Teenage Pregnancy--Sympathy Please!?

Question

I don’t understand why everyone gives teenagers who are pregnant so much sympathy just because of the situation they put themselves in! What is up with that? I do not believe in stereotyping anyone--especially teenage mothers but why give them sympathy? I don’t care about anyone’s age, it seems to me people on here who are young mothers or are young and pregnant always put “I’m 16 and…” Why should we care how old they are to answer their questions? You don’t see some one write “Hi, I’m 32 and…” Are pregnant teens trying to get sympathy or attention because of their age? I think a lot of teenagers put a really bad reputation out there for themselves and others in the same situation---therefore creating and adding to stereotypes . What are your feelings on this?

I also should add--I was pregnant with my first at seventeen--I'm nineteen now--just for judgment's sake.

It's not about someone being a teen mother. I find nothing wrong with that. It's the fact that *some* teen mothers EXPECT to have people feeling sorry for them or EXPECT to get extra attentiona and like it. I would want the focus on MY CHILD and not on myself. Age is just a number--why include it?

I wasn't rude to the girl. I told her the honest truth. When you get pregnant it's not about you anymore (your age, your experience, etc...) she wanted it to be "all about her" and was self-absorbed. I was not rude but honest--which I feel are two different things.

As for babies having babies. I moved out of my home when I was 16. I had graduated. When I got pregnant I had a certificate in phlebotomy and a great beginning to an associates degree. I was married. I had a cooperate job. I had a husband. I was pretty much an average adult--with out the age. I've done so many things in my life it's not even funny and I'm so privileged to be able to do so. I've been all over the world and lived all but the past three years overseas. I'm lucky. I'm married and live a typical suburban lifestyle--my husband works I’m a stay at home mother not only to my child but for the child I’ve been caring for (living in my home all day and night) for the past two years.

I'm not a typically stereotyped teenage parent. I have never been on government assistance or needed/accepted help from my parents--call me stubborn but I refuse to do so.

The reason for writing my question is simply this--what is the relevance in including the fact of your age when you are asking a question about your child? What is the relevance of your age if you are asking something typical of all pregnancies? I don't see the point.

Answer 1

Yeah they are looking for sympathy or some sort of reaction out of people. Especially the once who are 12 , 13 or 14. Proves definitley how immature they really are. I wouldnt be advertising that Im 12 and pregnant.

Answer 2

To a certain extent .. age is not just a number .. especially in the sub 25 year old set.

When I hit 32 .. I was appalled about a radio announcer mentioning that Alexander the Great burned Persepolis at age15 and what did I do with my life? hum...

Well most of us cannot really take good care of ourselves until our mid-twenties. Our bodies have not stopped growing, we haven't finished school, society .. esp western .. does not consider us an adult.

I was fairly an adult by age 16 .. but still slightly clueless too .. better than some and worse than others.

I am so appalled at the carelessness of many young people who make truly bad decisions.

At 32 one supposedly has a better grip on reality and the world. By then many of us can feed ourselves.

And our society many of us know that that it is so easy to let fly with evil spew to make a young person feel terrible .. just a time when they need as much help as they can get.

Truly babies having babies .. of which I count YOU in that group of people too.

If you are the person who was mean to someone else - as one poster suggested - try and be kind and helpful.

After all, if the Fundamentalist Christians had their way, you and your child would be sterilized if you took any public aid and they would take the child way to be raised "proper"

we are so close to the story in "the handmaiden's tale" it is not funny.

Answer 3

Hmmm, this is a good question. Luckily I never got pregnant as a teen, so I can't answer this with any expertise, only with my opinion. I think maybe a bit of it is sympathy, but I think a lot of it is being terrified as well. At least a 32 year old is (possibly) married, or in a relationship with the father (who is hopefully going to be raising the child as well) and she's employed and probably at a good stage in her life. The teenager though hasn't finished school, doesn't have a decent career, and possibly won't or doesn't have a strong relationship with the father. I agree though that they don't necesarrily need sympathy, they did have sex...but I think that maybe they state their age to let people know where they are in life, that they don't have a lot of resources or support. Anyway, as I said I really have no idea as to the true answer, that's just my opinion.

Answer 4

Well, honey, the worst is yet to come. It's when they're older that it gets tough. Mine are 10 and 11 now. I was pregnant at 17 as well. Had my second at 18. Started college at 21. Got divorced at 22. Graduated at 25. It's a tough life. I don't think they are asking for sympathy per se but it is information that is pertinent, in the same way it would be pertinent to know that someone was 53 and pregnant. Maybe you're jealous because you're older and don't get the attention anymore? I agree they should take responsibility for their pregnancy but I think the very fact that they are still pregnant (i.e.- have not terminated their pregnancy) shows that.

Answer 5

I think a lot of young women include their age in these questions because they know it'll attract attention, and many people will find it shocking. But have you forgotten what it was like to be pregnant at seventeen? Weren't you scared? Didn't you feel alone? Don't you remember the thinly veiled disdain that people threw your way when they discovered you were pregnant? Being considered promiscuous? Any of those things?

I'm sure there are some young women who are just foolish and self-absorbed and are begging for attention. But for every one of them, I'll bet there's a decent, if misguided young woman who is scared and really needs advice. Try to remember what it was like to be in their shoes.

Answer 6

I think inexperience and a level of immaturity is the motive for stating their age first. Now, I was 32 with my first, I always thought it appropriate to mention that.
I understant about the sympathy; my feelings are more like apprehension, tho, for young moms. The challenges are tough to endure and overcome for any mom, single moms have more work to do, and being a teen puts more stress into the mix.
In many cultures, elders guide the youth, assist and protect, too. In the modern west, one really has to advocate for herself to get help - even then it may not be fully forthcoming.

Answer 7

there is no sense in not being empathetic. people are more likely to accept your help and advice if you can empathize.

also i think the age is important because it will indicate whether the person could be out of high school or college or be able to support themselves etc. most 15, 16 year olds still live with their parents, and i know the responsiblity for their baby often falls mostly on the parents. teens are too young to understand the responsibility of children that they (or often their parents) will face. so to me it makes a big difference. for example a 13-yr-old can't even drive themselves.

Answer 8

To be completely honest with you, I haven't seen many people on here that have given teens any type of sympathy unless they have been there themselves!! The majority of people on here completely AVOID there whole question and run them down about how old they are. The state their AGE because they want us to know where they are coming from. They aren't like older women whose bodies are fully developed and ready to carry. They may not know all the little tricks of the trade.....They want your UNDERSTANDING, not your damn sympathy!!! They want answers to their questions. Adding their age, is just in hope that you will see that Hey maybe they really don't KNOW.
I have respect for alot of teen moms out there who are giving it their all. And at least they ARE ON HERE ASKING FOR OUR HELP.....Not acting like they know everything as most people would often say about them. It shows that they aren't scared to ask when they don't know something. They wanna find out....Tell me what the f*ck is wrong with that????
I'm sorry if I sound rude, but, I doubt if we were face to face I would sound any nicer than this.

Answer 9

true enough pregnant teens may not deserve sympathy but you of all people should know the hormonal rollercoaster you are on when you're pregnant and for a teen girl who might not know all to make smart decisions this is extremely hard. im pregnant with my first child now and im 22 and sometimes i feel sad and abandoned and im a college graduate. any woman who is pregnant and unmarried should be treated with a little more concern and sympathy simply because she feels so many different things on her own.

and why are you so angry at the situation when you were in it? dont take out what was done or not done to you in your experience on everyone that has been pregnant as a teen or unmarried.

Answer 10

I remember you! You wrote that hateful message to that pregnant teen a few minutes ago!

Grow up and get a life. She was saying she was thirteen just as a helpful tid-bit. Women aren't meant to be having kids that young--when their bodies are still growing so much. Thus their tri-mesters don't always go as average as other womens' might. She was stating her age suggesting that that may be a reason for her prolonged pain, and wondering if that was so or not.


And if you don't like it because a women states her age, just ignore them! And, you're wrong, I hear people of all kinds say 'I'm 'x' years old and such and such' on here all the time.

Big deal?

Get a life and start loving people!

Peace.

Answer 11

little ones are stil very imature, and being pregnant and a young person is probable incredibly frightening, no longer that any unplanned being pregnant isn't, yet i in my view do no longer think of they have the life journey and adulthood to handle each and all the sentiments and emotions that contain the area, and seek for helpfrom the two older woman, or maybe some their very own age going interior the path of a similar ingredient. additionally, pregancy in little ones includes a somewhat larger danger of problems to the being pregnant, and realisticly, if i exchange into answering a query and that i knew that the guy exchange right into a youthful teen, i might probable choose my words and clarification diferantly than if i exchange into speaking to a 20-30 year previous woman.