2006-10-20 23:28:12 · 25 answers · asked by lozzi_pop22 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
here u go.JOKES GALORE!!!!=)
Your Mom is so fat she sells shade in the summer.
Your mom is so fat that her muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.
Your Mom is so fat when she get a cut she bleeds milkshakes
Your Mom is so fat she walked by the tv and i missed three episodes.
Your Mom is so fat, she whistles bass.
Your Mom is so fat, she's the only one at the beach that gets a tan.
Your Mom is so fat she pays taxes in three different countries!
Your Mom is so fat when she wears a green dress she looks like a pool table.
Your Mom is so fat she could sell her shade.
Your Mom is so fat that you couldn't store her on a 4000 hexabite hardrive!
Your Mom is so fat that her wedding picture was printed by Hagstrom.....in a three-volume atlas.
Your Mom is so fat she has a homeless family living under her
Your Mom is so fat, she has a lifeguard for her cereal bowl.
Your Mom is so fat she violates 17 different zoning laws
Your Mom is so fat she can seat a family of six
Your Mom is so fat she can walk around the world in three steps
Your Mom's butt checks are so fat they look like two pigs fighting over a milkdud.
Your Mom is so fat she was overthrown by a small militia, she's now know as The Republic of Your Mom
Your Mom is so fat she is the same height lying down as she is standing up.
Your Mom is so fat she had a dream of marshmellows and when she woke up her pillows were gone.
Your Mom is so fat, when she went to the top of the St. Louis Arch it turned into a McDonald's sign.
Your Mom is so fat when she plays hop scotch she goes B.C, Edmonton,Toronto, Qubec.......
Your Mom is so fat that the local restaurant says maximum occupancy 45 people or your mom
Your Mom is so fat, after sex she smokes a ham.
Your Mom's so fat were in her right now.
Your mom is so fat, the only time she sees 90210 is when she steps on the scale.
Your Mom is so fat she bungie-jumped and went straight to hell!
Your Mom is so fat that she has to wake up in sections.
Your Mom is so fat, she blocked all the light out in plato's cave.
Your Mom's so fat the only time she saw 90210 is when she stepped on the scale.
Your Mom's so fat, when she rolls over in bed she burns her *** on the light bulb.
Your Mom is so fat she when she hauls *** she has to make two trips.
Your Mom is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Your mom is so fat she sat in the back of a bus and made it ride wheelies.
Your Mom is so fat, she gets in the bathtub and the neighbors' toilets overflow.
Your Mom's so fat she has to iron her clothes in the drive way.
Your Mom's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Your Mom's so fat she has to use a parachute for a dress.
Your Mom's so fat she has to put a belt on with a boomerang.
Your Mom's so fat, every time she turns, its her birthday.
Your Mom's so fat, that after we finished having sex, I rolled over twice, and I was still on the *****!
Your Mom's so fat, if she wears a green a white sweater, she looks like a football field.
Your Mom's so fat, when i get on top of her i burn my *** on the light bulb.
Your Mom's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Your Mom's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Your Mom's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Your Mom's so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Your Mom's so fat you have to roll her *** in flour and look for the wet spot to f**k her!
Your Mom's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Your Mom's so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Your Mom's so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Your Mom's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Your Mom's so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Your Mom's so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side!
Your Mom's so fat she wakes up in sections!
Your Mom's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Your Mom's so fat she's got her own area code!
Your Mom's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Your Mom's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Your Mom's so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Your Mom's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Your Mom's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Your Mom's so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Your Mom's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Your Mom's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Your Mom's so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Your Mom's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Your Mom's so fat people jog around her for exercise
Your Mom's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Your Mom's so fat when she back up she beep.
Your Mom's so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Your Mom's so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Your Mom's so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Your Mom's so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Your Mom's so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Your Mom's so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Your Mom's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Your Mom's so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Your Mom's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Your Mom's so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Your Mom's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Your Mom's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Your Mom's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Your Mom's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Your Mom's so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Your Mom's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Your Mom's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Your Mom's so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Your Mom's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Your Mom's so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Your Mom's so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Your Mom's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Your Mom's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Your Mom's so fat it takes her two trips to haul ***
Your Mom's so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Your Mom's so fat when the ***** goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Your Mom's so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Your Mom's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Your Mom's so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Your Mom's so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Your Mom's so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Your Mom's so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Your Mom's so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Your Mom's so fat she stands in two time zones.
Your Mom's so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Your Mom's so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Your Mom's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Your Mom's so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Your Mom's so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Your Mom's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Your Mom's so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Your Mom's so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Your Mom's so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Your Mom's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Your Mom's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Your Mom's so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Your Mom's so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
Your Mom's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Your Mom's so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Your Mom's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Your Mom's so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Your Mom's so fat that when she hauls ***, she has to make two trips!
Your Mom's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Your Mom's so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Your Mom's so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Your Mom's so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Your Mom's so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Your Mom's so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Your Mom's so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Your Mom's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Your Mom's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
Your Mom's so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Your Mom's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Your Mom's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Your Mom's so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Your Mom's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Your Mom's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Your Mom's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Your Mom's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Your Mom's so fat she influences the tides.
Your Mom's so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Your Mom's so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Your Mom's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Your Mom's so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Your Mom's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Your Mom's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Your Mom's so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway!
Your Mom Jokes
Your Mamma Is So Ugly Jokes
Your Mamma is so ugly her nickname is hairy pooter
Your Mamma is so ugly she uses a line of makeup called "Why Bother"
Your Mamma is so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh!t out of the toilet.
Your Mamma is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank she didnt have to wear a mask, she just walked up and said "Put the money in the bag"
Your Mamma is so ugly she shaves her pits with a lawn mower
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Yo Mama's So Fat Jokes 10
Your mama's so fat she had to iron her clothes on the 405 freeway!!!!!
Your momma is so fat, she uses a toilet brush to clean out her belly button!
Yo momma's so fat She can't even fit in the chat room.
Yo momma's so fat She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo momma's so fat All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"
Yo momma's so fat When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo mamma is so fat she takes showers at carwashes
Yo momma is so stupid when she hears thunder she thinks someone is making popcorn
Yo Mam's So Fat, She Went To Sizzler and the ***** Got A group Discount
Your mommas so fat she has to use hula hoops to hold up her socks
Yo mamas so fat after sex she rolles over and smokes a ham
Yo mama so fat when she died they didn't use a casket they used a mansion.
Yo momma so fat i put a quarter in her mouth and pushed her belly button and milk dudes fill out of her ***
Yo mamma's got so many rolls she puts Brumby's out a business
Your momas so fat that when she got into an elevator the doors couldn't close!!
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Your Momma Jokes 3
Yo mama's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued!
Yo mama's so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama's so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
Yo mama's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama's so fat she uses entire trees to pick her teeth!
Yo mama's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles!
Yo mama's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl!
Yo mama's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"!
Yo mama's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama's so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks!
Yo mama's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Car!
Yo mama's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!
Yo mama's so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!
Yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama's so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama's so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs!
Yo mama's so fat she cant reach her back pocket!
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Yo Momma's So Smelly
Your momma's so smelly even sewer rats get out of her way.
Your momma's so smelly that the only dis I'm gonna give her is Disinfectent...
Your momma's so smelly even dogs dont smell her.
Your momma's so smelly she wiz playin in my Sand Box and the cat came along and buried her.
Your momma's so smelly she made Right Guard go left.
Your momma's so Smelly her poops glad to escape.
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Yo Mama's So Fat Jokes 3
Yo Mama's so fat slap her on the stomach and you can ride the waves
Yo Mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it say's I want your weight not your phone number
Yo Mama's so fat, she's the reason they invented double doors
Yo Mama's so fat she uses I-95 as a slip and slide.
Yo Mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles
Yo Mama's so fat when she wore high heels she struck oil
Yo Mama's so fat she needs a lifeguard for her ceareal bowl
Yo Mama's so fat it took three years for her to get liposuction
Yo Mama's so fat she uses buoys for ear plugs
Yo Mama's so fat she killed the dinosaurs
Yo Mama's so fat she cant jump to conclusions
Yo Mama's so fat she uses windex for face cleaner
Yo Mama's so fat her genes dont fit her
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Yo Mama's So Dumb
Yo Mama's so dumb i told her Christmas was around the corner, and she went lookin'.
Yo Mama's so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone.
Your Mama's so dumb that she got smacked by a statue.
Yo Mama's so dumb she got locked in a toilet and pissed herself.
Yo Mama's so dumb , I told her she lost her mind, and she started looking for it.
Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk.
Yo Mama's so dumb she got hit by a parked car.
Yo Mama's so dumb when she went to a football game she thought the quarter back was a refund!
Yo Mama's so dumb she stole a free sample.
Yo Mama's so dumb she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.
Yo Mama's so dumb she waited all day at a stop sign.
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Yo Mamma's So Stupid Jokes
Yo Mamma's so stupid she got locked in publix and starved to death.
Yo Mamma's so stupid she blinked and got lost
Yo Mamma's so stupid that she got run over by a parked car.
Yo Mamma's so stupid she blinked and got lost
Yo Mamma's so stupid that when I told her we needed gas for the car, she farted at the gas tank!
Yo Mamma's so stupid that when she goes to a movie theatre and saw under 18 not admitted, she went home and got 17 of her friends.
Yo Mamma's so stupid she stayed in the grocery store for one day looking at a can of orange juice just because it said concentrate.
Yo Mamma's so stupid she went to an antique store and said what's new
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Your Momma Jokes 2
Yo mama's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up!
Yo mama's so fat people jog around her for exercise!
Yo mama's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!
Yo mama's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors!
Yo mama's so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world!
Yo mama's so fat she lays on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy!
Yo mama's so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller!
Yo mama's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets!
Yo mama's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave., she landed on 12th!
Yo mama's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too!
Yo mama's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"!
Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please"!
Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it!
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Your Momma Jokes 5
Yo mama's so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama's so old she flicked the switch when god said let there be light!
Yo mama's so old that when she was in school there was no history class!
Yo mama's so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!
Yo mama's so old her birth certificate says expired on it!
Yo mama's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince!
Yo mama's so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper!
Yo mama's so old she ran track with dinosaurs!
Yo mama's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals!
Yo mama's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook!
Yo mama's so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade!
Yo mama's so stupid when she saw the under 17 not admitted sign, she went home and got 16 friends!
Yo mama's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
Yo mama's so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama's so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama's so stupid that she sold the car for gas money!
Yo mama's so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911?"!
Yo mama's so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
Yo mama's so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."!
Yo mama's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out!
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Yo Mama's So Fat Jokes 1
Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager
Yo Momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo
Yo momma's so fat her cerial bowl comes with a lifeguard
Yo momma so fat when she walks past window we lose four days of sun light
Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at sea world
Your momma's so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep tryin to get back up again
Your mammas so fat and stupid, when it was raining she used the freeway for a slip and slide
Yo momma's so fat that when the whales saw her they started singing "we are family"
Yo momma is so fat when she goes to a restaurant she has to be greased in and out of the boothes
Yo mamma's so fat she was attacked by japenese mlitary, they thought she was godzillas wife.
Yo mamma's so fat when she went on school feild trips the school had to raise fund to feed her.
Your momma's so fat she makes free willy look like a goldfish
Yo mama is so fat when I layed back on her stomach i rolled twce and I was still in the middle
Now hows tht 4 SOME?=P
2006-10-22 01:10:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-01-22 15:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo momma jokes:
Yo momma is so fat she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat.
She's on both sides of the family
Every time she walks in high heels,she strikes oil.
She uses her mattress as a tampon.
Even her clothes have stretch marks.
Her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
When she bends over,we lose an hour of daylight.
When she went to the movies,she sat next to everyone.
She puts lipstick on with a paint roller.
When she gets in an elevator,it has to go down.
She had to have her ears pierced with a harpoon.
When she sits in front of the Holywood sign,you can only see the H and the D.
She had to go to Sea World to get baptised.
People jog around her for exercise.
Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
2006-10-21 00:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by the gunners 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yo Momma Is So Fat when she goes to the cinema she doesn't have to fight to sit next to everybody
yo mamma is so fat she went to a restaurant looked at the menu and said ok
2006-10-28 01:03:35 · answer #4 · answered by Sexy_Jess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The italian police are noted for their stupidity, here's an
example. A fresh recruit reports to his sergeant in a
rural town. Not knowing what job to give the recruit the
sergeant finally came up with an answer, he could get
the newspapers for him. After a few days, the recruit
tired of climbing the hill to get the papers
got to thinking, maybe if he bought 7 days papers he
would only have to walk once. On the third day, the
sergeant suddenly exclaimed. "Who says we Italian
Police stupid, this driver is more stupid, he hit the same tree 3 days in a row."
2006-10-27 03:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by CAPTAIN BEAR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yo mommas so dumb she got hit by a parked car
yo mommas so fat when she goes to the movies she gets a group discount
2006-10-26 09:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by strigoi12003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo momma's so fat, when her alarm goes off people think she's reversing.
Yo momma's so fat, when she sunbathes at the beach, GreenPeace try to roll her back into the water.
Yo momma's so fat she has to iron her knickers in the driveway.
2006-10-21 00:04:32 · answer #7 · answered by Well, said Alberto 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1. Yo momma so stupid she climed up a glass wall to see the other side
2. Yo momma so fat she jumped into the ocean and all the wales sang "we are family, even though your bigger than we!!!"
2006-10-21 02:05:18 · answer #8 · answered by Darby K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yo mommas so fat she has stretch marks on her fingers
2006-10-25 03:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by crinklechip 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You turd-like anarchistic cerebrally-challenged puke-including smelly-crotched bumwipe!!!!
Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.
Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
2006-10-21 23:29:22 · answer #10 · answered by Mr Stick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a concert she stands next to everybody!!!!
2006-10-23 10:40:14 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋