Ok, i'll try to make this short. I am happily married with kids, work closely with this women (because of the type of job i have), who is about 15yrs older than me, I go out after work sometimes, my husband has NO issues with it. I've also recently become really good friends with this guy at work, NOTHING SEXUAL at all, just a good friend, whom my husband also knows about. Well yesterday at work I invited this guy to sit with us at lunch. About 2hrs later, still at work, this woman and I go out for a break, she completely went crazy on me, in front of alot of ppl too! Said she will NEVER sit with him and I again, I'm embarrassing myself, said she heard I was doing drugs..etc. Its was horrible and i have no idea where it came from. Now because of all the ppl around I'm afraid rumors are going to start. I did defend myself, but now how can I work with her? I am so mad and hurt. What is wrong with her????
2006-10-21 04:44:50 · 15 answers · asked by wer_l_idieh 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
As you say....you have to work closely with this women, so your situation is touchy at best.
It's been my experience that when something like this happens and you react adversely, it only perpetuates the problem. The person is usually looking for a reason to carry it on. Call it jealousy or whatever you want, but is sounds like she was just looking for a reason to start trouble. Keep your distance...since you work side by side, it will have to be emotionally. When she questions why you're "ignoring" her, simply tell her you prefer to keep your relationship on a "work only" basis. No further explanation is needed and tell her so when she presses you for more.
I would also recommend, if this continues, that you relay the incidents to your superior. It is called harassment if she persists after being asked to leave you alone.
2006-10-21 08:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by Rembrandt11 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds very strange. Firstly, you should for your own sake find out why she said those things and where she heard them, or why she thought them if they were her own thoughts. From the sounds of things, maybe she thought you two were an item - this did happen after the three of you sat together.
Secondly, if you are worried about rumours, ask a few people you are very familiar with if they've heard anything, and ask their own impressions on the matter. If someone has started the rumour, ask them about it.
If you find that kind of conversation difficult, then try a letter or e-mail. People tend to tell versions closer to the truth when not in any kind of debate. Find these people when they're alone so that you know that what they say isn't for the benefit of others.
If something malicious is going on, report it no matter the circumstances. You should be comfortable in your workplace and if people are deliberately making you feel just the opposite, it's grounds for their suspention, dismissal or discipline.
2006-10-21 11:51:03 · answer #2 · answered by davidbrookesuk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like a case of jealousy! Some how this woman see's your lunchtime meeting as her time and she feels threatened with your new relationship with this man. She may be secretly harboring (you know) feelings for you??? How crazy is that??? Anyway the folks that you work with should know you. Make sure that your behavior at work (words, actions, etc.) are always above board. Don't behave in a way to give any fuel to rumors. I would confront this woman and ask her where this outburst came from and that you have the right to have additional relationships at work. Be careful in case this is a weird fatal attraction some how???? Take Care
2006-10-21 12:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by kizkat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy
2006-10-21 17:34:46 · answer #4 · answered by nalaredneb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She,s jealous that your happly married any you now how to have me as just friends,she is not a real friend and i would not hang with her in work no more and just be all business like when you have to deal with her,show her,your a better person than her by not being *****,but don,t allow her to be your friend!If she asks you why you do not want to be friends with her with friends like you,I don,t need emenys!She,ll get the messages!Hollywood
2006-10-21 12:30:43 · answer #5 · answered by hollywood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is jealous because she probably likes the guy. When you say there is nothing sexual in your relationship that is hard to believe -- sorry. Anyway, you should spread horrible rumors about her. That will shut her up or maybe cause her to quit.
2006-10-21 11:57:08 · answer #6 · answered by crispyduckinsoy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it if you aren't doing anything wrong. Just ignore it and keep on working. You might be the gossip this week. Next week it will be someone else. Sounds like a typical workplace to me.
2006-10-21 16:29:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take he out to the parking lot and kick her ***.. who does she think she is talking to you like that especially at work.. if she has opinions she needs to keep them to herself.. that is your job and that is how u feed your kids, tell her to leave u alone or u will file a harassment charge against her at work, also don't feel hurt, she is stupid and maybe she is the one that is on drugs for freaking out on u like that! But that is just me.. and how I would handle it! good luck and stay away from the crazy B I T c H
2006-10-21 11:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by michelle b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's jealous of your relationship with your husband who shows trust in you. She's also jealous of your friends both male and female, I think she is a very lonely woman. I would try talking to her when she isn't so upset about everything, you'll probably find that her life is a very upsetting one.
2006-10-21 11:51:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you and this woman need to have a quiet chat. Get her alone and ask why she said those things, and assure her that they are not true. It needs to be done. After that, unless she has a very good explanation, I'd be nice to her, but not be her friend, she seems untrustworthy.
2006-10-21 11:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋