Mym mum and dad had me when they were quite young and only stayed together till i was asout 2 1/2. i moved away (not far) with my mum, he had access to me when ever he wanted but didnt see me hardly, i moved back close to him again and he still make no effort and it upsets me, his parents mean the world to me and would do anything for me. last summer he got married to someone i didnt know and i wasnt told, he moved and didnt tell me, and now just had a baby that i didnt know about. Why does he do it? what shall i do?
2006-10-21 07:58:56 · 28 answers · asked by pinkpetal86 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sorry sweetie but he is just a man after all..
2006-10-21 08:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by Vickezo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why does he do it? It sounds as if he doesn't care about you. That is a very hard fact to accept. It is hurtful and cruel. But the sooner you learn not to expect anything at all from your father, the sooner you will grow up and make a real life for yourself.
Expecting him to change will make you feel worse.
If it would help, write him a long letter telling him how much he has hurt you. It won't do any good but it might relieve your feelings to express this.
You can keep a nice relationship with your grandparents if that pleases you, but don't expect anything else from a man who seems not to want to be your real father.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
Don't rule out a little therapy or counselling to get you through this painful period.
2006-10-21 17:51:39 · answer #2 · answered by simon2blues 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do nothing. It's not your fault that he is a bad father, it's your luck. You can still benefit from this situation though... Now you've seen the worst type of a father, find yourself a wonderful man who will make a great dad to your children in future. And for your dad's behaviour, just tell yourself : It's his loss if he is missing the chance to get closer to you... Or feel pity for him as the feeling of fatherhood never came to him naturally and he missed the chance of living his life with the joy and happiness a child can bring. But never ever be hard to your self.
2006-10-23 14:32:18 · answer #3 · answered by better late than never 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try and contact him. If you talk to him let him know you would like to get to gether and talk about the past.. If you get a voice mail leave the same msg. And wait for a phone call. if you dont get a call leave another msg in a week or two. He will eather call back and have a conversation with you or he will call back with a not so nice msg for you or he may just not call back at all. But eather way you have to remember you can be ok with out him.. And maybe he thinks that its been so long without him that you dont need him. You need to ask yourself some questions. Do you think you life will be better with him in it? Do you think he is a good person to be around? Do you think he will have a positive impact on your life? Just a few things to think about. But I will almost guarntee that he has not forgoten you and He thinks about you all the time. My husband has almost the same situation but his childs mother will not call back.
2006-10-21 15:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by Nan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm one of the many many many daughters in this world that grew up without a father/daughter relationship. I do get jealous and a little depressed at times when I think of how he could just forget about me and move on. You can't let him have that....you have to move on also and don't give him the satisfaction of knowing it bothers you. Make him think you think he is a piece of poo poo dad and you are better off with out him. It will make you a stronger person and you will make good choices when you choose a man to start a family with because you aren't going to want the same kind of man for your daughter. His loss not yours!!
2006-10-21 15:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by pickledtink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can't do anything about this situation. I know you would love to have a relationship with your father but he obviously doesn't want one with you. Although it is painfull you need to get on with your own life and hope that one day he might realise what he is missing out on. Just remember its not you that has done anything wrong unfortunately some people are just blind to the love and responsibility that is required to be a parent. Wish I could make things better but I can't sorry.
2006-10-21 15:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by zephs mummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All this does not mean that he doesn't love you. so please do not feel that any of it is your fault. Get your mom to call his parents and you can tell his parents that you wud like to see your dad and spend time with his new family!! Maybe he does not know that you are willing to meet his wife and baby !! Whatever happens, do not hate him. Always be forgiving and loving. Wen you next see your dad, tell him how his past actions have hurt you and you may be surprised to learn that he did not mean to offend you. Sometimes parents 4get that children too have feelings !! I bet your dad did not deliberately set out to avoid you. He just doesn't know how you feel and until you talk to him, he will not know. Hope you guys become friends and have fun with the baby !!
2006-10-21 15:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by Elizabeth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see and understand how you feel,the world is full of fathers who do not make a proper effort with thier children,and it is not right.I think you should write hima nice letter firslty saying how busy he must be with a new baby,and perhaps suggest you met up for coffee.I think he should make the effort,but please do not feel this is a personal matter,he more than likely not very good at being personal and most men do not talk about how they feel,but there is no excuse,he should of passed on his new address,write to him and see how you get on.
Janine.
2006-10-21 15:07:18 · answer #8 · answered by janine s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wasn't ready to be a dad when you were born.........
He still is trying to shirk his responsibilities now..........
He clearly has not stopped to consider your feelings .......You have done nothing wrong and I know you watch films, programmes on T.V. with families and wonder and wish you had a dad like that and were his daddy's girl..........
I have been there and now realise that my mum was a fantastic person to make up for his short comings and how lucky I am to have that.........
He is acting like a single person with no other person to answer to but obviously that is not the case........
Just don't expect then you won't get hurt, like me you are just a victim of circumstances
My thoughts are with you XXX
2006-10-21 15:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why he left when you were you young?
You are his child and he will love you forever, no matter what.
Life goes on, ok he remarried, he needs love like anyone. Wait for him to contact you. He is more likely to be afraid of what you think about his new family than you are.
Make an effort to see your dad, tell him what you feel.
Best of luck.
2006-10-21 15:13:58 · answer #10 · answered by kosum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its nothing you have done. My father left us after beating me. Sometimes its for the better. Your father was not man enough to face up to his responsibility's it easier just to move on. Hes self centered you cannot stop being a father.
You want him to love you and be proud. I am proud of you because you have forgiven him. You are very brave and don't need this. Confront him with your feelings. He was wrong to leave you/He was wrong not to be there for you when you were frightened or worried when you had problems at school. he was not there for your mother. You owe him nothing you deserve his respect. I love my children I will always be there for them
2006-10-21 15:13:47 · answer #11 · answered by froggerty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋