my boyfreind is a great person and we love each other as well it's been a year since we knew each other,while working together, but we are involved just 2 mnths over,now my bf is serious abt settling but says he's not sure if he can keep me happy coz we are of diff religions,my family n lifestyle are way better off than his .he does'nt want me hurt later on in case we're married and things don't turn out for the better though he'sdoing his best to get there,but says it will take a few years.he's even changed jobs to start off with,.Should i take the risk of losing my family and lifestyle and stand by him or chicken out and play safe .i already regret asking myself this coz i love him.,but what abt practicality he's asked me to decide,coz he's serious abt this.
2006-10-20 21:15:37 · 5 answers · asked by icequeen3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he is making excuses why it WON'T work than he isn't ready what ever the situation. If his heart was in it, He would be making excuses why it WOULD work despite your differences.
2006-10-20 21:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by Al 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you really lose your family if you were with your boyfriend? Or do you just mean you would lose the lifestyle you have by living with them? If you are talking about living together and are afraid things will be tight financially for a while, then you could wait a while longer to live together. If your family is well off, would they still be willing to help you out?
As far as the religion, how far about are the religions. The only problem I have seen is if people do not respect each others religion. If you both do that, everything should be OK. I used to go to my husband's parent's church with them on special occasions, even though I was another religion. He also did the same for me. You do need to decide about religion before (and if) you decided to have children together. Many children are raised in two religions and they can decide when they are older which religion they wish to practice.
If you truly love each other (and it sounds as if you do) then the money and religion won't really matter.
I spend many happy years with man. We were different religions and are families were totally different from each other. It worked out fine. Things did get tense when we were struggling financially, but we got over that fairly quickly.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-21 04:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get engaged first that way your families have time to get used to the idea of it, as for the religions you can work that out. As for the chance of losing your family for him only you can make that choice but if you really love him and you parents want to see your happy for the rest of you life they will come around the only way they won't is if he is abusing you because if it was my daughter or son the persons they were with has to prove that they will make them happy and not abuse them in anyway shape or form because if they do they have to deal with me. Good luck and sit down talk to your parents and tell them how you feel and if they want you to be happy they will listen unless they are really old fashion they you need real help
2006-10-21 04:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by krazy4_coke2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Icequeen;
This man you love has he done the best he can to make you happy? Does he love you as much as you love him? Has he ever said anything to beliittle you or done anything to make you feel bad about yourself? Better yet has he ever promised things that are way beyond his means to make you happy? Has he shown any signs of a bad temper that would make you believe that later in life he might hurt you?
If the answer is no to all of these questions then dig out the hairdyer and dethaw yourself.
All the money and worldly goods can never make you happy but, a partner in life can.
I'm guessing one or the other of you are catholic and the other is protestant. It's a battle but, I think you both believe in the same God. God is the one with the answer for you. If you want my opinion though. The religion problem is easily solved. Sit down with him and pray about the strength , faith but most especially love. You should both open your bible and read I corinthians 13, If your bible says charity/ change that word to love. Charity translates to love. Remember to ask that God's will be done not mine. He always answers our prayers and he is the great advisor. In fact in God is the only place you can solve your religious problems! Turn it over to God and then leave it with him. You only need the faith of a mustard seed!
I would like to say though you should never marry for money or be unhappy because you don't have money! God will supply all your needs. Sounds to me like you two need to stop and evaluate your faith. As far as your family being way better off than his; are they really money does not buy happiness nor does it buy your way into heaven. If you don't marry this man because he doesn't have as much money as your family does, I think you need to re/evaluate what happiness is. The poorist of poor people can be the happiest. If your home has love in it; it is a rich home. If your home has wordly goods and no love well that makes for a very unhappy family. I would rather be rich with love than money anyday. One more question for you. If you marry have children what would you rather they have money or love?
To address losing your family if they love you all they want is to see a beautiful smile on your face showing your happiness. They want to see you worship God evidentally but, there is only one God. They may have a little trouble at first with your relationship out of your religion but, many people have overcome this before you and many more will after you. Your family will never stop loving you though, If they believe in the same God I do they will see their way through. They will ask God to take it in his hands.
As for me I say always marry for love. A partnership means give and take.With God in your life and marriage every day you will be happy!
2006-10-21 05:29:48 · answer #4 · answered by suzanne m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u seems to loss interest in him.better see another guy.
2006-10-21 04:19:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋