“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”?

Question

I found this quote on line and it makes sense. I understand it to mean that those that are suicidal have more pain than can cope with right now. To the point which the pain becomes unbearable and coping resources are not enough to handle the pain. Have you ever been suicidal and what coping resources did you have to recover?

Answer 1

this makes very good sense except suicide is chosen. ... by a mind which has determined all of your above.

thank you

be well

...

if death was unattractive those who would choose suicide would not consider it. your buddy navy seal smiled at death because he accepted it was a possibility. whereas.....those who are in the throes of depression or with life circumstances not of their choosing and would naturally accept circumstances not of their own creation...disapprove of the burden and responsibility which others have loaded upon them. death is not the issue. death do not exist.

what is the issue for the mind which chooses or considers suicide is that some realizations (however true) are unbearable.

now....of course there will be unfulfilling realizations in the choice of suicide as a remediative solution because any person do not fully comprehend the nature of the realization which is disturbing the mind.....and making life emotionally upsetting.

listen...here is the fact. any person which considers/commits suicide do not enjoy what is occurring in their own minds. but they will most always be not with all of the information necessary to comprehend the 'realization' which is disturbing.

yes...any person which commits suicide has lost hope....

in these times hope is what keeps the fires burning...the lights on...and ears listening.

hope is not much understood for its value in sustainment through the difficult times but.........without it.........there is no hope.

hope is love is life

it is what has kept me going because i know that above and below the thin ice of disturbing realizations are the elements which have combined to create this thin ice. but that not only thin ice exists....as i open my eyes and ears to see and hear what are/were the conditions which exist to show me what is 'thin ice'.

all people have compassions...make no mistake about it.

but the difference between a person which becomes mad with the desire to endure through madness and the person whom would off their self to the whole is that one has determined that life is worth living here with the madness (for fighting/resisting/changing) and the other determines is not worth it.

nothing is changed in the choice to commit suicide except that you readily admit that there a conditions of self and society which to you...(and me) are unacceptable). but..............people who endure come to the same realization by way of the people they step on or are stepped on by in this process of selfishness.

again.....suicide is a choice made in the mind due to very traumatic feeling realizations created by thoughts in the mind created in human relationships. but all of these realizations are only partially true and if the full truth were known of them....laughter would change fear to love.

take care

Answer 2

I understand this quote except that it's always a choice. The heart of it is that pain exceeds resources to cope in which case suicide seems like the only choice left to end the pain. It actually does make sense, and contrary to what some believe, it's not such a selfish act, at least not to the one contemplating. Clinical chronic and major depression are emotionally and physically debilitating and painful. Ending life when the disease is one that's obvious to society as chronically and acutely painful is not considered such a selfish act. Depression just happens to be an illness that you don't wear on the outside.

What's gotten me thru is knowing that I did not want to give emotional pain to my family. I also managed to maintain a dim awareness that feelings can change even when they've been stuck in the spiraling down gear for what seems like always and forever, knowing that there are meds out there that might help, and knowing suicide is something I'd get right the first time. So, in the end, it was the ability to hang on to hope that the pain could be alleviated - which is a resource of sorts, so I've never completely been to the quotation's place.

Answer 3

There are plenty of coping resources out there for the taking. Not everyone uses them, however. Even in small towns, there are nationwide toll-free numbers for crisis centers that are staffed around the clock. Sometimes a person's ego won't let them admit to others that they are hurting, but the choice of suicide that far too many people make solves absolutely nothing. I was suicidal as a teenager after my very first girlfriend broke up with me, but with the help of a counselor, my family, my extended family and friends at church, and most importantly my renewed faith in God, I'm alive today.

Are you considering suicide yourself? I hope that if you're asking this question because you are considering harming yourself that you'll talk to somebody about how you're feeling and realize that once the "solution" of suicide is done, you can't undo it once you realize that it's a tragic mistake.

The first link below contains information on toll-free crisis hotlines. Please use them if you need them. Take care.

Answer 4

My abnormal psychology teacher in college explained suicide in a very similar way, he said that someone who is suicidal feels as if they have fallen into a well and no matter how hard they try they cannot seem to get out. I know first hand the effects of suicide to a family and trust me, it's not the way. A person who commits suicide doesn't realize how the people they leave behind are going to hurting and for a long,long time....i know, ask my 10 year old son, who's father shot and killed himself. It's been a very tough 3 years and I'm sure it's not going to ever go away.

Answer 5

I've been there. I would add to that quote "with no hope of ever relieving or reducing that pain" When ones heart is breaking, we usually see that we will heal, somehow cope with our loss or disappointment, USUALLY. When the pain is physical & the reason known & we also know this is as good as it's gonna get or maybe it'll get even worse, then death starts to look pretty good. If you believe in reincarnation as I do, then death comes to you with open arms. And you only hope it comes soon.
as an aside: I'm not suicidal, just pragmatic. Anyway, just got the news yesterday that I have chronic hep-c, so now it' how much credit card debt can I rack up & how much of the world can I see before I die :D
Oh, and as for resorces, Mental emotional pain--counseling, support groups, ALL kinds of help out there. Physical pain: I had to repeatedly at ever dr I went to emphasize that I was in unbearable and UNNECESSARY pain--since there are many pain scrips they just weren't givin' up easily--god forbid you get attached (noticed I didn't say addicted) attached to NOT being in PAIN. They would rather have YOU suffer in great pain than to risk losing THEIR RX writing priveliges.--sorry alittle pent up frustration there.

Answer 6

Thank you! This quote describes exactly what it is like. Some people say it is selfish to commit suicide or contemplate it but what they do not realize is that the persons' brain is not functioning normally, they are unable to be rational because the pain is more intense than anything they can imagine putting up with...and the worst thing of all is NOT knowing WHEN the pain will end.

So thank you very much for raising this.

Answer 7

I have been, and my coping resource was drugs only. The drugs aren't meant to be permanent, and now that I'm off them and at college, my pain and stress have increased and my resources are the same. I go to the Suicide: Read this First page when it gets too bad, and it helps me cope.

Answer 8

Have been. Was interrupted by what some may say was Divine Intervention. I figure it was just bad timing. Am suicidal at this time. I no longer have any coping mechanisms. Just lost the very few that was keeping me hanging on about thirty minutes ago. Will probably carry out my well thought out and carefully orchestrated accidental demise this week coming up.

Answer 9

I believe the quote is a true statement. Yes I have been in the past, and luckily I came in contact with a wonderful counselor who helped me see past the problems and look for a solution. People saying it's a choice don't understand what is going on inside the suicidal person's thoughts. Neither does the suicidal person, really.

Answer 10

Well, someone who wants to commit suicide probably does have too much pain to cope with, but they also are pessimistic. Someone can have a lot of pain, but be happy and able to deal with life because they look on the bright side of things. So it depends on how you look at it.

Answer 11

I have been suicidal and hearing that quote might have pushed me off the edge. I did not go through with suicide because I realized that I would just be transferring my pain onto others. I especially couldn't do that to my parents. In my view, suicide is selfish. I also realized that others have gone through what I did and they came through it, sometimes even stronger and wiser.