Mother-In-Law always expects us to pay for her dinner when we go out. Even brings her sister along and expects us to pay for her. Brought one of her friends last time and never offered to pay one red cent. What should I do to avoid conflict?
2006-10-20 17:51:38 · 15 answers · asked by Mommy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There is going to be conflict. However, I would definitely talk to your husband and come to an agreement on however you want to approach it. I am all for showing all respect to the mothers, but most of the time I have to fight my parents or in laws for the check. Just be upfront and honest. You aren't always able to foot the bill for the mother in law and it seems rather unfair that she should expect you to pay for her AND anyone else she decides to bring along.
Remain respectful, in laws are going to be around a long time and it is hard for a guy to fight with his mom. You are going to be around a lot longer than his mom, so just make sure you and your husband have a plan however you decide to manage it. Support each other... Good Luck!
2006-10-20 18:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by Just another 2D character online 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop going out to dinner and instead invite her over to your house. If she questions it, tell her it was getting too expensive and you are trying to save money. Then if she invites you out for a change, she'll at least have the understanding that she either needs to contribute to the bill or pay for it all. She's only doing it because you allow her to. She honestly probably thinks you are well off and expects it. Break the habit for her in a nice way and it'll end the hostility.
2006-10-20 17:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop inviting her??? She sounds selfish and is taking advantage of you. Even if you ask for her to help with the tab, she will probably get offended and be very defensive. The next time you go out to eat forget your money and credit cards and see what happens. You might want to keep an emergency credit card in the car just in case. Watch how she handles the situation and don't be surprized if she expects you to pay her back.
2006-10-20 17:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by danny_austin4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her before you go that you are going dutch each pays for their own. Explain that you can only treat so much of the time, if you go out several times a month. Or tell her you are taking her out to spend time with her a special time with just the 3 of you. She probably does not know how this makes you feel. Hopefully if you tell her she will ask before inviting someone else along.
2006-10-20 17:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by Lora D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long has this been going on?
Are you newly married? If so, did your husband used to treat his mom to lunches or dinners?
Does your husband feel his mom should be paying her way?
Is your MIL on a fixed income to where eating out might be a financial burden?
How is she invited? Is she called saying "We're going to go out to dinner, would you like to join us?" I'd assume the invitor would pay for the invitee - like a guy pays for dinner of the woman he asks out.
If this bothers your husband as well, then take the advice of the poster who said to start fixing dinner at home. Who says that getting together for dinner needs to be at a restaurant?
2006-10-20 18:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by messageboardjunkie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Your Husband {Alone ofcourse} You like Your Mother In-Law,
But the Dinners have to stop!
Once she realizes that Your not going to give Her and Her family free dinners anymore, Shell stop and think about it.
Besides being funny mother In-Law rearranged spells
Hitler Woman.
Sincerely, Ant
2006-10-20 17:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anthony E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you are inviting her to go out to dinner with you then she shouldn't be expected to pay. When you INVITE someone to go out to dinner you are expect to pay. If you don't want to pay for her meals, (It is quite rude of her to bring along a friend though), stop inviting her.
2006-10-20 20:24:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do two things.
1) Inform her before you go out that you will not be picking up the check for her meal or for anyone she brings along.
2) When the waiter comes to your table inform him loud enough for her to hear that you want separate checks.
* I have one rule. If I call and ask you to come with me I pay for every thing, If you invite your self then you pay for your self.
2006-10-20 17:59:51 · answer #8 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to Asia Culture, paying for Mother-in-Law is your duty.
2006-10-20 17:54:35 · answer #9 · answered by Phoenix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
either...
"forget your wallet"
tell the waiter you want seperate checks before you even order
or..
just dont go out to dinner i guess.
what a weird mother in law. she should paY! lol
good luck!
2006-10-20 17:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by MyEyeZHypnoTiZe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋