must practice - then practice talking to someone that holds your beliefs, then talk with your parents as - adults.
Do not go in sounding as a child or worse spoiled brat type language. Pick your words to get your message across with out any confusion.
Do not have the telephone or TV, or music on - Talk to your parents as adult and serious as you can.
Respect your parents.
Respect yourself.
Keep your temper under control at all times, just in case.
No door slamming, etc. - if emotions get high, find a way to postpone this important talk, for later.
If your beliefs are not that different then a talk together will bring these out and everyone will understand each other better.
Try to keep your family together, as being 16 you may not believe this but family is a foundation that helps as you move into college and your future.
Empathize with your father and mother before you talk to them. Write notes and questions as you talk together.

Answer 4

Kryssy, I will not judge you. For most of my life I did not believe in God so I know where you are coming from. I also understand that you love your parents and don't want to disappoint them. I admire you for those loving feelings. I hope I have something to say that will help you with your dilemma. For over 20 years now, I have been a follower of Jesus. I am not religious. I do not call myself a Christian because the majority of people who call themselves Christians are not. You can tell by the way they act; hypocritical, mean, judgmental, etc. That is not the way Jesus taught us to treat others and I do not want to be associated with people like that. I do believe the Holy Bible is the word of God and teaches us all we need to know about who God is and who we are and why we need Him. I also believe if you share some verses of the Bible with your parents it will help them to understand better. I will mention a couple here, but perhaps you know some that are more appropriate for you. First, I suggest you stay in your "adult" while you talk to your parents and keep your "kid" in another "safe" place. Talking with your parents adult-to-adult will make your conversation much more effective (and will help you keep your emotions under control). Next, I suggest tell your parents that God has not yet called you and given you the faith to believe. No one can believe in God unless He first calls them. These are Jesus' words: "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day." John 6:44 "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." John 14:6 Feel free to contact me if you wish. Peace

Answer 5

OK, quick discussion on human communication skills
You have the Parent, the Adult and the Child- those "voices in your head" that you hear about? The Parent is always saying "You should do this, or do that" the "Adult" is the one where you actually communicate with other people and "Child" is when you say "I want I want I want" ok?

Listen to the voices in your head, learn from them- Freuid had called these voices "Ego, Super Ego and Id" decades ago, but now its "Parent, Adult, Child"

Effective communications only take place between Adult to Adult. So start the conversation that way.

I strongly encourage you to keep studying until you're 18, about God, however.

Read the life story of Dr Grahams SON the Hells Angel,,,and learn from it.

Good Luck

Answer 6

You know your parents better than any of us can. If you think it is going to be a great trouble, then I think you should avoid the subject until asked. Keeping your mouth shut may be the best thing you can do. If you have to tell them it is best to be honest. They will probably want a reason so you should have your belief well founded.

Answer 7

You need to come clean with them, especially your grandma. Hopefully if grandma is born again she can explain to you why you must submit to Christ or else perish. I'll try to tell you, but it is up to God to convict you of your sins. The reason why you need Christ is because you have sinned against a Holy, Righteous God and He is deeply offended. If you were to die today and face the judgment of God without faith in Jesus you would be completely guilty before Him and He has every right to not let you into Heaven. Therefore, you would spend eternity without God. I do not wish that upon anyone and neither does your grandma. Your grandma loves you very much and wants you to be saved from God's wrath. Jesus is the rock of salvation. Without Jesus, you'll face the judgment of God and that would be a horrible thing. You must repent of your sins and trust Jesus to save you.

Answer 8

I would think that your parents should have picked up on it by now. Perhaps you should, instead of blurting it and making them panic, bring up the topic slowly, and tell them you no longer wish to go to church, and you would prefer they allow you to do some soul searching in private. It doesn't matter is you have already decided to be an atheist (welcome to the club), they only need to know what is necessary.

Answer 9

I am also a christian, and I commend your honesty.
I would say that you have questions on God.
And that you need to to figure things out about God.
And you need to have your own experiences with him, So you question his existance.
I don't want to pressure you or make you feel condemed, but I would suggest to you to tell God also how you feel. I know that you don't believe, but I would say it as if he did, and see where that leads you.

Answer 10

Mmm

what if u say instead: I am going through an insight questioning phase...and think I am searching for God...in a very intimate process....



I think this way u wont break ur grandmam´s heart.