how to tell him how i feel?

Question

well ya this guy whos my chemistry partner like is really into me and were like good friends and all. everytime isee somthing that reminds me of him or isee him i get this sick feeling in my stomach its not a good feeling. and i cant get myself to say how i feel cuz i cant stand hurting him so are thier any other ways to show him how i feel. whenever we do things i streess that were just friends so i dont know where he gets the idea i like him?

Answer 1

I'm not sure I agree with Steve. I trust you're mature enough to know when you like a guy. This is a tough situation for sure, and there's no easy way out of it. If you've been using the "just friends" line around him, you're on the right track, although you might be being a little passive.

As I see it, you have three options. You can tell the guy straight-up that you don't feel anything for him, you can bring a different guy (boyfriend) into the picture so that he gets the hint, or you can do nothing and let him keep fooling himself.

I don't recommend the third one, and based on the fact that you're asking this, I don't think you are for it either. It's a tough call between the other two. Personally, I respect a girl who will tell me what's up without any hinting. That's easier for me. But, I'm a pretty confident guy, and I don't take things like that personally.

If you feel like the guy is socially awkward or has low self-esteem, you might do more harm by talking it out than it's worth. In that case, I'd let him see you with another guy. Don't make a big deal about it--don't talk about how great the other guy is or let him see you making out w/ the guy or anything. It's not the ideal solution, but it's better than making him question if there's "something wrong" with himself if he's got low self-esteem.

Regardless, remember that his feelings for you are not your fault. It certainly sounds like you haven't done anything to encourage him, and that's good. It's cool that you're being so considerate with his feelings, but there's only so much you can do. I wouldn't sweat it too much; if you're too soft with him then either the message won't get through or he'll carry the rejection with him for longer than he needs to. Be understanding, but be firm.

Answer 2

If you are just friends you should be able to tell him that.

Maybe those sick feelings in your stomach are not that. Maybe you do like him more than you think. If he thinks you like him more its because you are sending him those signals that you do like him more than friends. I think that you might have a fear of having a great relationship with this person. You're afraid of letting go and also afraid that if it doesn't work out you will lose a good friend. That is why you keep saying, "We are just friends."

If your friendship is really a true friendship then it will hold up against anything. I suggest to you is to be completely honest with him and say to him that you would like to give a more deep relationship thing a try and if it doesn't work out then you still can be friends. Sometimes great friendships come out of failed relationships and it can work the other way too.