Morning, night, whenever. No consideration for my roommates or anyone. She'll come by before I'm about to leave for work and get mad because I want her to leave. She comes by unnanounced when just my roommates are at home and they wonder why she's acting so weird. What do I do?
2006-10-21 04:38:48 · 23 answers · asked by Arf 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell her that you love her and enjoy spending time with her, but that she needs to respect that you no longer live under her roof. Not only are her actions affecting you, but your roomates. If she'd like to come by and see you, then she needs to call and make sure you'll be home first. When she comes over right before you need to go to work, if she gets mad, tell her as gently as you can that if she had called first, you would have been able to tell her you had to work and she wouldn't have been disappointed. If you are an only child or the last of your siblings to move out, she may be experiencing empty nest syndrome and doesn't really realize the effect she's having on your life. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2006-10-21 04:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't really say how to handle this. First there is a few things that I need to know. I mean me being a mother too and all. I can try to see her point of view better. Are you a male or female? Are you an only child? How old are you? Are your roommates male or female? How many roommates do you have?
2006-10-21 05:29:54 · answer #2 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave her a note on the door saying "I'm not here right now" even if you are there. And if she want's to come in, make sure everything is quiet and lock the door. Then she'll want to come back later. Tell your roommates to tell her if your not there to come back another time.
2006-10-21 04:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by Vanessa<3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain, very gently but firmly in clear terms that the unannounced visiting must stop. Then, do not allow her entry when she comes by without calling. She'll scream like a stuck pig but she will also get the message. Right now, there are no penalties for violating your rules.
2006-10-21 04:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least your Mom comes to see you. My Mom and Dad have never visited me period at my apartment or house-whatever I was living in at the time. The only time they entered my home was when I first got moved in to a place and they came to see it because I asked them to over and over. They always expected me to come by their house every single day of the year. It really hurt me through the years that they never visited me. I would invite them to come over and eat and they would always have a excuse. Now, I have no parents at all to visit and I wish to God they was still alive for me to see and visit. Just sit down and talk to your Mom about her unannounced visits. Tell her in a nice way that it is bothering your roommates that she comes so much and especially unannounced. Tell her you are sorry but you don't have time in the mornings for her to visit when you have to be at work. She shouldn't do that anyway. That doesn't make sense to me. I think she is mainly checking up on all of you and seeing what all you are doing. Another words, being nosey. Just tell her in a nice way that she needs to quit coming by so much and to at least call before she comes over. Good luck.
2006-10-21 04:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a very hard thing to do when its family, especially a parent. This happened to me with my parents then I moved 2 provinces away and it still happens sometimes. I have just learned to accept it and tell them that if I had had notice that they were comming I could have made arrangements to have time for them. Also, I made sure they knew my schedule and what times I really didn't have time for anyone to drop by. I also made sure that I phoned them regulary and kept them in the loop so that they didn't feel they had to come by to see whats going on in my life.
2006-10-21 04:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by Carol W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be upfront with your mom. tell her that you are now an adult and that you live with other people and that she needs to respect theirs and your right to privacy. that from now on she needs to call before coming over. tell her she is beginning to create conflicts between you and your roommates. and also tell her that none of the other roommates friends or family come over unannounced and that they are asking for the same from you.
2006-10-21 04:46:37 · answer #7 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you an only child, maybe she is missing you and still feels the need to mother you, try to get her involved in other things, tell her you need your space, that your room mates are complaining about her, give her a time when she can meet you and make it clear that at other times you are not available.
2006-10-21 04:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and let her know she taught you to be considerate to others and her dropping by without calling first is interupting everyones schedules... your roommates may even up and move out because she drops in inannounced... I know when I have worked all day and I want to take a quick nap... the last thing I want is to have anyone dropping in with out calling... it is a rule around my place... everybody has to call before dropping by... friends, family, whatever... I might want to soak in the tub... don't want you dropping by... please call first!!!
Hope thid helps!!!
2006-10-21 04:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kindly explain to her that you need privacy now, and you love her, but, you need your own life. you could even set aside half an hour or so a day/every few days to talk on the phone or even visiting. tell her nicely, and if the problem persists, get a restraining order...lol good luck!
2006-10-21 04:41:56 · answer #10 · answered by aerie anna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋