Would you force your child to do this?

Question

I signed up for ballet lessons for my 3-year-old. We spent a bit of money on her ballet costume, slippers, etc. as well.
She had fun the first time, but the second time she went she came out crying hysterically and saying she didn't want to go any more. She's only 3, so I think it's ok if she doesn't want to go-- that we shouldn't force her. She doesn't go to daycare, so I think it's a little overwhelming for her (separation anxiety??).
My husband, on the other hand, says I should push her and make her go even if she doesn't want to, since we already spent so much money. He thinks not pushing her now will make her a quitter later in life.
I feel so bad making her go if she's crying that she doesn't want to!
What do you think?

Answer 1

i'd give it another try--ONE more try--and i'd call the studio up before hand and ask if they had an extra instructor who could be by her through the whole lesson. she might really like it if she doesn't feel so overwhelmed and that extra adult might help ease her into it. (this worked in another lessons-type-thing with my daughter, and I stay at home with her same as you.) anyway, give it another shot--maybe she was just in a "mood" the 2nd time. best of luck! i can tell you are a good mom because you care to do what's best and not damage your little girl in any way!

Answer 2

Shes 3. She didnt ask you to let her go to ballet did she? You could have taken her with you a few times to go watch a class or two, maybe she doesnt like being ''instructed'' or is anxious about separation.
Shes only 3 she wont be a quitter in life because right now you are making decisions for her.
I would go back and ask if you can stay during the first few lessons then gradually leave the room for more and more each time. If you can stay and she still reacts like that then I guess you have to wait a while to start her on activities like that.
Maybe after shes gone to preschool and got the whole jist of being somewhere without you.

Answer 3

I think YOU are right in not wanting too force your little girl too continue with these ballet lessons. I think a "Mothers Instincts" is usually right on target when it comes too their child. She is only 3 years old ! So don't let anyone tell you that if you don't force her too continue this that she will be a quitter in life!! That's crazy, and I'm sure you don't really believe that.
Take her out of these ballet lessons..your husband will get over It. Do what YOU feel is right for your child.

Answer 4

She's old enough to tell you why she doesn't want to go, even if it may take some translation to get to the root of the matter. If it's really because she misses you, it may be time to push the matter. In a couple years she's going to be going off to school, and she NEEDS this (or something like it) to develop her social skills with her peers. Some people send their kids to daycare, just so they can meet their peers before school starts, even though they have a parent at home all the time. It's good for her to get out and meet kids her own age. If she doesn't do it soon, the first day of school will be traumatic for her.

Answer 5

Instead of pushing her(which I understand that man mentality), have her do something else. Ballet might not be for her. DO push her into doing something tho. Doing things OUT of the house are very necessary! You don't want a child with anxiety problems b/c you never forced her to leave the house and do things without the constant looking over from the parents. Just remember to compromise with everything in marriage or after "I do" you will be saying "I do....want a lawyer!"

Answer 6

She is only 3. Quitting ballet is not going to affect her life, trust me. I quit ballet, piano and guitar. And what I got from quitting them was more valuable than learning these arts. I taught me that my mother would give me the freedom and space to try new things without the fear that I would be trapped into them forever. As a result, I developed an "adventurous' personality and had the confidence to suceed. I graduated saludatorian, won science fair competitions, went to college, became a lawyer, won most of my trial cases (even the ones that seemed hopeless because I did not give up), and started my own law firm. Now I live in Europe with my husband and baby and I'm trying to learn German, my 6th language. I am glad my mother let me quit those hobbies eventhough my father did not agree.

Answer 7

Forcing a child is a no win situation. I am going through the same thing with my 8-year old daughter. She use to enjoy the social interaction with many children because she is an only child. Now she is selective of where and who she wants to spend time with.

The expense of the ballet items is not as important as listening to her reasons for not going to ballet. Something must have upset her to not want to be away from her parents.

I always let my daughter know I will be there just around the corner because I will always keep her safe. Now she doesn't want to spend to much time with me, but rather with her selected friends and I am okay with that. Her confidence level has been up-ted a notch. : )

Answer 8

If she wanted to be in ballet in the first place, I would make her stick with it. It isn't "forcing her" per say--I would think it's more like making her finish what she started. Do you stay through the practices with her? Do you try to say around? This is important to be there for her because she may have separation anxiety. Sure, she's three but it's important for her to get out and DO something. Hopefully the instructor isn't too strict! I agree with your husband--EVERY THING we do as parents from day one can have an effect on our children later on down the road. If she can get away with it this time what makes you think she won't try to next time? Push her--stay with her--and support her. Best of Luck!

Answer 9

Make her go, just don't push her into doing it. Shes only 3, go with her and tell her that you want to see her be a big girl and be able to do this. Watch her and stay with her and eventually she wont need you there...I know it shoulds bad, but if she doesn't follow through with this it might affect her in the future. Are you going to not make her go when she crys and is upset her first day of school? Are you going to let her skip her freshman year of high school because she might get picked on for being a freshman. Are you going to let her drop out of college because she misses her mommy?? No, so don't let this experience be any different.

Answer 10

I would have her go one more time.. Next time go in there with her to her ballet lesson, sometimes I go sit/stand next to my 2 year old girl during her ballet lessons, it was nice when she let me do it but now my girl is now at the stage where she doesn't want the other girls to think shes "uncool" having her mom watching her, so i have to stand back in the waiting room where she can't see me.. LOL..

If it still doesn't go well and she is still unhappy get her into SOMETHING and see that she sticks with it.. even if its just daycare.. and even if she cries at daycare.. she can't stay home with mommy all of her life & she can't quit daycare or kindergarten just because she cries..