Need some help? (serious answers please)?

Question

I wasn't sure of what section to put this under but this section seemed appropiate. I have cut myself before over some issues going through my head. I did it to make promises to myself. I stopped for a while. Now I'm starting to think about doing it again because I am thinking that this one of the only solutions for me to get some self discipline. This is partially because of the stress of school and the feeling of pressure from parents to do good in school. I've been trying in school and I still get marks that don't satisfy them. I'm not failing but the marks are around 65%. I do understand they want me to do well. They have been dumping on me about it when I do that myself, that doesn't help any. Anyways I know I shouldn't cut myself but it keeps getting in my head that this is the only way that I can solve my problem of getting more self discipline.
My question is what can I do and tell myself to get this thought out of my head so that I don't start cutting myself again?

I need more self-discipline to excel at school.

I'm not going to tell my parents and I'm not too keen on the idea of counselling. (sorry about the spelling)

Answer 1

Hi,
Sorry to hear that. Please remember that no one is perfect. Please talk to some one, like your head teacher who might be able to explain/convince your parents. Please visit your GP or doctor and ask him to refer you to psychiatrist or psychologist who can do counselling regularly. Have som sort of determination in your mind that no matter what happens, you are not self-harming yourself.

There are people who are criminals and living in jail, there are people who sexually abuse young children and very old aged pensioners. You are none of them. And you are no where near to their level. But you are just an ordinary and normal and decent person who tries to be better. Trying to be better is human characteristics. Think if there is anything you can do to do better in your studies so that you can get better marks. Tell your sub-conscious mind( by repeating again and again) that you are loving yourself, respecting yourself, and treating yourself very highly. You are just like anyone else who deserves self-respect.
If you really get angry, try to tear old news pater or burst balloons and release your anger. If you feel like cutting yourself or self-harming yourself in any ways, can release your anger as I said, or you can even go to the bathroom and wash your face and head with cold water. If you think your parents are very understandable, talk to them of what you think and what you do. If not, find some one who can do a better sort of counciling, like head teacher , as I said earlier.

Have a pocket size card and write on it "I AM NEVER EVER GOING TO HARM MYSELF. I AM CREATED BY GOD. I RESPECT MYSELF. I AM A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON." And carry this card into your shirt pocket or whereever its convinient. And remind yourself that, this is the rule you have made it for yourself and you are not going to break this rule.

Do not talk about it to your friends who might humiliate you and make you feel even worse. But do talk to someone who can be sincere and helpful.

Everyday you did not cut yourself, thank yourself, thank yourself again at bed time. Have a determination that you won't be doing that for thousand years.

In case you get those sort of feeling, try to involve yourself in some ways: like watching your favourite program in tv; playing a game; doing some exercise; dancing; swimming; phoning your best friend and chatting with them.

I find dancing very helpful. You are not only relaxing yourself by music, but also doing pleasant exrecise that helps blood flowing through your body. With the flow of blood, you can get fresher thoughts. Whenever I feel low like that, I close the doors and live the window open for ventilation, and play my favourite songs and start dancing. Excercise is very good for our mind and body. Dancing relaxes you and makes your body and mind stronger as well.

There are so many things to do BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT. AND I AM SURE YOU CAN DO IT.

Answer 2

What you need is support, encouragement, and education about how to do what you need to do. This is an extremely complicated situation without an easy fix.

Human beings are very complex, and problems usually have many facets to them adding up to the obvious signs and symptoms. OK, your marks are not what you and your parents want them to be.

That's not the actual problem; the problem is whatever it is that's causing your marks to fall--again, quite complex. If your relationships are all good and supportive, then perhaps you just need some help with tutoring or study habits.

If your relationships with yourself and others are poor and nonsupportive, that may be causing you to feel depressed and unable to focus on your studies. This has to be addressed, and it's not THAT hard. (BTW, I've read your advice to others online, so it's clear to me that you're an intelligent, sensitive person capable of being helped--as you've helped others.)

Your parents are doing their best, based on their own experience and knowledge--just as you are--regardless of how well or poorly that is.

Unless your parents are completely neglectful and abusive, they will try to help you, if you let them. Family counseling might also be in order.

In any case, you've got to talk to a professional about this. Start with your school counselor. Generally, they're not really there for mental health counseling, but should have some advice for you to start with.

Cutting would only make your problems worse; and you know that. Take care of yourself. Be healthy and learn to problem solve in a functional way.

Answer 3

I suppose he was once crying false tears the entire time. He's thoroughly now not severe approximately the connection and he is losing your FEELINGS on him. Don't deliver your middle away to an insecure, bloodless-hearted man or woman like that. He appears like he is simply toying with you. He appears like he simply desires to know the way a long way he can cross into breaking you down till you ultimately say you've got had ample. I do not suppose he is the correct one for you, sweetie. There are tons of worthier guys in the market so that you can decide on, however significantly now not this one you are speakme approximately. Over time, you'll be able to overlook approximately him. Don't fear. You would love him nevertheless it doesn't suggest that you simply cannot placed that love onto any person else extra important. Best of good fortune.

Answer 4

hmmmm

seriously.

the reason you cut yourself is because of the emotional realization and stress in it....(but which your mind has great stress in believing/realizing/articulating)....so you cut yourself.

though you say it is because of some tactic of self-disciplining.

this is an error....you do not cut yourself to punish yourself.

you cut yourself because of the lie(s) which you and parents are living.

the lie ;

that you are a model after them and that you will be what they want you to be....or do and have or all of these.

you want to stop.???????

make the realization clear to them that there is someone of 'you' which cannot be who it is that they wish you to be.

listen....your parents and you have been living with good intentions and partial truths....and that these experiences are seriously under-mining the more full nature and reality of each of you.

you are not seeking self-discipline.....(the reason you tell yourself this is because you 'feel' you have been letting them down and then yourself.)(and self-discipline is a less true term but real living condition of what is exchanged for love...as love...conditional love).

ask your parents if they love you unconditionally.
if they say yes. that is very good. then say to them that the love which is necessary for you to discover your self and values is absent now in a place and experience it is required. namely....that you are not now dedicated to raising your marks and increasing your study disciplines to attain these marks. but that you would love to have their blessings of unconditional love anyway.

now.........this is the critical step. the next realization will be that your own parents may not realize how to accept you in an aspiration or dream (objective) undefined...since they have a vision for you which neglects some valueable person that you are.

DO NOT SELF INJURE here.........the pain which you will feel will subside when the communications increase and knowledge increases of who you are to you and what it is you value (for discovery and new enthusiasms into love of purpose).

ask your parents if they will sit with you and re-examine who you are and what it is you love.

clearly.......you are in a very difficult spot and realization.

but it is so much about them not knowing you well enough nor you understanding yourself very well....that this partial truth insights you into the feeling awareness and pain which is created by what it is you think you must do to gain their love and acceptance.

phewwww.....is it time to open about the realities of and practices of emotional blackmail.

i know the legal dudes and dudettes in family law would be shaking in their boots if i do.

please....let us be kind to our selves and parents.....

just because we don't understand the spirit very well do not mean in any that it is going to disappear or fail to make its' feelings/fears known to us.

be well

p.s.

write me anytime......

Answer 5

cutting and hurting yourself will not give you discipline. Instead of doing this, just talk to your parents and let them know what you have been doing and tell them how you feel pressured. You should start going to see a counselor to help you with your problems. This will help.

Answer 6

you are not disaplining yourself, you are punishing yourself for things and you are feeling guilty for doing it.
I know your not too keen on counceling and talking to your parents but youd be surprised how common this problem is. Its not safe though and you can cut yourself really bad.
Dont your parents see these cuts?
You need help to get through this and thats not bad or shameful- please talk to someone about it- do an internet search and youll find others like you and ways to cope.

Answer 7

This might sound odd, but what you need to do is have a physical fight with your parents. I'm serious. You must have a real fist fight with them. This is the only way some people will be able to learn.

You must stand up for yourself and your mental stability. You must not allow people to push you around. If words and reasoning do not work get physical with them. Beat it into them, they must learn to respect you.

Answer 8

Just do something that helps you relax almost everyday that way you will (1) have time to think about problems, (2) have something to look foward to, and (3) once you have thought about your problems they won't distract you in school.

Answer 9

Cutting has no relationship to discipline.

Answer 10

try to find a hobby; so when you wanna cut yourself, go do that hobby. try to find a hobby very different from ur life style. exemle: your a goth, go golfing