my dad dotes on his gurls esp first one(1 yr my senior) her husband is obnoxious and his family keeps picking on me ..i have almost stabbed him twice..just abt stopped myself..dad keeps a stupid foolish smile as the guy goes abt his business..we r indians ..so plz advice accordingly...i have left home and am paying a massive rent..my wife blames me for giving up in to the bastard
2006-10-20 23:39:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like this has become a full blown issue, my friend. Obviously, you can't go home or eventually you are going to stab someone. That would be bad.
So you really have no choice on where you are going to live. Everyone is going to have to adjust to that. It is for the health and safety of the brother in law and will keep you from committing murder.
You cannot manipulate other people's behavior. However, you may be able to influence it. When you speak with your family, speak with respect. Respond to what they are saying, do not react. Take a breath, think of what you want to say, and say it calmly and respectfully. You are teaching Respect. If someone speaks to you disrespectfully you can say, " I don't speak to you like that......Why would you speak to me like that?"
And they have to think. Teach Respect.
Your wife either supports her husbands decision or not. Explain the situation to her. Ask her to stand by you. Explain that now, you two can have your own life, alone. Let her know how much you need for her to Trust you on this. If she's really stubborn you may have to date her. Why don't you take her to dinner at your place?
Hon, either find a way to pay the rent or find lesser rent. You really don't have another soulution. You could write to your landlord and ask him to help you out on the price you pay.
You 've made responsible, wise decisions. You have taken a step toward independence. You are becoming a man. Teach Respect. Ask for your lady's Trust. Advise your self as you would your own dearest friend, and follow through. Gently teach your family about this independent young man you are becoming. Breathe, accept the place in Life where you are for now, and be the Teacher.
2006-10-21 02:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are advantages to being on one's own. First , you will now be trained to make wise decisions on your own. You will then know exactly the needs of your own family members. Your own family members will now have their privacy. When you are home, you will be at peace, ( no brawls or enduring obnoxious behaviour from a brother in law). These are the advantages of being independent. The only disadvantage that i can see is what you mentioned - you have to spent for your house rent. However, this disadvantage could be easily remedied, if you are willing to work hard for it. You can start a small business at home (by your wife, selling sweet goodies, selling small grocery items, etc.) or you can get a sideline job.
You can not be forever dependent on your dad. There will come a time that you have to became independent , so why not start it earlier - now.
If i were you, i would rather be away from your father's place and remedy rent money, than stay in it and don't have peace of mind because of the insults of some people i live with.
2006-10-20 23:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing leaving. I would question if your wife would rather you be in jail for trying to knife the guy? It's best to keep your distance when you can. I am not familiar with Indian culture in regards to family obligations but I'd stay away from him completely if I could and if possible can you get a second job to help with your financial strains?
2006-10-20 23:47:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i might say some thing for quite a few motives. definite, your toddler merits to correctly known and if one days she asks you who her dad is, will you quite proceed to lie? you will not in basic terms be mendacity on your toddler yet your loved ones too. And yet one greater reason, if it replaced into your husband that sleep inclusive of your sister and conceived a toddler, would not you opt for to correctly known? Your sister merits to have a husband which will take his vows heavily and proceed to be honest to her throughout the time of their existence jointly. it is not honest on your toddler or your sister to proceed mendacity to them. Your brother in regulation desires to take duty for his movements, as do you. do no longer permit you youngster commence it is existence in a information superhighway of lies...
2016-10-02 12:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think as indians ur sister is not meant to speak back to her husband (but not sure) if not approach ur sister and tell her how u feel maybe she can pull the jerk aside and tell him to grow up. but dont lose ur cool as ur going to lose out remember the saying keep ur friends close but ur enimes closer if u dont u could lose ur sister than u cant look out for her. good luck
2006-10-20 23:49:36 · answer #5 · answered by mrs nevz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be yourself and think and reslove what you want to be , a stupit brother in law or self respecting person. However first try to understand, they are really creating problem for you are you are over reacting
2006-10-20 23:44:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
andTreat him the same way he treats you. YOUR RACE SHOULD NOT COME INTO IT. Just remember he is the immigrant you are true people of the land
2006-10-20 23:48:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move as far away as possible.
2006-10-20 23:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Meeto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋