Me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time (over 3 years) and things have generally been pretty good. A little while ago things got really rocky because this girl who's in our friend group started coming onto him (and when a pretty girl shows him attention he always gets a crush). Normally this is nothing. It's alright for guys to look at other girls. But this is more serious. It's seems like almost obsession sometimes. And she's just taunting him, like she does with all the boys to get attention. It's driving me crazy. I'm not sure who to be mad with. I had a talk with him about it and he said that he would try to get over her. But the other day when I pointed out that he hadn't really been doing well in that department he was pretty unapologetic. I know he's not cheating on me, at least not physically, but I hear about this girl all the time. Everyone thinks she's so great and can't see what a manipulative person she is. What should I do?
2006-10-20 21:07:41 · 21 answers · asked by Jacqui 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to really sit down and figure out if this guy is worth your time. Think about why you've been together for such a long time. Is it all still there? You'll definitely want to sit and have a talk with him and possibly the other girl (if you think she realizes at least a little of what is going on). Talk with them separately though. It will be easier that way. You need to make sure your boyfriend understands how you feel. Maybe it's not as bad as you think it is. It's easy to take all the little things and build them all together. For now, he's with you. And if you're meant to be something like this shouldn't come between you. You just need to figure out if he realizes how lucky he is to have you.
2006-10-20 21:28:44 · answer #1 · answered by Adrianna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not respectful to you or your relationship for your boyfriend to carry on like this. You've been together for 3 years, you didn't say if you had children or pets or possessions together, but why risk sticking around with a guy that is not willing to give up on the crush, knowing full well how uncomfortable it makes you feel. And not only that actually throws it in your face by telling you about it. Not nice! There are really great loving, respectful people out there, if he doesn't want to shape up, then tell him to ship out!
2006-10-20 21:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by Heather M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you re-read your own letter, you would find the obvious answer. This truly has nothing to do with the girl, it's not her your going out with. I know it's hard sometimes to accept the real truth, but we can't "grow" as human beings if we don't. Rejection is for sure the worst feeling a person will ever have to feel. But if we try to learn from that awful feeling, a day may come when you won't find yourself getting into such a predicament. Better times are ahead for you I'm sure, this one is just a steppin stone!!
2006-10-20 21:34:39 · answer #3 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My dear,
The situation you are facing now happens to the biggest part of ladyes. It's not a pleasant one, I agree, but you have to choose what is best for you. It's good that you share your problem with us, so we can try to help you...
My advice for you is to take a break in this relationship. I'm not saying that you have to finish it, no, I'm just saying that you and your partner need some time apart. Just to figurate out what are each ones priorities, wishes... you know...sometimes people change and so their lifestyle, what was pretty and fine yesterday may not be life that today. In 3 years a man oar a woman can change... just let your relationship breath... try to reach an agreement with your man for a period to be apart. might be hard but it's the only way to deal with thing in a way that you both can profit later. And who knows what tomorrow might bring?
And another thing I want to tell you is that being mad is good sometimes, it helps you a lot. Just try to don't search someone to blame... sometimes things just happens ...
I hope you'll have everything you deserve, I wish you luck.
2006-10-20 21:22:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pretty much you can tell her that she needs to control how she acts towards your boyfriend and then you can ask him if his little crush is worth your relationship...if he's willing to let this keep going on then you need to just go ahead and head down the road to getting over him...you can always find someone that will find you the only star in his sky
2006-10-20 21:37:33 · answer #5 · answered by xxsanchabonitaxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a very sad situation, you need to stand firm and move on with your life, its a pitty you sublet your bf to other people, and if your bf loves you dont think would do such a thing, am sure he is tired and finished with you, he have had all what he wanted from u and its time to try others.its not a secret that he is seen the other girl right?..... then why waste time?...... Get over it and move on, there are so many single guys out there ready to love and be loved. if anything am one of them
2006-10-20 21:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by DM FORMULAR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a ***** just doing it because she thinks she can! Put her in her place and tell your boyfriend that if he loves you then he won't even look at another chick! If it was me I would tell him where to go and leave him at the drop of a hat!! If he is going to do this to you once honey he'll do it to you again! Dont let him put you through pain and frustration and go and find a guy that will love you for YOU! These people are not worth it!
2006-10-20 21:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by Sim!!! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's time to learn a valuable lesson in life - you cannot control other people and their feelings. If he is going to go for this other girl you cannot stop him.
What you can control is your reaction to the situation. You can show a lot of class and act cool about it or you can scream and cry and throw a fit. It is up to you to decide how you will react.
2006-10-20 21:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe let them both be themselves..????
.
if she likes him and can have him as a bf, (taking him from you) - do you really want this type for a bf?
do you want her(this type of woman) as a friend?
If they can't see her manipulation then they are manipulate by her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wouldn't be mad with either, I'd be disappointed in myself for believing (at least one of them) did not meet my expectations!!
.
.
Each of us(including me and you) deserves someone that likes us for ourselves....
if we are not currently with that person,
then
we can wait for that person
go look for that person
do nothing...
.
I agree with you "Normally this is nothing." So, why don't you give this a chance to be "Normally this is nothing." and see whether it is or not....
if it is then good
if it is not then good too, now you know...
.
.
2006-10-20 21:27:50 · answer #9 · answered by DM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with both ur boyfriend and this other gal tell them u r not impressed. listen to wat they say and give ur boyfriend a week or so for him to decide if its u or th other gal. 3 years is a long tym, if he aint serious u shld get another serious boyfriend and move on dont waste more tym.
2006-10-20 21:18:04 · answer #10 · answered by smart_eluh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋