My best friend is dating a girl who I think is cheating on him, but I can't prove it, nor do I want to be the bearer of bad news if I could prove it.
They've been dating for 3 1/2 years. He's not working (has been for 2 years) because of a disability, she works 40 hrs a week, but for some reason, can only seem to see him maybe 5 hrs a week, normally 1 or 2 days.
She constantly breaks their plans, sometimes with good excuses, sometimes with lame a$$ ones...
He says he loves her...
They haven't f*cked in at least 1 1/2 to 2 years...she never spends the night at his house.
I used to have a relationship with him 5 yrs ago, and have moved back into his life over the last year. I think out of this whole year, I've spent every night (except maybe 6 days when he was visiting his mom) at his house with him.
Somehow she tested positive for hpv and had the lesion frozen off about 5 mths ago, but gives him some lame a$$ explanation.
Why else would a gf be so distant?
2006-10-21 10:05:38 · 13 answers · asked by deuciecabbage 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know it appears to be a motive by me. He and I can't be together romantically, we self-distruct. We get into trouble cause we fall into old routines.
I love him and I know he loves me. I value the friendship more than anything.
It's hard though seeing him get hurt. This morning they had plans to go to breakfast, and she canceled by calling at 2am to tell him.
After a while of seeing a guy you do love tear up because she's canceled for the umpteenth time, it gets a little old.
I don't want to see him hurt.
2006-10-21 10:21:28 · update #1
Also, while she does work the 40 hrs, I don't think that's a good reason to ditch your man. I work 40 hrs at my reg day job and I work 17 hrs at a pt time job, and I go to college 2 nights a week and still manage to see him everyday.
I would think that no matter how tired you are, you would make time to be with your significant other. She only lives 5 miles away, it's not like she has a horrible drive or anything.
2006-10-21 10:27:47 · update #2
She may not be cheating, but she may definitely be pulling herself away, distancing herself from the situation. She may not want to call off the relationship because she cares about your friends feelings. She has invested quite a bit of time. She may be cheating. Hard to say something like that without proof.
2006-10-21 10:09:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because his over-bearing Ex. moved back into his life, and taking her place? You've been there every night for the past year, and you wonder why she stays away.
If she's working 40 hours a week, she's probably pretty burned out on working, and likes to have some relax time by herself. It is too bad that she's breaking plans (that is shady).
Is he in good enough health to be sexually active? If he's on disability, maybe he's not.
HPV is a virus like herpes - it doesn't go away, and you can get it from one person one time, and it doesn't always show up immediately. AND condoms don't always protect against it. Maybe she got it from the last person she was in a relationship with, and it surfaced only recently, when she had an outbreak.
Also, not all relationships are completely centered around sex.
Does he have a problem with how their relationship is? I would think that if he did, he'd have said something to her a while ago.
2006-10-21 10:15:23 · answer #2 · answered by Sylvie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like you've got some issues. Why are you so interested in someone elses relationship. Seems like you're just interested in getting your ex back. How do you know that your friend isn't just telling you what you want to hear, ie that he hasn't had sex with her in 1 1/2 to 2 years. Maybe he's just looking for a little sympathy side action from you. In any event, you need to butt out and live your own life for gods sake.
Oh btw, like the person a few above me said HPV can remain dormant in the body for years without any signs or symptoms and it is true that approximately 80% of the population has some form of it. If you were with him and had previously been with someone else, it's even possible that you gave it to him...how bout them apples??
2006-10-21 10:10:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She could either have someone else or it could be she has more cancer than the doctor has picked up on, and cancer makes you very tired and worn out. I learned that from experience, and in my case the cancer took away my sex drive. It may not do that to all people, but it did me. Also the doctor thought I had only a few lesions he was going to remove but I wanted a hysterectomy for different reasons and if he had not done the hysterectomy he would not have found all the cancer hiding inside. Good luck unraveling this one!
2006-10-21 10:29:03 · answer #4 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hpv can be from past relationships b/c it's not detected right away. I think she feels obligated to him that's why she is still there. Maybe his disability is a problem she is not willing to admit to. Sex is important in a relationship and he should speak up for himself on that issue. And if you r staying with him are u her reason for her being jealous and distant? Do u have feelings for him and maybe that's why u want her to get it together or leave him so u can pick up where u ended? It's seems to me you r closer to him and more deserving of his luv... I hope this helps.....
2006-10-21 10:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by monie42003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's cheating. How the hell could she get HPV if he's not cheating? I think she's losing interest in him so right now, someone else has her full attention right now. All her time and attention is going to that new man of her she has. She probably doesnt even know how to break up with him without hurting his feelings. I guess u can just bring the idea to him and ask him if he think she's cheating. Do u like him? Maybe u could be a better woman to him
2006-10-21 10:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by yogurlmsbunny 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The HPV could have been from years ago. It is estimated that 80% of the population has it, which means your ex probably has it too.
It seems that you have your own agenda and don't care about him either. Just because he breaks up with his current girlfriend doesn't mean that he would go to you.
2006-10-21 10:10:00 · answer #7 · answered by Laughing Libra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There could be many many many reasons, try not to worry about it - there is nothing you can do.
You can never really understand someone else's relationship - there may be things you don't know.
All you can do is be there for your friend if/when it ends.
2006-10-21 10:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell him..you said you don't want to be the bearer of the bad news, but you also don't want to be the one blamed that 30 years later they broke up because he found out she was cheating on him. so just tell him what you know and if he doesn't listen then just leave him alone for him to figure out. and once he figures out, he'd thank you for your warning and regret not listening to you.because then it will turn out that you warned him but he didn't listen so you're not to be blame by him.
2006-10-21 10:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by iloveducks_99 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is another fine example of someone trying to keep the black man down
2006-10-21 10:08:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋