Geting Really Frustrated....Opinions??

Question

I have a 2 y/o, 7 m/o and am pregnant with our 3rd due in May. My entire family live out of this country leaving me with just in-laws
My husband is a wonderful, strong man and very devoted to us 3 but he is just one person and i'm getting scared, upset and worried about what will happen when i have to deliver this baby.
His family refuse to help us despite all these months of us bending over backwards for them. We asked when my 2nd was due if they could watch our 2y/o they all refused, they never come to our house and won't even to just babysit while i deliver for just half a day!! We asked if anyone will help watch one of the girls when i deliver #3 and they all said no, meaning, my husband is going to have to either stay home with girls and i deliver alone, or he comes and has to watch both girls, leaving no hands to take pictures..i'm highly considering a home birth to ease the stress on him, but i worry about complications..i just want to cry i'm that frustrated, what do we do?

Answer 1

do you have a neighbor you can trust or friends or I would say the local church or I would run a add in the paper to see if you could hire some one to watch them in my area we even have over night day cares so it dose not matter what time of day or night you need child care there is one available I would check into it and just see what is a available good luck!!!
or even a teenager that lives near you would be good I would run a add in the paper and just see if you get any calls I wish I could help you I would love too I can't wait to have Grand kids but I will have to Wait a while my oldest is still in 10th grade I lost my first baby miscarried or she would be 22 years old in Jan. 07 I hope you can find someone good luck!!!!

Answer 2

if you can do the home birth route, it sounds like a great experience, and i totally recomend it. there will obviously be expense involved, but i am sure you could pull it off where you have time. you should talk to your doctor about that.
otherwise i think you should look into babysitting services in your area. i know it is hard to find someone that you would trust your kids with, but you can do interviews and make sure that you feel comfortable leaving your children with said person... get a nanny cam for extra comfort. go out a few times for a couple of hours with the sitter watching the kids so you know that you can feel comfortable. if all goes well then you will have help if you decide to deliver at the hospital.
it is a very frustrating time that you are in, but it will pass, so keep your head on, and good luck!!

Answer 3

Wow! My heart goes to you, that is a really difficult situation. It sounds like there must be more going on though, I can't understand why all you in-laws would be so mean! I know you said that your family live out of the country, but isn't your mom even willing to make the trip to come and help?

I've never had, been to or known anyone who had a home birth, but it's something I would consider in your situation. Obviously your doctor will know your risk factor better than any of us. Did your last 2 deliveries go smoothly?

Have you considered hiring a babysitter for d-day? I don't mean like a teenager, I used an agency in my city once. I got their number through the hotel I was staying at for my sisters wedding, but I'm sure you could find one in the phone book. It was expensive ($15/hour), but it was a retired nurse that they sent, she was wonderful.

Answer 4

I think sometimes the only other people that can truly relate to your situations are other mothers with young ones. I think extended families are great but its true that often grandmothers forget what it was like to have little ones- I know how disappointing it is to feel that they are not going to be there to help you out. As a young mom myself with no support I found I had to seek out other women. I joined community groups like Le Leche League or Stay at Home Moms when my daughter was nearly 8 months- and realized I should have done it much sooner. The support emotionally was tremendous! And only another new mom can realize what a relieve it is to you when they offer to hold the baby while you run to the bathroom! Although I hadn't known anyone before I joined it was not long til I seriously felt like I had extended family that cared and wanted to help. Now we take turns watching each others kids while one goes to an appt or the store. We support each member through pregnancies and some are even their to help each other through labor and first really stressful weeks. I would highly recommended trying to find support outside of the family-- although husbands are great I really do think sometimes you need another woman who understands.

Answer 5

you got some time so work on two things

1. Finding a good midwife

2. Developing a network of friends with kids that are in a similar kind of situation. Look into support type groups as a way to find friends.

Remember that the gods let you pick your friends to make up for the fact that demons pick your family.

Answer 6

Can you hire a sitter who can watch the firls at home while you are at the hospital? Perhaps their is a neighbor or someone that your 2 year old is friends with? It's awful to have to pay someone when you have family right there. . .what is wrong with these people? I'd cut them off and focus on your own family right now. Good luck. I'm sorry your husband's family isn't more supportive.

Answer 7

start searching for nannies in your area maybe you could have one sit with the two you have now just to get to know them if you like them you could ask her about maybe being on call when you deliver by the way i know how you feel through the last part of my pregnancy i was homeless and my family was unable to help my sons fathers family refused to help at all and i lived in a shelter for two months until one of my friends was able to take me in now we have our own place and are doing very well but as for the in-laws well they dont get to see the baby why should i where were they when i needed help

Answer 8

Your In-laws are sure messed up. You should look into getting a nanny. Don't give her too much credit though, have you seen the movie The Hand That Rocks The Cradle? It states that "the hand that rocks the cradle" is also the strongest hand in the house.

Answer 9

Well your husband can always bring the kids to the hospital.. My 2 year old was at the hospital while I gave birth to her little sister in Aug..

Or find a friend/coworker or something to babysit..

Answer 10

Even though I am a LIason fan, it wouldn't bother me if Jason and Sam got back together because obviously Liz and Jason will not be happening and it seems Lucky and Liz still have deep feelings for each other.