i am 20 year old and my father is married for 23 years.. i am aware that he has a relationship going on for a long time.. i am really depressed to know that .. i really don know watto do.. he treats my mom badly .. he asks only money frm her.. he nevers hass money to spend on us.. i dint tell bout this to any one as i felt that it may lead to divorse or strain in my parents ralation ship.. pl tell me wat step to take???
2006-10-21 05:35:56 · 23 answers · asked by dreamer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just think about your mom , how much she loves you. she doesn't deserve this life, she deserves a much better life. it's better to be alone than being in an unsuccessful relationship. Their marriage is already over so don't be afraid of a broken rrelationship. just help your mother get out of a bad relationship . all the best !
2006-10-24 22:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by whatever 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being a grown up girl, you can gather courage to approach your father in private and ask him to stop the affair. Try to explain to him the fall out of the family in case mom comes to know of it. Be polite telling him to forget the woman for your mother. Play a better public relations manager between your father and mother and try finding what makes your mom pay your father and what makes your father ask money from your mother. Discourage both on this habit and try getting them socialise much bridging the gap. Involve both of them in decision making for instance what should be cooked for the night at home, what clothes should be bought for Diwali, crackers yes or no, sweets yes or not etc. You got a huge responsibility of uniting them rather than standing a mute testimony to dividing them. Keep promising to your dad that you would one day become a great person and make more money by finding a big employment etc. That would make your father keep more hopes on you and would keep him listening to you more. Privately keep the other woman off your dad by standing(not physically) between her and your dad. All the best.
2006-10-22 01:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by ECQC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, oh boy, I really hate this for you. Your father is not only hurting your mother but you too. I guess you could tell your father to stop or else you will tell your mother - then tell your mother if you have to....she really has a right to know. You know, marriage demands sacrifice-he should be putting you & your mom first- but he is putting himself first- and taking money away from the family like this is adding insult to injury. Your mom has every right to ask for a divorce & alimony...and to start her life over if that's what she wants..Your father has made some bad choices..too bad you'all have to suffer for then...but I hope you & mom can find the strengh to make something good come from this...I'm wishing the best for you ...ok?.... good luck..bye
2006-10-21 05:54:46 · answer #3 · answered by Danica Fan 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow. That is really tough. Does he know that you know? Do you know for sure? I really don't know if you should get involved in this. I know it makes you very angry and hurt. I would maybe suggest going to counselling so you can be free to vent to a neutral party and s/he could give you ideas on how to cope with this difficult situation.
At this point I think telling your mom is a bad idea, I think your dad needs to handle that. As much as you want to throttle your dad and blackmail him into telling your mom, I think its a bad idea too. You need to get a handle on your own feelings right now, and figure out what exactly is your role in dealing with this mess.
You are in a tough situation and I feel for you.
2006-10-21 05:53:54 · answer #4 · answered by Morley 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can communicate easily with your father, present the problem as if one of your friends is going thru that situation and ask your father for his opinion. This will bring the situation to his mind.
That's all you can do, since adults are responsible for their actions. Also, is your mother aware of your dad's affairs?
If she is, then she should make the decision of having him leave or ignoring the situation since your dad may be bored with the daily routine of dealing with your mother.
Is he physically abusive?
If yes, then he needs to be reported to the authorities.
Best of luck,
Don
2006-10-21 05:47:50 · answer #5 · answered by djvargas1255 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hei why r u still waiting for?? ha . if u have the guts just have a talk with ur father.tell him that keep quit . and see ur mother well other wise u have the option that break the second relation.
and at the same time "how u r mother will receive this " is the main matter. if u keep quit it will be a cheating for u r self.
2006-10-21 07:21:02 · answer #6 · answered by surya p 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This happened to my dad - my step mother was cheating on him. I told him and he didn't take head to it, or didn't believe me or something. 4 yrs later he found out for himself, asked her to stop and she wouldn't. They divorced.
You could let your mom know, but anything beyond that is up to her. I know it upsets you but you really can't do much. If it does lead to relationship strain, that was probably innevitable and the relationship was already strained to begin with if he is cheating. as far as divorce...more than likely. But can you blame her? Would you want to be betrayed and have to sleep in the same bed as someone who was stabbing you in the heart everyday?
I'm sorry you have to go through this, I know how hard it is, but it isn't your battle to fight.
2006-10-21 05:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by Amber 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are in a tough spot. You shouldn't have to make this decision. If you could approach your dad and let him know you are aware of his antics, what do you think would happen? Is your mother happy with this flawed relationship? Would she have a better life knowing this? Good luck with your decision.
2006-10-21 05:39:26 · answer #8 · answered by Jenyfer C 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like there already is strain in your parent's marriage. Don't you want better for your mom? Maybe this is just the thing she needs to leave his sorry a**!
2006-10-21 05:49:44 · answer #9 · answered by Pildi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Best for your mom is a divorce. She doesn't deserve to be played like that. How would you feel in your mom's situation?
If she gets a divorce, she could find someone that truely loves her.
2006-10-21 05:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋