Who pays for dinner?

Question

I'm meeting this chatroom friend for dinner next friday. We are both women, just friends. We both agreed to meet, but I told her that Friday night is convenient for me... will I be paying because I set the date? Or is it ok to pay seperate? And how do I tell the waiter that we're paying seperate checks?
Thanks.

Answer 1

It isn't a matter of which one set the day for the meeting...it's HOW the invitation was extended.

If it was said, "Please, let me take you to dinner." then, obviously the one asking pays.

If it was said, "Join me for dinner," or "Meet me for dinner", it is implied the tab could be split. Back in the days of "proper etiquette", these things would never, ever be discussed at the table. Back then, when the tab arrived at the table, whomever picked it up first was the one who would pay.

Things such as this are much too casual now. Hardly anyone, except for me, thinks it rude for women to divvy up and haggle over who pays what. Matters of finance, in my opinion, are NOT public affairs. The small price of someone's dinner or coffee or desert, etc. is well worth it when it comes to keeping your dignity.

I would suggest that this issue be clarified between the two of you prior to the meeting. If you want to save the embarrassment of bringing it up, then be prepared to pay and inform the waiter or the maitre'd before you are seated that he/she is to give you the tab.

Most of all, enjoy meeting your new friend.

Answer 2

I would think you would each pay for your own since you are just friends. If this was a date, I'd say you pay due to the fact that it was your idea. The waiter will ask if you want seperate checks. There is nothing wrong with saying yes. Have a great time!

Answer 3

If you both agreed to meet, it doesn't matter who set the day. If this is your first time meeting this chatroom friend, I would go to a place that is inexpensive and split the bill. Just let her know ahead of time so that way there is no surprise. If it's someone who you already met, split the bill anyway since you guys are friends. If you can afford to pay for both of you, go ahead and pay. Your choice.

Answer 4

Ask for separate checks when you place your order. Most waiters ask anyway, but don't be afraid to speak up. Splitting a check doesn't usually work. The other person may order something more expensive or have more drinks.

Answer 5

It is common for people who meet casually for lunch to take care of their own checks unless one has invited the other for a particular occasion. Usually servers ask about the check unless it looks like a date. I would just say when asked that 'separate would be fine.' Just be casual and smile. I'm sure your friend is thinking the same thing.

Answer 6

I'd say go Dutch, thats usually what I do with my female
friends.If she insists you pay which is very rare, then I'd
probably pick up the tab this time. You might want to
establish that at the beginning. Actually that is a very
simple question unless you meet a very unusual person.
It maybe would have been best to establish that before
you met.

Answer 7

If she has any couth, she'll offer to pay her own way. However, if the restaurant doesn't split checks, I'd hope that you both pool in the right amount of money for dinner and tips.

I wouldn't expect a total stranger (man or woman) to pay my way upon first meeting.

Answer 8

Well, I think the person who set the date should pay. However, it she insists, then allow her to pay. By now means should u split the check.

Answer 9

yes sweetie i absolutely think its okay to pay seperate its called dutch just tell the waiter seperate checks

Answer 10

Ask person to wear something you can recognize.
Just for safety(never know who is on the internet).
you can if you want the first time (let the internet friend pay next if meet again).