I hope that I do enough with my girls. We go to the park, we go for walks, we dance, we play in the backyard, etc. I felt guilty the other day when I sat down to read a magazine (for the first time in almost 3 years, honestly) and the girls were at my feet in seconds demanding my attention. Is it okay to occasionally do my own thing or am I supposed to be involved with them whenever they are awake?
2006-10-20 18:53:29 · 16 answers · asked by Mommy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's been a while - it;s funny you mentioned the magazine. That was the one thing I missed so much when my first was born - the ability to just sit and savor a magazine page by page.
My girls are grown and married, but we used to play quite a bit together, like you the park, dancing and singing, the library, outside or at the playground. A trip to Mcdonalds on occasion for the Happy Meal. Once the year old gets a little older, you can have them watch Sesame Street or something and color in front of the set for an hour so you can breathe a little - but until school you pretty much are their best toy.
I know this is hard - very hard. I remember thinking oh my God will they ever learn to sleep in on a saturday??
But--now they are gone and it seems like the blink of an eye. I loved raising them so much - it was wonderful and in no time at all they will be in school. And you will have your mornings and early afternoons to yourself.
For now, why not leave them with dad or a relative one or two evenings a week for a trip to the gym or take a class. I did that when mine were 1 and 4, and it was great to go to a college class and listen to adults talk and work on projects. It gave me a lot of renewal and it was really good for the kids to be with dad.
2006-10-20 19:06:08 · answer #1 · answered by chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 5 year drinks so much juice and water that her bladder can't hold it all the time. She has about 4 accidents a week but never at school. I keep an outfit and panties in her backpack in case that ever did happen. My daughter is humiliated (I see it in her eyes), she feels bad but tries to act like she doesn't care and laughs it off. DO NOT SPANK HER FOR THIS OR ANYTHING ELSE. You are a "step" mom. Your role is to be a loving friend. Cut back on juice and water. My daughter does not have as many accidents when I'm the one home with her all day because I don't let her mindlessly drink apple juice. Don't give her anything but a sip or 2 of water an hour before bed and make sure she goes to the bathroom before bed. PS- What if I smacked you every time you had an accident or an oops situation in life? Real nice (insert sarcasm). Edited to add: I should redirect my hostility to the mom- it seems. I thought you said YOU spanked her. Whew! Well, the mom needs help.
2016-05-22 07:02:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so long as you are patient and loving, it is ok for mom to have a minute of piece. Just explain it to them in a way that they can understand. they might be little but they understand a lot more than we realize. i found that it helps to sit on the floor when talking to my granddaughter, so we are eye to eye and i am not some big person she is looking up at. what ever you decide always remember to be consistent, and don't forget those little ones grow up so fast before you know it the time you could of had will be gone and those times you cant get back. Maybe ask a Friend you trust or a relative to help watch them for an hour and take a hot bubble bath. you deserve time to mom. good luck
2006-10-20 19:01:04 · answer #3 · answered by jtyt4225 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be a good mommy you need mommy time, you sound very devoted. I have 3 boys and I am too very devoted. But I let them watch a movie, play by themselves. they are loved and cherished and we take walks, but they knew from day one, that sometimes I read a book while the three play in the play room or the two 5 and 6 year olds go outside and my 15 month old can entertain himself. If you don't teach them this ability now they will demand constant attention forever. (well not forever but you know what I mean) They eventually have to learn and you DESERVE a break. Take one. By the way it is nice to see a good mommy who cares.
2006-10-20 18:59:39 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you see, i'm just a 19 year old kid but i know what you're feeling right now. i have 2 sisters, a brother, 8 cousins who are younger than me, 2 nephews and 2 nieces.
for me, yes it's ok to have time for yourself. you just have to make your kids understand that. a 3 year old can already understand that. you could also teach them games that can be played alone or maybe games that both of your kids will enjoy even without you around.
the downside for letting them play alone is that you can't watch over them. if you're a houswife, you could let them play in the backyard while you sit down and reading the magazine. at least this way, you could enjoy your thing and also watch over the kids.
hehehe
i find it amazing that a kid like me is giving advice to a mother like you :) have fun with the kids :)
2006-10-20 19:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by shannon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are doing things right! Going to the park and for walks (collect different leaves & things from Nature), dancing, playing "school", puzzles, crafts, story-books, colouring in books, play-dough, having the older girl helping you bake, visits to the local library, join a "Moms & Tots" group, go to the local swimming pool with your girls, go to a play-group where there are other children their ages.
But, NO, you are not supposed to be playing with them every moment!
You can take a little time for yourself each day (think of them as mini-holidays) maybe, when the little one is sleeping, you could introduce your 3 year old to the idea of "quiet time".
Make it short at first, (5 minutes) and encourage her to play quietly beside you or in her room, or in the TV room, but that could be 10 minutes morning and afternoon that you could have to yourself. Reward her when she spends those 10 minutes without disturbing you.
One of the funny things I did when my youngest was 3 or so , was we played "Spa Day" where she would brush my hair and wash my face for me, and I would lie on the sofa and she would put slices of cucumber on my eyes and tell me to lie still for 5 minutes (like she had to tell me that!). Then it was her turn and she would lie still for 5 minutes.
If there are other mothers in your area, you could organize a kiddie swap - just for an hour at a time. So, if you watch a neighbour's daughter for an hour on Monday morning, you could watch her child on Monday afternoon. Providing you know the other mother well and trust her, this can work well when you don't want to spend money on child care. It can work if there are two or three or more mothers who particiapate. So, you have, say, three kids over for an hour or so, but then you get three hours free while your 3 year old plays at the other homes. It is often easier to have 2 or 3 children playing than just one, as they entertain each other.
Anyway enjoy your children when they are little, before you know it they will be teens and they stop talking and bothering you then! lol
Good Luck!
2006-10-21 05:13:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noggin is a very educational program for your girls ,this program prepares children of their age group for preschool.Also direct-tv has the baby developmental program starting from age 6months -2yr old. My 1yr old granddaughter has been watching Baby First Tv since she was 6months old. Both of these programs would be very good for your girls....while you are reading your magazine they will be learning how to sign,opposites,colors the list is never ending. Every mom goes through the guilties.....remember if you don't take time for yourself what time will you have for your girls.
2006-10-20 19:07:09 · answer #7 · answered by Renee F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's fine to play around with them once in a while. But don't get them used to having your attention all the time, because then they will never let you do anything. Play with them once in a while!
2006-10-20 18:58:18 · answer #8 · answered by wera 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not really. Is good for children to amuse themselves. Give them clean paint brushes and little pails of water and tell them to go "paint" the house. They will love it! Also, five them a tray with whipped or shaving cream (be sure they don't eat it) and let them fingerpaint with it. You can relax and read your books while they are having fun.
2006-10-20 18:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by ginger13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love them, enjoy them, and mostly play with them as often as you can. They grow fast. There is absolutely nothing wrong to take time for yourself once in awhile though. Just remember life is once make the very best of it.LL.
2006-10-20 18:56:36 · answer #10 · answered by italliansweety67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋