My gf is too busy for me with school, two jobs, and she's trying to join this club thats requiring alot of her time. During summer break we were both too busy for each other but when school started I figured we would have plenty of time together. I DO NOT WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HER. I love her. And so when she got busy in the begining of this year I told her that it was fine and that she has to do what she has to do... i'll be patient... but we've been in school now for 2 months and she still hasn't made any time for me. We use to be really intimite and now we're not anymore... she's tired. She isn't cheating or anything... she just has a busy day... and lately i've been arguing with her about it. I give her a hard time. my question? Am I being selfish giving her a hard time about this or do I have the right to be mad? And regardless the answer, does anyone have any suggestions regarding my situation?
2006-10-20
15:58:27
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13 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Singles & Dating
My gf is too busy for me with school, two jobs, and she's trying to join this club thats requiring alot of her time. During summer break we were both too busy for each other but when school started I figured we would have plenty of time together. I DO NOT WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HER. I love her. And so when she got busy in the begining of this year I told her that it was fine and that she has to do what she has to do... i'll be patient... but we've been in school now for 2 months and she still hasn't made any time for me. We use to be really intimite and now we're not anymore... she's tired. She isn't cheating or anything... she just has a busy day... and lately i've been arguing with her about it because she says it's going to be like this to december. I'm not angry because shes absent from my life, but im working hard at this relationship alone. Am I being selfish giving her a hard time about this or do I have the right to be mad? does anyone have any suggestions regarding my situation
2006-10-20
16:16:13 ·
update #1
Well, you have the right to be upset, but giving her a hard time about it is really not helping the situation. The two of you should sit down for 15-20 minutes or longer and talk about what's happening. Express your feelings towards each other and what you plan to do to keep the relationship alive. you're not being selfish if you are thinking of the both of you and not just yourself but you should be considerate of what she is doing. There's probably a good reason why she's so busy these days, but I'm sure she can some time for you two to sit down and talk about it.
I'm sure she's feeling the same way about you, maybe she feels that she isn't spending enough time either. The best solution to the problem is communication between the two of you. If you can open the lines between you two, you might find that you'll be very successful.
2006-10-20 16:07:42
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answer #1
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answered by ravensfan172003 3
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You are not being selfish at all. She is actually disrespecting you by not findind any time for you. Two months without doing anything with you? That is a long time and you have every right to be angry and tell her about it. That's not giving her a hard time. That's being honest and telling her how you feel and you have been patient and gave her plenty of chances. If she's that busy, she obviously doesn't want to be in a relationship very bad in the first place. If she did, she'd want to spend at least a little bit of time with you. My advice to you is to end your non-existent relationship with this woman because she is being a jerk.
2006-10-20 17:38:12
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answer #2
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answered by joverlien 3
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You don't have to spend time with a person for like an hour to enjoy it. 2 mins can mean alot.Just show her your affection if that's how you feel about her. I guess this is a test to see if this relationship will work out. And No, I don't think you are being selfish, but she might to get tired of your complaning depeding on what kind person she is. You have to stay strong for her since you love her and don't want to break up. You can tell her how you feel but don't over do it. And again appreciate every min you get with her. Give her a kiss, hold her, hug her. Little things matter too.
2006-10-20 16:05:22
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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I think you are being a little selfish about it. Look at it this way. The next time you can actually hang out with her, it'll be like a dream come true, and you guys would probably try to make it really special. Some people have boy/girlfriends meet them every day and they could start getting annoying. The farther you are, the more you have time to appreciate and respect your partner more. So, appreciate the time you have for her. She's working her butt off to attempt to see you, so don't get mad, at all. Plan surprises for her.
2006-10-20 16:03:18
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answer #4
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answered by desigal 5
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I think you are a little selfish.... if she's really busy. But she also needs to make time for you after a while. She has to figure out what her priorities are. My advice: Call her every day even if she can't talk for long, just to keep the contact and let her know you still care and she should get the message.
2006-10-20 16:05:17
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answer #5
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answered by Smarties 3
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Looks like she's being a little neglectful. Try giving her three days of space, then calling her and asking her to clear her schedule for a date, because I suspect she's obviously really busy, but you do have a valid reason to ask her for some time. You should'nt be the only one working in the relationship.
2006-10-20 16:01:39
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answer #6
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answered by leaysa 3
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No. I don't think you are being selfish at all. No self respecting person wants to be messed around like this. It is possible that she wants out of the relationship and has not got the decency and honesty to say so directly. If all your attempts to sort this out fail, it might be best to save yourself more grief and be the one to break it off. That would save grief in the long run.
2006-10-20 16:10:48
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answer #7
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answered by kirrii 3
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in view which you're needy, and you pass over him. that is common, yet no excuse to no longer appreciate his needs or to accuse him of issues. you're in basic terms taking extra of his potential, in case you do this. you will possibly be able to desire to objective helping him. He needs to shield his father? Come over earlier he gets living house from paintings, shield his father, so he has a while to easily take a seat/lie down and unwind. in case you do no longer stay mutually you could help him out - once you do your buying, p.c.. up his, too. once you cook dinner, make extra effective so he has some pre-made food to warmth whilst he gets living house. convey him lunch at paintings, something healthy so he would be energized. do no longer ask him to do something for you or with you. in simple terms grant help. That way you probable get to be around him somewhat extra, plus you ease his load. And via all ability grant the guy oral, no strings. it will help him relax, and make him choose to do something returned for you whilst he does have the time and potential. If he makes the living, be certain you're making life well worth living.
2016-10-15 06:13:03
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answer #8
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answered by ? 4
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It is hard to show love by being mad.
You either give her the patience you promised, or you move on.
Consider: will you being mad at her make her happy? If you love her, isn't her happiness more important than your own? And if your happiness has become more important than hers, haven't you stopped loving her?
You are not in each other's life to torture each other with anger.
2006-10-20 16:03:20
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answer #9
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answered by Love 1
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How old are you? First talk to your girlfriend about the situation and if she doesnt make an attempt to spend time with you regardless of her schedule then its time to move on.
2006-10-20 16:04:15
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answer #10
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answered by ShellyBelly 4
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