My son and his girlfriend are having a baby in mid December, they live about 3 hours away from me. She is a very headstrong girl and has told me that she doesn't want any visitors at the hospital when she delivers. I think that is kind of crazy but ok, but yesterday she told me that if I intend to visit when she has their baby, I need to wait at least a month! I've never had problems with her so its not like I'm meddling in their business but ????? what to do??? My son won't stand up to her and she is making stupid little excuses for me not to be there. Her mother will be there for it all! What do you think?
2006-10-21 03:17:30 · 18 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I've tried to talk with my son about this but every time they call, she is on the phone. No alone time with him - ever! I confronted her yesterday about all this but not in a way that she would be defensive, that is when she came up with a bunch of excuses. She said ppl were giving her a hard time about all this, I told her that her mom and I are the grandma's and should be above the others, you know, be special, and she said well you are..... but then went back into the excuses. My son was not on the phone with us while this convo took place.
2006-10-21 03:27:27 · update #1
As for her not liking me, she acts like she likes me and emails me - so I don't get it!
2006-10-21 04:54:36 · update #2
sounds like she wears the pants in that family,,
you have to abide by what she says,, she sounds like a beotch,, or you can just go show up,
2006-10-21 03:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do try not to get your son too involved. She will think that you are trying to turn him on her. I would suggest talking to her mother about this. You will probably never be able to get through to her on this but if someone she trust is on your side you will have an advantage.
If this fails then i suggest you come on with some kind on visitation plan and run it by her. Let her know that you respect her wishes but would at least like to see the baby once a week just for short brief moments. If you want to be at the hospital ask her if you could just stop by the day after the baby is born. When talking to her make sure she knows that you understand that she is setting the ground rules and that you respect that. Hopefully this helps.
2006-10-21 03:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by James R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try your hardest to have a conversation with your son alone about this subject. I don't know what this girls problem is, but she definitely has a problem with you and other problems. She is a control freak and your son should stand up to her for your rights as being his Mother. But, my brother has never once in his 62 years ever stood up to his wife about anything. What she has always said is how it is--end of story. He does this partly because if he doesn't agree with every little thing she does or says, then she, their son & daughter get mad at him. But I think it is horrible the way he has let all of his family treat our Mom and me. Our Mom has passed away now, but she still acts like a jerk and I have nothing else to do with any of them. But back to you, if I was you, I would go to the hospital anyway when that baby is born whether she likes it or not. You are a Grandmother to be also and this is your son. Be there for him as well as your new Grandbaby. She needs some professional help sounds like to me because she is too controlling and your son needs to stand up for himself as well as his family. I will NEVER think there is any good reason for a son or a daughter to not stand up for what is right. Especially when it comes to parents. If you let her by with this and don't go for the birth, I truly think you will regret it and she will have more to talk about. She will probably say things about how you wasn't there for the birth and that you don't love your son or the baby. She is evil to a point. I guarantee you she will say these things if you don't go. I would stand up for #1 and that is you and I would go anyway. Forget about her and be there for your son and that baby. Good luck with all of it. Stand up for what is right and that is you being there.
2006-10-21 04:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go anyways...If she has a problem with it you simply say that if it werent for you she wouldnt even be having that baby. You are the grandma to. Be assertive about it. Take controll. Or better yet why dont you try to call her mom about it? Oh and to get your son out alone ask him to dinner and tell her that its a mother son thing and then later take her out by herslf and make it a mother daughter thing that way she wont feel left out.
2006-10-21 04:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by Skylar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she jsut doesnt like you...or it could just be hormones playign up n she is getting really really frustrated. Don't worry. Try and talk things over with her in a civillised manner, talking helps an awful lot. If it doesnt help then forget about it, she may calm down. At least you'll get to visit the baby sometime huh?
2006-10-21 04:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a stroppy little mare! At the end of the day the decision is your son's & his girlfriends but it sounds like she is very forceful and maybe your son doesn't get a word in edgeways.
Try bringing the subject up with your son alone and see if he can get her to change her mind.
I don't envy you having to put up with such a madam for a daughter-in-law!
2006-10-21 03:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Hope-Faith completely. My brother never stood up to his wife, still doesn't, and has paid for it for more than 20 years in the relationship with her abuse, etc. I think it is up to your son to stand up to his girlfriend NOW or she will continue to walk all over him, control him and the baby to no end, as well as you. It is up to a child to stand up for their parents or gf/bf/spouse, whichever one he thinks is right. But, his girlfriend is totally wrong in this situation, so he should stand up for you. If I were you, I would go to the hospital anyway. No matter what, you are the grandmother too and you deserve to be there as much as the other grandmother does. As for her, be extremely assertive, stand your ground with both of them (you know your son so you know what 'buttons to push'), and don't back down for anything about this one. When my stepdaughter had her kids, she wanted me and the rest of her family there, as well as her husbands family. She realizes that both sides of the family are important.
Good luck and I hope this works out. No matter what you do, keep your chin up, stand your ground, be assertive, and hopefully she will come around once the hormones calm down.
2006-10-21 07:06:59 · answer #7 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may seem a little bossy. But, she could just be doing this to protect their child. During the 1st month of life babies are very vulnerable to germs because their immune systems aren't fully developed yet, and she probably doesn't want to take any chances, she could just be trying to be a good Mom. New Moms are very protective.
2006-10-21 03:48:19 · answer #8 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's either afraid of you or! she doesn't like you! (The mother-in-law thing!) I think your son should be a little bit more assertive and lay the ground work for your future relations with her! If he is going to be weak like that then she'll walk all over him! And you!!!! Take care!
2006-10-21 03:26:21 · answer #9 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a most important person in the unborn child's life. Nothing can replace a loving grandmother. It sounds frustrating for you but for the child's sake keep trying to assume your place.
Good luck to you
2006-10-21 04:10:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont mean to insult your son but whas a matter wiv da bloke. tell him to stick up for his good ole mum just like you ran arond for him for god knows how many years. Mum's are salt of the earth and should never be unappreciated.
2006-10-21 03:46:38 · answer #11 · answered by resterrampant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋