HELPP!!! BF trouble!!!!!!! its serious somebody give me advise please!!?

Question

well, its a long story but ive been going out with my bf for 1 year and 4 months and the last 6 times weve gone out he has gotten drunk and started lecturing me about different stuff. today, he started telling me that our relationship was going nowere because we both had planned different futures that were not going to match. I have always had the idea that we could get to an agreement to stay together for college even though were going to different and very far ones. Today he made me tell him that i was going to try to forget him and got in a bad attitude. To be honest im tired of fighting so i was as calm as possible and at the end he asked me what i thought and i really dont know what to think anymore so i told him so. He got pissed off, got off of the car and said...do whatever the hell u want, if you feel life ******** calling me whrn you get home go ahead......I just got home and dont know wether to call him or not, what should i do? should i finish it? helpppp!!!!

Answer 1

Woah, seems like a real weiner. He is probably just saying that to make you keep saying that you want to stil be with him. Guys like hearing that just as much as girls do. Talk to him call him, if it doesnt work out tell him its not going to work out and you cant handle it anymore.

Answer 2

I'm takin it ya'll are in high school. Well if ya'll are going to different collleges, for more than 4 years. That's a VERY large transition. You're talkin bout going to an area that, if you live in the dorms, or hell just being involved with the college, meeting thousands of people your age, a good number of them having probably better qualities than your bf, hell might even look better. And HE'S going to a college himself, all those fine *** women there, in their prime, and many promiscuous....(imagine if he gets into a fraternity.). He has a good right to be worried about it, and he' trying to cope with losing you, because in a society like this, it happens very often. Unless the love you have is SERIOUSLY strong, it really won't work. And by the way you both feel I doubt it's gonna be able to work. So it's better to call him, let him know that things are gonna HAVE to change, life is taking you both on separate paths, and it's time to focus on the betterment of your lives, and not on a dying relationship. There's better things for both of you, and besides ya'll only been together for a year, it hasn't been like you grew up with him and serious 5-6 year relationship thing was goin, so choice is yours.

Answer 3

i think your boyfriend has issues, and they are becoming your issues as well. the attitudes and fights may be his way of telling you he wants out, listen to the man. there will always be disagreements in any and all relationships, but after only one year and four months you have already seen his ugly side. it is easy to tell a complete stranger to dump their loved one, but if your reationship isn't a healthy happy one, what exactly are you holding on to? what are your expectation for the future? now just for a second, imagine yourself and him ten years down the road where he has well evolved in his behavior, he isn't affaraid to be agressive or ugly, now add two or three kids, now estimate wheather his drinking is going to increase. see where i am going with this.
you can't save anyone (in situations like yours), because you really can't change the other person. if you are in love and he doesn't change he will kill your love. maybe you ought to give him some time away from you. two things will happen he will either understand what he is doing or he will climb on the first girls he can, just to tell you F*** You. you know him pretty well which would he do?

do what is best for you go to college, get a good job, if by the end of your journey he isn't next to you, thank god you only wasted a year and four months.

best of luck

Answer 4

Since you both are going to different colleges, that is going to be a real test if you stay together. There is eye candy on both sides. So relationships are going to be harder to keep. To be honest, it sounds like you both should part as friends because it is really going to be hard to keep your relationship when you both are so far apart, not only in distance but in future plans. You said he made you tell him that you were going to try to forget him. You should tell him that no matter what, you will never forget him. You both have spent over a year together. The drinking does concern me, because he is drinking to try to handle things and alcohol sometimes numbs feelings for awhile but then it is back to reality again. Both of you need to sit down and talk, not fight, no drinking, but with clear heads and open hearts. Maybe it's time to give yourselves some time and space apart. The decision is yours, and his to make. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Hmm...you seem co-dependent and he seems narcissistic. Imagine this, you two are constantly fighting and you haven't even gone away for college yet. How insecure is he going to make you feel when you do decide to carry on a long distance relationship with him? Maybe you should take a break and see how that goes if you don't want to completely let go. You might just need to step away from that situation in order to see the big picture.

Answer 6

Dont call him. He was drunk and mad and irrational? What he said was kinda true, but harsh. I absolutely hate the thought of long distance relationships, but you do it out of love. Maybe he is insecure about the fact of you being separated. Maybe he was drunk and let out what hed been avoiding all this time. Maybe he is afraid that if you two separate for college, he will lose you, and he would rather avoid that by breaking up with you. If you are attractive, smart, have a good personality, trust me men will see this and men would love to be with you. You sound like a young woman, so I would assume youre going to college right after highschool? Think about it, when you go to college, are you honestly going to close out all the men who would be interested in you? If so, then sure try to make this work. But I personally like having the option of choice, Im only 22, and I just got out of a 1.5 year long distance deal. It sucked. I hated spending lonely nights, and waiting for us to get time and money off to see eachother. I dont mean to feed your head with negativity, but sometimes love and lust makes us see the light, and never the dark. But if he feels he is certain this relationship isnt going anywhere, maybe hes already made this up in his head. Call him in the after noon or tomorrow and let him realize that what happend was WRONG, cause of you call him right away, its like youre accepting this behavior. Muah hun, hope I helped!

Answer 7

Don't change yourself for this guy. :[ Your best friend, although she's into some other guy, still wants to flirt with this guy because she knows that he likes her and she just likes the attention. It's kind of natural for almost all girls. When they know someone likes them they try and be a little flirtier; but when that person asks them out, they reject them. The attention is addicting and it's nice to know you feel wanted. That's my best bet, at least. If she's your best friend, I would assume she's being totally honest with you. :D If you're worried about her, tell her what she's doing. Tell her she's sort of taking the spotlight. She'll probably try and adjust so that more of his attention is on you. Flirt with this guy more. :] But dont' change yourself!

Answer 8

Honestly, communication is the key. Call him and tell him how you really feel. U dont have to tell him its over if u dont want it to be. Dont let him pressure u into anything. Ask questions. Ask him how long he noticed that your relationship was going no where. Dont get mad, listen to what he has to say. He should be able to do the same thing. Even though u might love him alot, sometimes we have to let our love one go, if in time he comes back to you, than it was meant to be

Answer 9

Sounds like a control issue. He gets angry because you are apparently not falling into his trap to control you. Sounds like this guy has lots of baggage, don't carry it for him. If you called him, after the way he told you, you "could" if you wanted to. Another one of his control tactics. End it now before college, so you won't be taking his garbage with you. Fresh start and all that.

Answer 10

DO NOT CALL HIM!!!!!! He is using the oldest form of abuse tactic known to wife-beater wearing rednecks!!!! It's manipulation to control through psychological warfare! And he is pulling out all the stops! And def. don't let yourself be seduced by a romanticized idea of him. For instance, don't remember him for the good old days. See him for what and who he is now. By doing this, not only do you protect yourself from becoming yet another statistic, you force him to take responsibility for his decision to be an "***-SMACK! " for lack of a better term. Keep in mind, this is only my humble opinion, but i think that anyone with a pulse would deserve better from a mate. good luck.

Answer 11

It doesn't sound to me like he got drunk and lectured you, it sounds like he got drunk TO lecture you, because it sounds like he's looking for a way out of the relationship. You can confirm this theory by telling him you want a little space right now and would like to take a break. Gauge his reaction.