heres one:
Two blondes were waiting at the Pearly Gates and struck up a
conversation.
First blonde says "How did you die?"
Second says "I froze to death".
First blonde says "Must have been awful."
Second blonde says "How did you die?"
First blonde says "I had a heart attack, I knew my husband was
being unfaithful so I came home unexpectedly one day and rushed
to the bedroom and found my husband alone reading. I rushed to
the basement and nobody was hiding there, I rushed to the attic
and still no one, and after all that rushing around I had a
heart attack and died."
Second blonde says, "If only you'd looked in the freezer we'd
both still be alive."
2006-10-20 17:43:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street,then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.
2006-10-20 17:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by bluesmurfins 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.
He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a large, blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blond jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?” The ventriloquist looks on in amazement.
“It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community” she continued, “and of reaching my full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor.”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize. The blonde interjects, "You stay out of this, mister, I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"
2006-10-21 00:51:46 · answer #2 · answered by Ann 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
2006-10-21 00:48:16 · answer #3 · answered by sadgreeneyes3 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.
The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?"
One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
2006-10-21 00:47:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Can't be done. They'll never figure out how to get in the lightbulb.
2006-10-21 00:46:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never heard that one before, good one.
2006-10-21 00:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by penguinluvinman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one!
2006-10-21 00:48:28 · answer #7 · answered by dianee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Old joke, still funny though.
2006-10-21 00:46:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol thats funny
2006-10-21 00:56:11 · answer #9 · answered by Love Exists? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol that was really funny!! HA HA HA !!!
good one!
2006-10-21 00:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋