The girl I am dating says that she doesn't like public attention, she wants to be private?? It's hard to know how to treat her because I like public attention. I like being in a conversation with as many people as possible. Indeed she does too, she hangs out with a bunch of people on her birthday for instance, has a few very close friends that really like hanging with her. She's very attractive. I don't think that definitely has anything to do with it. She knows who she is, she's very funny not in a nerdy or corny way either, she's not shy in the passive traditional old skul girly way, she's outspoken, she's very confident, strong and independent. That's why I don't get it, I just don't know how to treat her and what to "shy" away from doing so as not to make her feel bad. It just doesn't make sense that she'd even bring it up, but I know it's important to her. I just don't know what this looks like when it comes to how I treat her and how I deal with her, her friends, my friends, etc.
2006-10-20 20:56:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG you so just totally described me. I say that I am shy and this is why....I have things that I don't want everyone to know because well that will change the way that they look at me. It's one thing to be this person everyone likes and thinks is funny and really great to be around...but when those people go away, no more being center of attention, and no more being around friends it's just you and her....that time right there can get so intimate as in what she is thinking and how she truly feels that she can't just share that with someone that will look at her crazy and think she is retarded....give her a minute to feel you out and see exactly how she wants to act toward you....and she'll let you know if you step out ofbounds with her....sincerely apologize if and when you do but don't take it as something that had destroyed part of your relationship that's you learning each other and that is how you grow as a couple. ALways remember communication is key to everything
2006-10-20 21:08:49 · answer #1 · answered by xxsanchabonitaxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at her open behaviour with her friends she surely is a outgoing person but when it comes to public displays of affection she is uncomfortable which means she is SHY . The other reason cud b that she is just not into u or that since u r just dating it's very soon to say she likes u and wants to get comfy with u in public maybe shez conscious of wat people will start blurting out about her if at all she breaks off with u then it'll b a bad thing for her reputation.
Or plain she just wants time to get cosy with u in public then I say give each other some good time talk to each other discuss and ask each others likes and dislikes. Ask her openly and freely why she shies off in the public...does she not want to kiss u or hug u in public or if she doesn't want u to touch her in the public intimately... I guess start out with her by holding her hands and give her time but communicate thats the main key to all problems communication is the solid key to any relationship to reach any level.
2006-10-21 08:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by kittana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so when she's out with her friends she's friendly and out going, but when she's with you she says she's shy and private. Sounds like she's not sharing either because she doesn't trust you or she's not willing to be emotionally intimate with you.
That could mean a couple of things, she's not into you and she's waiting for the next best thing, or she needs some time to open up. Only you really know what's up. Feel her vibe, if it's not right for you, find someone who feels right.
2006-10-20 21:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by Heather M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that maybe she doesn't want to be as physical with you in public settings. So I would try toning down on the holding, kissing ect. I know it's tough, but the easiest way to make sure what exactly she means by "shy" is to ask her about it. Tell her that you care about how you make her feel and you don't want her to be uncomfortable ever. So if she would please explain to you exactly what she doesn't want you to be doing in public, that would be great. It will probably make her happy to see that you really listen to her and care about what she has told you too.
2006-10-20 21:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by chei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could not want you to be overshowering her with PDA. When you go out, treat her like a close friend, i.e. conversation, and do small things like hugs or holding hands. Ask her more about it too and what you can do to make her comfortable.
2006-10-21 07:43:07 · answer #5 · answered by whoshotputt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt like group dates and prefers being with people she knows well
go ut on your own and then suggest that another time its her close frineds with a few of your own so its still not to public...then slowly work on the public thing like sometimes that sometimes just the two of you so you both get a say
2006-10-20 22:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by ██████████ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i have never heard of something like that, i was going to say because shes shy because thats how i am, but since shes not then maybe she doesnt want to be seen with you... No offense. but I cant really think of any other answer..
2006-10-21 07:37:38 · answer #7 · answered by Freaky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the girl. usually it means she doesnt want to go fast in a relationship sometimes reflecting on something in the past. She wants you to please her without having to reveal her body. Stay with the kisses and dont take it too far.
2006-10-21 07:33:22 · answer #8 · answered by pittsburgs finest Patience 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesn't like to be in large crowds. She likes to be around friends. like people she's known since grade school. i'm the same way. it's not that confusing
2006-10-20 21:03:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋