My daughter will celebrate her first birthday on Thanksgiving day this year. Her cousin was born 4 years ago, on Thanksgiving that year... we arent close with that cousin or her parents, but my mother-in-law has said many times how 'great it will be that they will be able to share their birthday together every year'.
Should we be forced to share birthdays? I understand that it's great that family will be together and it logistically makes sense, but I think that birthday celebrations are special and shouldnt be shared.
Any ideas or suggestions are most appreciated! : ) Thanks!
2006-10-20 16:09:57 · 33 answers · asked by lexilula23 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
ask her what she wants then let her decide
2006-10-20 16:12:06 · answer #1 · answered by jess l 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY NOT Maybe when they get older you could have one birthday party, but first of all this is your daughters FIRST birthday it should not be shared with anyone else. That is HER day. Especially if you are not that close to that particular family. My son was born on Dec 19, exactly one week before his sisters 4th birthday on Dec 26, and obviously we have Christmas. My stepdaughter lives with her mom and we get to see her 1/2 of the day on holidays and every other weekend, so it would've been easier to have their birthdays together, or at the same time as Christmas but I would not have it. He was one She was 5 and I didn't that that was fair. Also I don't let there birthdays be with the holiday gatherings either. My family was a little frazled but everyone has gotten over it and it is fine now. It's bad enough they have to go all year with out any celebrations to break up the 12 mo. So there was no way I was going to give them one present for Christmas and there bday. nor am I going to have them share there day. Noone else has to why should they.? Just to be easier for the rest of the family???
2006-10-24 15:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your daughter's 1st birthday should be shared. The 1st birthday is special!!! All the others are too, but you know what I mean. I don't think your daughter should have to share every birthday with her cousin. Maybe when she gets older you may want to, but I think your daughter should have her own day celebrating only her with all of the attention on her. It seems like it would be a little more special. And what would y'all do about birthday themes because my guess is you aren't going to want your daughter to have the same theme as her cousin, so will you have different plates and decorations all mixed up together? And if it were me I'd want to be the one to make my daughter's first cake and decorate everything the way I wanted. Anyways, that's just what I think. I don't really think they should share. I think your sweet little girl should have her own day just for her! :-)
2006-10-20 16:27:27 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go and talk to your mother-in-law and explain that your daughter's birthday is extremely important to you and that it shouldn't be shared with distant family. If your mother-in-law is looking for a family get together then maybe you can host one later in the year, but not on your daughter's birthday. This other child has had 4 years to have his/her birthday by their selves, why can't your daughter have it? I also suggest you ask this cousin what they think about it, I bet they are as uncomfortable as you are. If she agrees with you then you guys should talk to the mother-in-law. If not tell her your reason of being so and maybe she can tell the mother-in-law. Don't worry, everything will be okay! Good luck...
2006-10-20 16:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by Smartsrule 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a sister and a cousin who's birthday's fall on labor day occasionally. In our family we have always had a big family get together on that day. They decided when they were young to have 2 separate parties on the same day we have one before or right after lunch and the other later in the evening. It works out great cause they both get their own special time and we are together all day anyways so it works out pretty well. We also have a separate party for my sister either the day before of the day after at our house with close friends and some family. Seems to work pretty well all around.
2006-10-20 16:41:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your case I don't think your daughter's bday should be shared. If you aren't that close with that side of the family, it might make the day awkward for you and you won't enjoy yourself. You want to have great first bday memories.
Your mother-in-law sees it as a good thing because she probably looks at it that way. She will get to be with both grandkids. Besides as you stated you don't feel that birthdays should be shared. I think you should do what makes you most comfortable.
2006-10-20 17:36:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is so young right now that she won't care- as long as she gets cake, ice cream, and toys! When she gets older you will be able to have birthday parties with her friends and she won't have to share them with the cousin. Make a HUGE deal out of her birthday at home. It's a special day for you and your daughter. A birthday party is just so others can give presents!
2006-10-20 16:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by Tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister and I shared a birthday, but like your daughter and her cousin there was an age gap. I hated having to share my party with her every year. She was older and I wasn't into the same things that she was but the family did double party for years and i made famous "its my party i can cry if i want to". Each birthday should be celebrated seperate. Even if you do have the do a double party to keep the family happy, do a seperate party just for your daughter, that way she knows she is special
2006-10-20 16:16:02 · answer #8 · answered by DarkStar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, your child should not have to share her special day with her cousin at all. That's not fair to her, you..or the other child. have what you want as a celebration on her day, invite those you want to invite..for the other child you can simply go visit her another day to wish her a happy birthday (or call her even!..) I'm not sure if you have gone to the other child's bd before, if you haven't there is no reason why you have to now. Do not take away from your own daughter for anyone.
2006-10-20 16:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be best suited for you to plan a party one weekend and have her cousins party either one weekend before or after that. Right now it really doesn't matter, your daughter is one, it's not like she's having friends over for cake and then having to share time and attention with her cousin. As she gets older, it's going to be less common for all of her family to be at her birthday party because she will have her own friends and you can go about doing your own thing.
2006-10-20 19:51:24 · answer #10 · answered by antheia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a birthday falls on a holiday it should be celebrated seperately, and if you are not close with her cousin or her parents you do not need to have their birthdays together. You can always have a party for your daughter the weekend before or the weekend after
2006-10-20 16:14:16 · answer #11 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋