my boyfriend always says he is a nobody, which makes me mad cause i love him so much but he always says that and i hate it, because to me he's everyhing...last night we had a fight because he said i was a no one, which made me feel really bad, and i never said he was a no one, do you have any reason why he should say that.....thanks
2006-10-20 13:05:27 · 16 answers · asked by ♥LADY INDIA♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You didn't say how old you or your boyfriend are, but I am assuming that you are both quite young.
Up to your late teens, or even your early 20's young people experience a lot of changes in their bodies. There are a lot of imbalances in hormones, & other chemicals that are needed to help you grow physically. It's not unusual for these imbalances to affect your moods & attitudes about yourself & others.
That's why many of your friends might seem to be dramatically affected by something that might seem trivial to you, & that could be an explaination as to why your boyfriend seems very down on himself. His attitudes & moods could also be influenced by something that is happening at home, or school.
Don't feel bad about what he say's, just ask him why he says those things, & tell him how terrific YOU think he is, I am sure he wants to hear it, even if he doesn't act that way.
Besides, you said that the things he say's "makes me feel bad".
Well the truth is, you make yourself feel bad, because you let yourself be affected by what he says.
He may be going through a bad time in his life, but that is no reason why YOU should be dragged down with him. I know you care for him very much, but at your age, your job is to look after YOU, & nobody else. When he gets that way, where he is down on himself, you can establish clear boundaries by excusing yourself from his presence. You don't have to do it in an angry way (it's better if you don't) just make an excuse like "I have to be home now" or something, & check on him later. Eventually he will come to understand that when he lets his down side be seen, that he has to do it alone.
If he asks if there's anything wrong then find a tactfull way of telling him that you prefer to be elsewhere when he's acting like a Sad Sack.
If he's an average kid he'll grow out of it, & there's nothing you can do to help except be supportive, but not at the expence of your own happiness & well being.
Take care of yourself 1st.
2006-10-20 13:33:09 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somebody in life somewhere along the line must have told him he was a nobody,,and put him down all the time. He knows no other way,,no matter how much you try and tell him hes everything,,hes got that in his head for a reason. But for him to tell you that u r a nobody,,,i just dont understand. He has low self esteem and the only person who can change that is himself. If he keeps disrespecting you in that way,,u might need to leave him.
2006-10-20 13:10:35 · answer #2 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that he's just really insecure and low on self-worth, but if he called YOU a no-one, that's just mean. Sounds like he has a pessimistic point of view all around. That's all I can tell from what I know, which is only what you said up there.
2006-10-20 13:08:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has no self-confidence. He got upset about your comments because he depends on you to boost him up and he is looking for any sign that you think he is a nobody. If he thinks he hears you confirming his negative feelings of himself, he gets upset. It sounds like he needs a therapist.
Take care,
Troy
2006-10-20 13:17:26 · answer #4 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He had a lack of self-confidence. Tell him the next time he calls you a NO BODY that you will look for somebody else! Let him know that he is someone to you and you don't want to hear him putting his self down.
2006-10-20 13:10:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
low self-esteem...u cant change that..its his personality..be very aware...i will not marry a man like that..it will carry on until u are married...he will make u feel like u should be there all the time to lift him up and complete him....if he says hes a nobody...ask him why he feel that way....
2006-10-20 13:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he keeps saying this because he wants to know that people really care, maybe because he has had some issues in the past. so even if he keeps saying he is nothin just tell if exactly how much he means to you.
2006-10-20 13:30:00 · answer #7 · answered by tv_braves_baseball 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what. Your need to ask him to sit down and talk things out. Ask him whats wrong? Is there something bothering u?
U should ask those questions and maybe u will find the answer.
2006-10-20 13:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by MFC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he playing a game. he likes it when you say "no, honey, you're not a nobody, I love you, you're great" etc etc. Its all for attention.
He sounds like a real loser. Wait, no, I'm sorry. He IS a nobody.
Dump that fool.
2006-10-20 13:08:37 · answer #9 · answered by Ann_Tykreist 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its a form of self pity.
it actually makes them feel better.
everytime u say no you are not nobody,
it makes them feel better.
guys are hard to read. but i think women are harder to understand.
gimme 10 points? please...please?
2006-10-20 13:08:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋