told my 22 yr old grandson he had to move out he hasn,t worked in 2 yrs and now is stealing from us
2006-10-21 08:00:00 · 10 answers · asked by siskawood 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you give/gave him a week or two deadline to get out and the number to a homeless shelter, there should be nothing to feel guilty about. After all, you aren't even the parent, you are the grandparent. These are your years to relax from all the childrearing. If he's stealing, he could ruin you financially. If he is still in your house, lock up the valuables. If he has ever been violent towards you, kick him out immediately.
2006-10-22 09:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will get over the guilt when he is working and being a responsible adult. The longer you are supporting him and watching him steal from you the longer you are going to feel guilty. He has to learn to be an adult. Why would he want to work if you are supporting him? I've seen this with many of my friends. My husbands mother was pretty much the same way. If he ever got in a jam mommy was there and still is in some cases. How is he to learn to take care of himself? It's time to cut the apron strings. You will both feel much better when he becomes a responsible adult. I'm sure it hurts and is going to be hard and he is probably going to say some mean and ugly things to you but he will thank you later and if he ever gets married, trust me...his wife will thank you too. Let him know that you will be there to give him advice but no more money and that you aren't doing this because he is a bad person. And let him know that you still love him and always will and you know that he can make it on his own. Give him lots of praise and encouragement.
2006-10-21 08:23:40 · answer #2 · answered by pickledtink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping him in your House it means you are engorge him to be a loser.You doing him a harm more than good. With your attitude you are going to make a criminal out of him he is start to steal from you, if he is stealing from you he will steal from some one ales and how do you know he is not . Sorry this is the truth. how about if you not around who is going to sport him' let him go and learn how to face the life and how to be a man. He is 22 yrs old not 2 yrs old.
2006-10-21 08:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not have any guilt at all he certainly should though. You gave him your love and a place to live. In my opinion, he has disrespected the relationship, he needs to go. It is a privilege to live at home at that age. Once the trust is broken, you can't be taken advantage of like that. Just have a talk with him, tell him how much you love him. It's because of your love for him that he has to learn he can't treat you like that. I'm sure he will understand, if not, it never was a grandparents responsibility to house and take care of him. The best outcome will be him growing into a better person, and gaining your respect .
2006-10-21 08:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't be any guilt if he's stilling from u stop being a baby n tell him he has to go n then change all the locks in ur house. Look into shelter if u feel that guilty of putting a 22yr old none working man out of ur bought n paid 4 house.
2006-10-21 08:19:57 · answer #5 · answered by ms.lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch a nature documentary about how birds rear their young. After they are old enough, the parents kick them out of the nest. Tell him he's lucky you never made him eat worms.
2006-10-21 08:04:37 · answer #6 · answered by open4one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE READ THIS!
http://lynneforrest.com/html/the_faces_of_victim.html
You are suffering from guilt from playing the RESCUER, and all the while you're feeling like a victim, right? You and he are playing a game that we ALL play, described as the Karpman Drama Triangle. This article describes what it is, and what to do about it. GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-22 03:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by charmian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel guilt! if you let him stay he would eventually become a 30 year old man who walks around in his bathrobe all day and doesnt have a career family or life. he should be thanking you! :]
2006-10-21 08:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by sofie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
congratulations to you my friend.
you waited too long.
why did you let him hang out so long i have to ask,
its sad but kids take advantage of their parents today, and whats sadder parents let them.
have a happy life and you can even without your son only come to visit once in a while
2006-10-21 08:04:38 · answer #9 · answered by daisymayNY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might have to live with your feelings, and do it anyway. What's wrong with that? Like when you don't feel like going to work but you do. You don't feel like kicking him out but you do.
Guilt is if you've done something wrong- you haven't, so your emotion isn't appropriate.
2006-10-21 08:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋