okay here's the story, i love her but she goes out of her way to do things that i don't think is right. first she want's my child to call her mama and call me by my first name. then she started making these plans to just take my child on a vacation, i told her no cause she's really not able to be with my baby for a long time, she really can't hear or see well at all. when i tell her that she can't she tells me that she's going to take him anyway. i want her to be involved but still i don't need her to take over. and then she want's the baby to sleep in her room when i told her no that the baby can stay in the room with us she got mad. when she does this she call's everybody in the family and tells them these lies. it's really starting to put a strain on my relationship with my man cause it's his mom and i don't feel like she has the right to disrespect me. i really do want her to be around however i'm still mom and she needs to just be a grandparent.
2006-10-20 23:50:51 · 13 answers · asked by lady luck 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
At first, when I read your question without knowing the story, I thought a nice heart to heart talk would do the trick. She probably wants to be helpful but, lady, it sounds like a nut case. That grandmaw has some kind of pathological obsession with your baby. I don't know how but you have to convince your husband to take his mom to therapy. You don't mention her age nor your child's; it could be a phase she will get over soon. Is it her first grandchild? If so, she could be around until the stork visits another son or daughter. It seems like a harmless situation but it can harm the whole family situation.
First, talk to your man and then with the rest of the family. Hope that they will be receptive and willing to help. I agree with you: everyone has to play their role. A grandparent can assume a parent's role only if parents are missing. Good luck!
2006-10-21 00:20:08 · answer #1 · answered by latinoldie 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Interfering Grandparents
2016-11-15 09:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation sounds so familar to me. My mother in law was the same way to me. I tried at first to not let it bother me but it just kept getting worse. So, what I did was, I told her that these children are mine and that she had already raised hers, and that if I needed advise I would come to her. This did not work until I really put my foot down. If they want to be grandparents thats what they should be, it does not mean that they can take control and do everything. Good luck to you. I moved 100 miles away from mine. So I now only see her when I want or if she decides to see her grandchildren.
2006-10-21 06:49:26 · answer #3 · answered by nancy m 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OMG Take my advise....TAKE YOUR CHILD AND MOVE AS FAR AWAY FROM GRANDMA AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! I too have one of these "lunatic grannies" I've moved away, far away to NEVER speak to them again, and her crazy A*S*S* even went through the CAR dealer to track me down! the funny thing was, I even called the car dealer and told them DO NOT RELEASE ANY INFO ABOUT ME TO ANYONE! knowing that she was just loony enough to do some crap like that! well, they gave her my new address, and soon the letters started coming, then she "showed up" on my doorstep! I don't care what ANYONE say's to you, (like OMG YOU are SO MEAN!) that is your grandma! they OBVIOSLY don't have the problems you do! I FEEL YOU PAIN, but really, I don't care how, or what you have to do....Go as FAR away as you can and DO NOT leave a forwarding address,(not even with the car dealer) GOD will forgive you! He knows how she is.. My thoughts are with you, GOOD LUCK! (sorry, I got upset after reading the first part, I thought it was your GRANDMA, but still, TAKE MY ADVICE take your child and RUN!
2006-10-21 01:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by conniechung 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well as a grandmother myself, let me say this, your mother in law is meaning well, but she is going over the boundries. Let her know that you love her, but you are the mother and you are gonna be the one who makes the decisions on what your child does, not her. Let her know that you appreciate her help and advice, but you know what is best for your child. If you are living with her [sounds like it] then I strongly suggest if possible to get your own place as soon as you can. Stay positive, but hold your ground, you have every right to make the decisions for your baby. Good luck to ya!
2006-10-21 00:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your child is yours and you set the rules. Lay down the law with her. She might get her nose bent out of joint over it but thats her problem not yours. Raise your child as you see fit and if she cant follow the rules then she will have to learn to stay away.
2006-10-21 05:32:08 · answer #6 · answered by eric s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get a life and if i were you i would tell your man to put her straight. You are mama. She is nanna. If he wont you do it. But he is the one who should be dealing with her. Stick up for your rights honey, you are so right to be angry about this. She is over stepping the boundaries on purpose and it is not right.
2006-10-21 00:01:42 · answer #7 · answered by alilovespete 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, i might want to initiate documenting her threats to kidnap your baby, so as that in the terrible probability she does, you've gotten something to flow to the police with. also, what's the take care of her wanting the baby to sleep in her room, are you residing consisting of her? if so, flow out already! If she is residing with you, kick her to the lower! you want to set the floor regulations about her being round your baby now, so as that once you've yet another one down the line, you received't have this subject back, solid success.
2016-12-05 01:48:21 · answer #8 · answered by thorpe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here comes trouble. tell him, the daddy, that he needs to speak with his mom about this. she is using your child to manipulate you and if you guys don't put a stop to this now, your child will be caught in the middle forever. good luck.
2006-10-22 04:44:25 · answer #9 · answered by kajunprincezz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid the only way is to be direct and straight forward and tell her exactly how you feel.
Tell her you set the rules for your child and she is welcome to add something but only if you agree with it.
If she doesn't like then either you or her must leave because it's not worth all the unhappiness you have and it will rub off on your child.
Your husband must know how you feel too regardless of the fact that she is his mother.
He would surely agree with you and perhaps his mother would listen to him if not you.
2006-10-20 23:59:34 · answer #10 · answered by slipper 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋