1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab o f asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).. a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
2006-10-20 23:38:10 · 14 answers · asked by Scythe 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
At least ten of these made me laugh! You should take up gag-writing as a profession, seriously!
2006-10-20 23:44:18 · answer #1 · answered by Bart S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
thumbs up to 7
2006-10-20 23:40:37 · answer #2 · answered by Pd 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clever!
2006-10-20 23:54:43 · answer #3 · answered by Dawnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love 19 and all the rest of them
2006-10-21 10:27:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahahahahaha
awsome!! heres one...This is an example of Confusion, a hungry baby in a topless bar.
2006-10-20 23:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by Perfectly Flawed 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've got have been given heard a comedian tale like the 1st one. A kindergarten instructor brings in categories of meat to tutor her form. She gave a chew of pink meat to Janie and asks "What animal is this, Janie?" Janie spoke lower back, "Cow." She gave a chew of turkey to Kenny. What animal is this, Kenny?" Kenny spoke lower back, "Turkey." She gave a chew of venison to Robby. "What animal is this, Robby?" He ought to now no longer determine it out. "i will grant you a sprint. that's what your mommy calls your father jointly as he gets living domicile from artwork." Johnny yelled out from the decrease back of the room, "For Christ's sake, Robby, spit it out! that's asshole!"
2016-11-24 20:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by saragosa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA HA LOL!!!
LOVED IT>>>MADE ME LAUGH!!!
I really say you should get a 10/10, and ur lucky im giving it to ya.
HA HA!!!
JUZ KIDDING!!!
YOU REALLY DESERVE IT FOR SUCH AN AWESOME JOKE!!
2006-10-20 23:47:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehhehehee they are really funny!!!!
makes me feel a little better even though what is happening to me makes me wana throw up!! sorry u didnt need to know
but yeh thanks for the laughs!
2006-10-21 10:50:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Answer is LOL
2006-10-20 23:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by CeeStyle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cute, real cute, and some I'd never even heard before. Thanks for the laughs.
2006-10-20 23:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋