My boyfriend of nearly 7 1/2 yrs...and also gave me a ring, but never pursued with the intention of it from 2 yrs ago. The ring issue has caused strains. But he should have never given a ring without it opening up a new level for the relationship. We are struggling right now..I love him so much and thought he did me with the world...a petty matter happened a couple months ago and now he is shutting me out and will not say he loves me back. He does this when he gets angry/upset/or things not his way. He is a pretty good situation with me and I give in a lot...When I ask what he wants or if he still loves me...he says not sure..How can a switch just be turned off like that...a couple friends say he is going through Mid life crisis. I'm not trying to give altimadums...but 2.5 months...this is ripping me apart and hurts to not get the words and affection reciprocated...but yet he still pushes the intimacy,but it's a little less affectionate in ways..How should I handle this?????
2006-10-20 18:43:32 · 9 answers · asked by SMILEYGIRL 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It doesn't sound good for you ... you love him but it sounds as if he's had it way too easy for too long and some of the challenge has gone ... maybe you've given in too easily once too often and he knows he's going to get his own way and what he wants without too much effort so why whoiuld he bother trying at all??? You have to be much stronger and act as if it's you who doesn't care .... if he doesn't shape up and make an effort to "win you back" was he ever really the right guy for you in the first place ???
Decisions like this are never easy ... but it's time he was put to the test ... if he passes, you'll live a happy life with him ... if he fails, go find someone who loves and respects you and you'll live a happy life with them instead
2006-10-20 18:50:29 · answer #1 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its time or past time to talk.
and maybe you can help with the crisis, maybe you both can see a counciler.
Often at 7 years marages hit a snag ..and you two have been acting almost like married.
If you love him, but he will not say he loves you , then it is time to give him a little kissy, tell him you love him, but don't sleep with him. You MUST say that you will not sleep with someone who does not love you.
Don't let him use the L word just to get back into bed.
good luck.
2006-10-20 19:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow 7.5 years ... that is longer than alot of marriages last these days... well at least your not married now that your having problems... more than likely he is bored and unhappy and wants out. If he is going thru a mid life crisis my suggestion would be to start "wowing" him. Do somthing completly unexpected like just rock his world in a hotel room some night, or go skinny dipping. Wake him up out of his slump and get some life into him.
2006-10-20 18:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by travis R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I was in a relationship for 4 yrs. After 2 we were engaged. After another 2 our relationship began 2 struggle and when I stood up 4 my self and moved on I found out he had been datin his ex. They were engaged in 1month after we broke up and married 6 months after we broke up. If he really wants 2 be married nothing will stop him. Move on it sounds like he stringing u along 4 sex...
2006-10-20 18:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by Paige R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give the ring back and don't speak to him for a couple of weeks. After he realizes how important you are to him he will change his ways and appreciate you more. If he doesn't change and starts to see other people then you're better off without him. Either way you win!!!!!!!
2006-10-22 14:35:41 · answer #5 · answered by danny_austin4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOVE endures much -- Love always survives "petty" matters. Maybe it's time to re-examine the meaning of this word.
2006-10-20 19:01:47 · answer #6 · answered by me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A RING THAT HE GAVE YOU WITH
NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY THING IS CRAZY. IF AFTER
7 YEARS TOGETHER HE AND YOU HAVE NOT GOT WHAT\YOU NEED TO GET TO THE NEXT LEVE.. I DONT
THINK THAT IT WILL HAPPEN. YOU NEED TO MAKE SOME
DECISION ABOUT HOW MUCH ARE YOU WILLING TO TAKE
FROM THIS GUY WHO HAS COMMITED ISSUES. YOU MAY
NEED TO LEAVE HIM. AND FOR HIM TO SAY HE NOT SURE
THAT HE LOVE YOU. AND YOU ARE STILL THERE. HE WOULD BE HISTORY.
2006-10-20 18:51:09 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
¤ dating status? - In dating ¤ Longest dating? - 3 years, Teenage love. he's married now, we are solid acquaintances ¤ Ever been cheated on? - so a procedures as i understand, no longer. ¤ have you ever cheated? - No and that i by no potential will.
2016-10-02 12:39:06 · answer #8 · answered by cosco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him and let him know how you feel and try to be determined in making yourself understood and never give in so easily....good luck...
PS: if something is going on for so long, that means the relationship is not going successfully , there is something wrong with that....
2006-10-20 18:51:48 · answer #9 · answered by Fleur de lis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋