Is smacking your child when they do something wrong right?

Answer 1

No it's abuse according to the Law. Much better to ground them or take something off them such as PS2 XBOX TV.

Answer 2

!. Half the time people smack the child has no idea what for - usually something vague like messing about or 'starting' (whatever that is).
2. If you have to smack, then you have lost the argument.
3. Do you really want to set the example that hitting someone is okay if they frighten you, do something you dislike, or won't do what you want them to?
4. What is left to do after smacking?
5. There is a law of diminishing returns here. They get used to it.
6. Some people make do with one slap, others think nothing of using belts, sticks, hitting round the head, or across the ears all of which is abuse.
7. Smacking is a lazy way of disciplining. It is often used by parents who do not understand the power of positive reinforcement and whose parenting style may be chaotic. This type of parent gives little explanation of the behaviour wanted and rarely stops to discover the reason behind the behaviour.
8. You are reinforcing the idea that the person who hits hardest is the one to obey, and the one who gets his way.

I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have hit my kids and I know I could have avoided each time, if I had the new positive parenting techniques I have since learned. Nor were the motives behind the smacking particularly laudable - fear, stress, and frustration. My kids have turned out fine. Ditto my older sister's kids who were never smacked.
My younger sister's kids were smacked regularly by her and her husband - both have got prison records because of involvement in drugs and the younger, bless her, is in a real mess. My sister is a firm supporter of smacking.

Answer 3

You've asked this question twice and I'm not sure where you prefer your answers, so I'll use it to my advantage and earn two extra points by answering it twice :oD

Ouch, this is a huge question and I don't believe it's black and white. Personally, I don't agree with smacking. This is probably because I was smacked as a child but I rarely understood why the thing that I'd got smacked for was so wrong - it was never discussed or explained clearly to me, without anger and condemnation. I do think that there are times when a *light* 'tap' on the hand is acceptable, PROVIDING the wrong act is explained, discussed, and negotiated if need be. Quite often, the child understanding that they have done something wrong, and thus receiving a 'light tap', can be adequate discipline - it's the act of that light tap, more than the pain (or lack of).

It seems that very often, parents whack/smack their child in anger - they take the child's misbehaviour as a personal criticism, and respond out of fear, anger, rage, rather than as loving discipline. The child will realise this, and receive it as rejection. They will modify their behaviour out of fear rather than love, and in extreme cases, will express the same violence - however mild - in unhealthy ways, either at others or at themselves.

Sorry if that's waffly; I know that long answers can be boring so I'm trying to be quick. Hope that helps your thinking, whatever you decide x

Answer 4

Here in africa the only way to discipline your kids is by smacking them. We do not negotiiate with our kids. I think though after several psychology classes that the best thing to do is to reserve heavy punishment like smacking for serious offenses. Don't smack a child cuz they didn't clean their room. Deprive them of tv instead or don't allow them to take part in some activity they really love. Smacking, for me, should be a last resort cuz I know myself well enough to realise that while smacking i may go haywire and pick something up and could end up hurting a child. So yes, it's right to smack a child if they've been really naughty but watch the extent to which the punishment gets. Also, you should always let them know why thier getting smacked. That way, they're less likely to do that thing again and when you see them doing the right thing...compliment them. When you do that, they know what is bad and what they should do instead of that naughty thing.

oh and one last thing... when you tell a child "you wait until your father comes home..." You're only telling the child that the person doing the punishment is to be feared. Mothers who do this put a fear of their husbands into the kids and also it tells the kids it's ok to run all over them. "Yeah go ahead and annoy mummy. Daddy will handle you later." this is what you're telling them. You're making it clear that it's ok to disobey you and teh punishment is delayed so even when dad does get home and whips them but good.... they don't even know why thiy're being punished. All they see is their father hitting them cuz he's mad.

Answer 5

On something like this you basically have to use your own judgment. I would not consider listening to someone that does not have any children or someone that has never raised a child. How in the hell would they know. I on the other hand have 5. I believe I tell the something at a small age 2 times maybe 3 after that it's time for a butt whooping. The older they got the less times I feel like I have to tell them. then maybe once or twice. This would be at the age of say 3 or 4. Anytime after that they understand just fine and I only need to tell you one time. Bye the time my kids made it to 4 and 5 they were all stair steps. Me and my husband would go out to eat, to the movies , to doctors and dentist appointments and would always get compliments on how good all 5 of our kids was to be so young. The more you work with them the less you'll have to do or say. My oldest is 21 years old now and is in the Air Force. When he comes home for the holidays it's like he never left cause now that he has kids they are being raised the same way he and his brothers and sister were. No dis respectfulness allowed, do what you are told. I didn't abuse any of my kids we just spank them on their butts, Spare the rod spoil the child. Which ever way you chose good luck.

Answer 6

The only thing smacking teaches a child is to fear the parent. You want your child to respect you not fear you.
I'm all for punishment that fits the crime, so if your child does something particularly bad, take away what he/she values most for 24hrs and if the behaviour continues... extend to another day. Also try asking or discussing the incident with your child. But in return for all that, you have to be equally quick to praise the good things aswell.

Answer 7

I would say it depends on how you were bought up and whether it worked for you. What I would say is that smacking should be used as the last resort and you should always explain to the child why you have smacked them. There is a big difference bewteen smacking and beating!!

Answer 8

I would not use the term smacking, but toddler age is when discipline should start I know a good spanking, in the young years of a child with set boundaries and teach respect. It teaches that there are rules and respect will be required.
I
My daughter is 13 now she is a well adjusted young lady, there is no need for physical punishment. As she was taught respect for herself and others. She is an A student, beautiful, and full of confidence.

Answer 9

I have a 2 yr old daughter & 10 month old twins, before the twins arrived if my daughter was naughty I'd slap her hand, not hard but hard enough for her to realise she'd done something wrong. I noticed shortly after the twins were mobile that if she did something wrong or they cried etc she'd smack them usually on the head so I stopped smacking her & if she is naughty now I point out to her what she has done wrong & use the naughty spot trick (supernanny) if it continues. She doesn't hit the twins anymore but she will occasionally push them if they get too close to her toys!

So in my case it proves that smacking only encourages children to hit, I suppose if we as parents hit them that makes it ok for them to do it aswell, they learn from us, no one else so I don't smack anymore!

Answer 10

I am old enough tohave brought three sons up to adulthood and would say that son no1 needed a smack to respond, no2 grounding was a favoured punishment and no3 only required a raised voice. Not all punishments work on all children, find the one that works with yours, but make sure the child knows why you are punishing them. NEVER SMACK A CHILD IN ANGER. I cannot stress that enough.

Answer 11

NO. All you're doing then is teaching them that bullying works. If that child then goes on to smack a smaller child (copying you) how would you feel? It tells them that if you don't agree with what someone says or does HIT THEM!
Punish the child instead.