Generically; I know it differs per relationship, but on average, after what given time frame should a couple get engaged, married and have kids? I've been with my boyfriend for a year; is it too early to seriously consider the longer future?
2006-10-21 09:58:28 · 15 answers · asked by koochilly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Everyone is different, but a reasonable amount of time invested pays dividends.
My wife and I 'dated' (horrible word) for a couple of years before moving in together, lived together for a couple of years before getting engaged, were engaged for a couple of years before getting married and were married a couple of years before starting our Family and it all worked great. Well for a couple of years until we divorced!
Not really, we had a few years between children and we are still really happy together (in between the blazing rows), lol!
Take the time you need to be sure of each other, could be six months between stages, could be a few years.....only you will know, you can't phone a friend on this one!
2006-10-21 10:11:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The time to get engaged is when you both know and feel that you are ready and want to commit to each other - you both believe you have found the life time partner, know each other good and bad points, dont feel compromised in anyway and it's a well thought out joint decision. Talk to your boufriend and see what he thinks, you will know it's time to start considering a longer future together but remember not to let the goal (whether is the engagement, marriage or living together) dominate your relationship, i.e. because i want to marry him, i must do this and that...focus on now and the future will pan itself out perfectly as long as you communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend. You're obviously in love now that you're thinking about the future. Smile! xx
2006-10-21 17:20:32 · answer #2 · answered by Helloyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar deliemma with my partner, he is very commitment phobic!!
I don't see the harm in looking and working towards a future together at one year. However, time estimates are going to vary based on:
- Your age
- His age
- How many past relationships both of you have had
- Where you are in your life
- Your careers (are you working on climbing the ladder? Relocating soon? Going back to school?)
- Your friends and families
- Maturity levels of all parties involved...
... It's such a complicated situation, and various far too much for anyone on the internet to give you answers.
Your best bet is to have an honest talk with him. Ask him where he wants to go with the relationship, and figure out if you're headed in the right direction- what steps need to be taken to continue that way, etc. It may not be time for marriage right now, but it's always an okay time to check in and evaluate where you've been and where you're going.
Good luck!
2006-10-21 17:06:18 · answer #3 · answered by ckgalatea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a year's probably not long enough to really know someone well enough. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, I know it sounds obvious but it takes a couple of years at least to know if you want to be with someone for the rest of your life.
Consider the future by all means - ie do you both have the same goals with having children, marriage etc, but don't actually commit to anything yet.
2006-10-21 17:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by monkeynuts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask the question then the time isnt right. When you meet "Mr Right" you will know.
Met my fella in july, engaged in November married a year later. Been married for 22 years this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-21 20:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by multiflowercolour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not too urly to consider it but just make sure your really want it because you dont know how hard it is to realise that you married the wrong person. i think you should wait at least another year. but you can still think about it
2006-10-21 17:18:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A year is not very long, but, in saying that, the right time will be when you both feel the same about this.
Take it slowly, don't frighten him off.
2006-10-21 17:05:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER BEEN MARRIED THANK F**K,, BUT ID SAY 3 YEAR TILL YOU GOT ENGAGED AND AT LEAST 5 BEFORE YOU MARRIED..
2006-10-21 17:14:16 · answer #8 · answered by madmarie35 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not to early if it feels right. depends on the individuals and the state of the relationship
2006-10-21 17:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
each one every 5 years,add second & third child at two year intervals if you liked the expierence with the first
2006-10-21 17:03:33 · answer #10 · answered by Cool Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋