We do not hit her.
2006-10-20 15:26:42 · 29 answers · asked by wendygirl1000 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Definitely do not hit her back....at 2 they will not understand and will associate hitting as a normal thing, and because you hit her, it must be OK....I would use time out...if done consistently it can be very effective. Guidelines for time out are 1 minute for every year in age...good luck....
2006-10-21 16:29:28 · answer #1 · answered by Kathy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All kids go through this. So first thing she is not a bad kid. All kids at this age test their limits. They have discovered that they can express themselves physically. We used time out allot and on a very consistent biases. You can not allow anyone to let her get by with hitting them. At two they don't understand that it's OK to hit sometimes or some people. This was a problem because my oldest is a boy and my husband liked to play fight with him. That had to stop. Most two yearolds are not able to just tell you how they feel so you need to tell her "I know your mad with me but hitting is not the right way to tell me. You can say I'm mad." And then remind her that you love her very much.
Now on another note, If she is watching cartoons where there is hitting or she goes to daycare where other kids are hitting these could be the things that are causing her to try the hitting. Kids are real good at picking up on our moods so If you get upset with her , if it's OK to, wait a few minutes to punish her so you don't seem upset. If your not mad at her then she is likely to be less likely to become so upset that she wants to it you.
I wish you luck.
2006-10-20 22:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is she "mad" at you? Are you not giving in on something she wants? The hitting is her version of a tantrum. You can't ignore her hitting (like you can her laying in the floor causing a scene), but forget all the time out advice. She is 2. She will not even care why she is there. Don't threaten to take away something later - she will forget why she is being punished and it will not register. She needs to know 1) it won't get her what she wants, and 2) there are consequences to bad behavior. As she reaches to smack you (or is in the process) grab her arm (don't push it away or twist or wrench it- just grab and hold firmly) and look her straight in the eye and tell her "You don't hit people". Then immediately get up and walk away from her and totally ignore her for a couple of minutes. She will realize on her own that she doesn't "win" by hitting, and she won't even get "negative attention" from you. It will stop pretty quickly if you are consistent. My son used to come over and bite me on the knees (when he was about 1 yr old). He had NO capacity to understand an explanation about why not to do that, but if I got up and left, he saw that he was seperated from me, and he didn't want that. Timeouts will make you wish YOU had a timeout if you have a really strong willed child. By age three she should be introduced to spanking when she is disobedient. My son is now 8 and rarely does he even need to be threatened with a spanking... now I can use the delayed gratification concept or take something away. He is mature enough to make the correlation between what happens at breakfast on Friday and what happens on Saturday afternoon. You might also try the standing with her nose in a corner thing around age 3, and see if it helps. It worked for a short time with my son with disrespect, but I came to realize he is very sensitive and took it too personally.. the spanking did the least damage to his "self-esteem", and he learned quickly. Alot of people feel guilty about spanking. Don't. But DO give your child a minute or 2 alone after and then come back to them, sit them down facing you and TALK to them about why they were punished. Their attention is at it's peak right THEN. And you can remind them how much you love them and how you are doing your job as mommy/daddy by helping them learn right from wrong. Then give lots of HUGS!! Just remember, she is 2. What happens when she is 12? Hitting you when she is "mad" at you is her version of talking back. Nip it now.
2006-10-20 23:07:25 · answer #3 · answered by victronia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children need to have the feeling of an adult being in control.By you not spanking her or making there be strong punishment,you have no chance of having your child under control now, or later when they are big enough to whup your ***.This whole "Not Spanking" thing is the reasons that the youth of today are disrespectful and more rebellious than ever.If there is no consequence for her hitting,it wont stop.The thing I find the funniest about the whole NO SPANKING is that people convince themselves that the are not teaching their kids to hit to solve issues, BUT WHO IS HITTING YOU!!!!! How do you put a child in the corner when they wont stay in the corner.Spank now and have control of the child.Its harder to do the right thing, I know.But when you ignore the child it will keep doing whatever it wants.Spare the child the whole ultimatum thing if you are not gonna follow through,you just lose more respect.
2006-10-20 22:42:02 · answer #4 · answered by kelliekareen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set her down for time outs. Make her sit there until she either calms down or 2 minutes is up. Explain to her that hitting is not nice. If she keeps doing it, keep giving time outs. Eventually she will learn that if she hits you, she gets a time out.
And... if she acts up more during the time outs, add an extra minute to it.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-20 22:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, make sure you are rewarding her for her good behavior by giving her praise and letting you know you appreciate it when she is good and solves problems without hitting. She probably will not understand yet, but eventually she will catch on and will be better behaved by aiming to repeat good behavior, for which she is rewarded with.
Punishment has been proven several times over to be ineffective, especially for young children. She may not even remember why she is being punished, and she could continue being angry with you for doing it to her, which may make her act out even more.
Do not give her negative attention when she throws tantrums. Eventually she will realize that that she gets your attention when she's bad, so when she's feeling ignored she will act out. You need to ignore her when she is behaving badly. It's not going to be easy, and it's not going to be an overnight transformation, but you'll get there.
2006-10-21 03:00:30 · answer #6 · answered by antheia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Punish her by putting her in time out, taking away toys, etc. When you punish her make sure she knows why. Tell her that it is not nice or that it is wrong to hit people. Tell her that she is hurting you and make a really big deal out of it... "OW!! You hurt Mommy! OW!!!" She loves you and wants your approval, if she thinks that she is really hurting you, she won't repeat the behavior many more times.
Whatever your punishment style is, just stay consistent with it and she will soon stop this behavior... just like with any other lesson you are teaching her.
2006-10-20 22:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by just me 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My brother used to gently take her hands and say "No, we don't hit." Then if she didn't listen, give her a 2 minute time out. No longer than that, because 2 minutes is a lifetime for a 2 year old.
2006-10-20 22:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by erewhon77 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What the pediatrition told me to do when my son throws fits or hits is to ignore him. If she's hitting you, don't even tell her to not hit.. don't give her the attention of words. Walk away, in the other room, wherever. All she's trying to do is get your attention. The same thing as throwing a fit. Ignore her, pay her no mind. It seems to be working so far with my son. Goodluck!
2006-10-21 15:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by chaoskittyx 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The bible teaches clearly, ''Spare the rod , spoil the child.'' It doesn't mean to hit them but that they need to be spanked if necessary. Hitting is not the answer but a spanking will do the trick if it's necessary. Other wise I guess you can try putting her into timeout for the next 20 yrs.
2006-10-20 22:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋