WHAT!!! I'm one of the whitest guys you'll meet and my girlfriend/fiance is one of the blackest females you'll meet. FYI- besides race and sense of style (she can dress), neither of us looks unusual paired with the other (both slim/athletic, similar height, etc.) and we appreciate each other's sense of humor.
BUT, everytime she's jealous or just feels like being difficult, she'll always pull out the race card - everytime - and she's totally serious! Like, one time, she actually got mad because she caught me looking at some other smoking looking girl walking and she asked me if I would look at her like that if she was white!!! We love each other and I want to make this work but, I'm sooooo at the end of all patience and this is definitely affecting our relationship. Seriously, constructive advice from anyone who's been here is welcome.
Last thing - I've dated black girls b4 and not had this issue ever b4. What's more, she's dated white guys b4.
2006-10-20 19:13:17 · 13 answers · asked by forex 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Look, dating interracially shouldnt be hard, but sometimes it can be. Personally, I am black and Im very attracted to latino and italian men, but I would NEVER pull the race card because Im not thinking of their race while Im with them. She may like white guys because theyre white, not because they have a unique sense of humor, values, etc. When you date someone just for their race, then the race card will be pulled every time something stupid happends. Sounds like she is insecure and and ignorant. I know hun, love is something you want to hold on to, but its better to give it up early, than later. I have been dating interracially since highschool and I know I will probably marry outside my "race". Whatever. I dont even care about color. Its about love, humor, values, interests, and if those so happen to be found in black women for you, then there you go. I know girls that date white guys because they are... white. Its lame and immature. But look hun, you need to really ask youself, "why does she pull the race card?". Think about it. And when and if you guys are married, whats gonna happen when she is then intimidated by white women, thinking shes always competing. I hope my advice was useful and you can always email me if you have any more deplth to this. -Golden
2006-10-20 19:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by Brown Beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let her know that every time she pull the race card out, it does more damage to the relationship. If y'all are going to be a couple then you both need to forget about race. Don't tell her this while y'all are mad at each other (An angry mind hears nothing.), and if becomes a shouting match just drop the subject.
2006-10-20 19:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need to talk-seriously. Sounds immature on her part. This is something that needs to be resolved before you can take your relationship to the next level. You have enough to deal with from outsiders; you shouldn't have to hear it from her. It's suppose to be you and her against the world. Maybe that's why her other relationships have not worked out. If it doesn't improve, you should seriously reconsider. If you guys are in love like you say you are she should be willing to control her jealousy and her tongue!
2006-10-20 19:25:51 · answer #3 · answered by sweettee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the trust she probably just wants attention and a lot of it too. So really there is nothing you can do about that issue. And she knows that nothing is wrong with looking around at people, she just made it seem like it was for attention. So think about that honey!
2006-10-20 19:20:43 · answer #4 · answered by aricalyn10<3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her, in a very non-confrontational way, that it bothers you that she pulls the race card. Preface it all by telling her that you're not trying to start a fight. Tell her that she knows you very well and should know you well enough that her race has nothing to do with anything and if you're feeling extra brave, ask her why she says it.
2006-10-20 19:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should talk to her about it. What else can you do about it other than to speak it out? So you can both work this issue out. And if both of you think that this can't be solved anymore, break up and move on with your life. Maybe she's just not meant for you..
2006-10-20 19:22:18 · answer #6 · answered by qi-li-xiang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she is insecure. she is not confident about how she looks and it might becos of her previous bad experience.
you could help by acknowledging her need for security. assure her that she is pretty, and race is never a problem. women needs security and commitment, give them more of these and she will be fine, but give her more time and dun expect ther to change overnight.
2006-10-20 20:18:57 · answer #7 · answered by maximus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you shouldn't look at other women regardless of their race. If you two were really in love you both would be able to discuss your issues and you would be able to come to a compromise.
2006-10-20 19:17:06 · answer #8 · answered by joquetta16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if she is worth it. She obviously has issues. Think long and hard about a long-term relationship with her. Not all sisters are like her.
2006-10-20 19:18:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah i know what your feeling im asian and my ex is an american, i get jelous all the time, because i'm not tall and sexy like white women but he always says that he loves me so much and he would dare to cheat on me, i believe him our relationship lasted, i think you always make her feel very special and tell her that you love her. give her attention..
2006-10-20 19:21:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋