The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"
And Paddy (for it was he) replied "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And Paddy began - "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair just the same..."
Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued, "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
2006-10-20 14:33:11 · 21 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I think it is a very good joke. I am still laughing. I have to make a copy to show my friend`s. I wish i was that good at telling joke`s.
2006-10-20 14:45:44 · answer #1 · answered by timothy b 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok I'll play, your was great and I have the sister joke to it.
The wife comes home from her husbands funeral and final cremation. His ashes in a dish she states "Look sweetie what I bought with your insurance money, the mink coat you always promised, and with that she says and look sweetie at the diamond ring you always promised me, and finally look sweetie at the beautiful pearl neklace you always promised me...and with that she took a deep breath and blew his ashes from the dish and there sweetie what I had been promising you.
2006-10-20 14:46:30 · answer #2 · answered by ஐAldaஐ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
so thers this guy watering his lawn and all of the sudden he sees a coffin roll up onto his lawn and start comin towards him. he runs into the house but the coffin follows him. he runs up the stairs, still with the coffin close behind. he locks himself in the bathroom but it knocks down the soor. he looks around for anything to use indefense but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup, so he throws it at it and....
the coffin stops!
2006-10-20 14:39:19 · answer #3 · answered by dover_luv 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ha ha ha
2006-10-20 14:56:45 · answer #4 · answered by Brooklynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, I have a grandmother who used to LOVE playing sick jokes soI know exactly where your coming from. Examples: throwing boxes down the cellar stairs and screaming, calling a family member up and disguising her voice and saying that her husband was cheating on her and then FORGETTING to call her back explaining that it was just a joke, calling family members up at 60 yrs.old and saying she's pregnant. Sounds like things around your house are really stressing you out to the max. First of all, not talking to her won't do any good, tell her exactly how the 'joke' made you feel, then with the rest of the BS, just breathe deep, relax, and let go. Those other things are out of your control right now, no sense in worrying about them. But, I would definitely let your mom know that even though she may have thought that her joke was funny, it really upset you. Good luck with everything.
2016-05-22 06:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long but funny
2006-10-20 14:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by beer30_somewhere 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is precious! I hope his stupid wife learned the lesson from this.
2006-10-20 20:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not really funny. But it is an eyeopener. Thanks I have a few women at work who need to read this.
2006-10-20 14:37:43 · answer #8 · answered by yp_fanta_beaumont 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's just too funny..and just what I need... a good laugh...THANKS.
2006-10-20 14:42:47 · answer #9 · answered by BIZ Z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that's very funny.
2006-10-20 16:35:14 · answer #10 · answered by jen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋