How far is too far as a Christian couple who are not married or engaged. We have looked at 1 Corinthians and Song of Songs and had a few answers that related to an earlier question but a lot of them were assuming we were married. We plan to marry at some point - this relationship is long-term - but finances don't allow us at the moment. Sex is definitely not our reason to get married, but looking through the Bible, it seems unclear as to what is acceptable for couples who are not married but deeply in love. We are not animals and can control ourselves - this is not lust which we know is wrong we are just trying to find the line!
2006-10-21 04:51:06 · 36 answers · asked by h_a2gether 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Kissing is too far. Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear.
2006-10-21 04:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by Southern Apostolic 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
it really is a personal thing -- between the two of you -- but here's something to think about: your husband/wife to-be.
what are you reserving for that person? when it comes time for honesty with your spouse, are you going to be okay with saying, "yeah, i've done that before with a few other people, it's not that big of a deal", or actually, are *they* going to be okay with that?
sex is more than "being in love" and more than "self-control" -- it's not just another step of commitment. what you're reserving for your spouse is something truly amazing, and truly mysterious. it's on a different level, and that level isn't one to be on with just anyone.
if finances are the only thing holding you back, you should ask your families or friends for their blessing by chiping in a little. or, heck, if you want to spend loads of money on that one-day event, go to the justice of the peace now, save up some money, and throw a huge "We're Married!" party later on.
if G-d is calling the two of you together, he's not going to make it impossible for you to be so. getting married when you "have enough money" isn't what it's about anyway -- you're beginning something new together and learning how to manage finances as a couple is part of that. there are poor newlyweds all over the place -- and that doesn't mean they're ill-prepared for marriage!
2006-10-21 05:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by ickity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normal expressions of endearment which may include non intimate touching and kissing certainly isn't condemned in the Bible {read The Song Of Solomon}, but any sexual activity outside marriage is clearly out {1 Corinthians 6:9}
2006-10-21 06:52:08 · answer #3 · answered by I tell you whut! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but I just can't even see casual sex as being evil or against God in any way, maybe damaging, yeah, so one could argue that may (emphasis on may) be against God, but evil? And sex between two people in a long term committed relationship? Not a chance. I'm afraid I believe that the decision lies with you, not in the teachings of any religion, and if you are connected to any sort of spiritual entity, or are simply aware of your own conscience, and can follow it, you don't need an old book or a religion to show you "The Way". I'm hoping this is a question out of curiosity, although it saddens me thinking that two people deeply in love with each other seem to be suffering an unnecessary personal and emotional/spiritual turmoil. To quote an earlier answer, it's between you and your god, find your own answers, yeah you'll make mistakes, sure, but you'll learn, and that will bring you closer to your god than following some half translated misinterpreted ancient text ever will. You still believe in the notion of forgiveness I assume? Live your life as you see fit, and do what feels right, and if you mess up somewhere, you'll know, learn to forgive yourself, get over it, and move on. That doesn't sound like hedonism to me, nor the teachings of any demon or devil. Be good to yourself, be good to each other, share pleasures, enjoy each other, and be happy! Sex is fantastic, when you're so in love and you merge together, it's one of the closest things to spiritual ecstasy you'll experience on this planet! And isn't fornication a dirty word? Yuck. Even shagging sounds better than that. Sex isn't dirty, it's natural, unavoidable and fun. Have some and have some more! Good luck!
2006-10-21 08:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by punkrockdreadlock 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is there a World Series going on? Yuperhee, the baseball analogy works best; Nothing beyond First Base, a polite kiss, no agressive kissing and no groping - - - that is what most Evangelicals would argue. Lapsed Catholics and More Liberal types might say Second Base, agressive kissing & groping, but even they would say no way to Third Base or a Home Run. Personally, why not celebrate love rather than restrict it? But if you are truly a Modern Christian than sex is strictly for producing children and never for pleasure. You are suppose to find pleasure only in accepting Christ as your personal savior.
2016-05-22 07:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me spell it out for you:
Thus far and no more: brief (a few seconds) full-length embrace (not long enough for you to get an erection); light kiss on the cheeks (no wet, deep kiss). Anything more becomes petting which leads to heavy petting, which leads to penetration. And ALL of these makes up the sex act.
Generally, since your are not even engaged, don't do anything with her that cannot stand her father's scrutiny. If you were engaged, I would change the word "cheeks" above to "lips". You did say you were both committed Christians.
2006-10-21 05:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by flandargo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean finances won't allow you??? Don't you know your Father owns all the money in the world and if you need a few extra pennies all you have to do is ask?
Sexual activity should not be an issue between unmarried Christians.
2006-10-21 05:22:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bible is very sound on this......
Question: "What does the Bible say about sex before marriage / premarital sex?" This would be less than living together as living together is a sin without being married...........
God Bless
Answer: Along with all other kinds of sexual immorality, sex before marriage / premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes abstinence before marriage. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality, because they all involve having sex with someone you are not married to. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations that God approves of (Hebrews 13:4).
Sex before marriage has become so common for many reasons. Far too often we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing the “re-creation” aspect. Yes, sex is pleasurable. God designed it that way. He wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity (within the confines of marriage). However, the primary purpose of sex is not pleasure, but rather reproduction. God does not outlaw sex before marriage to rob us of pleasure, but to protect us from unwanted pregnancies and children born to parents who do not want them or are not prepared for them. Imagine how much better our world would be if God’s pattern for sex was followed: fewer sexually transmitted diseases, fewer un-wed mothers, fewer unwanted pregnancies, fewer abortions, etc. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and most importantly honors God.
2006-10-21 04:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by ChristianNanny 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how long you've been together, which I feel is
an important part of this answer. I will take it that you have been
together for sometime. You say you are neither married nor
engadged, so the question must be asked.. what sort of commitment have you to one another? Because God looks
into the hearts of men... and he knows what is in both of your
hearts, if your love is pure to each other, You have to follow your heart, with care. God did not ordain marrage, man did.
What God asks is that we love one another, faithfully, He made
men and women, he knows our feelings and weakness, he
also understands our emotions, God gave us the gift of love.
What we have not to do is be free with it, but committed to one
another. Hope this is helpful. In this day and age, a ring, or a
marriage certificate does not keep one's love pure, the heart does that, if we allow God to keep working through us..
God Bless I hope you solve your problem.. to this dilemma
2006-10-21 06:23:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All sexual activity is to be reserved for marriage. For an unmarried Christian couple, you should not be touching each other near any sexual areas, even when fully clothed. Affectionate foreplay should also be avoided; it only leads you in one direction. Try to limit yourself to just kissing, hugging, and holding hands. If you push your limits you are playing with fire.
2006-10-21 05:07:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fornication(sex before marriage) is forbidden in the bible. You are wise to follow it's counsel. Keep up the good work and conscious. You are headed the right way! Get married first.
2006-10-21 04:56:18 · answer #11 · answered by yakimablueyes 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋