My sister has a rule that all toys must be kept in the bedrooms and no matter what we do we cannot get my 3 year old niece to play in her room. She keeps saying she is scared of the cow in there. Ok there is no cow and when you tell her that then she changes her story and comes up with something else that she is scared of. She will go in her room by herself to get things or change clothes and doesn't have any problems taking naps or going to bed in her room. Why would she be afraid to play in there if nothing else about it seems to bother her. We've tried going in and playing with her and even that will only last for a few minutes. She has lots of toys that she loves to play with--just not in her room. Occasionally when the weather in nice she can select a few toys to take outside and play with and she gets to take some of her favorites when she goes to grandma's house so it's not that she doesn't like her toys she just won't play in her room. Any suggestions why?
2006-10-20 12:23:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
no her toys are not kept in her closet. She has 2 toy boxes full of toys and toys all over her room. She is allowed to play anywhere she wants in the house it's just that the toys must be kept in the bedroom. And if ther is a "spirit" in her room, why would she be fine in there all other times. Like I said earlier, she will do anything in her room but play with her toys.
2006-10-20 12:55:25 · update #1
This is a control issue. She doesn't want to be excluded from grown up conversation, but it is important for children to learn self play. It's very good for their imaginations.
Your sister (is that right?) should put up a baby gate to keep her in her room. She needs her boundaries reinforced. This will not harm her in any way, it just lets her know that when Mommy says it's time to play in her room, then it's time for her to play in her room.
Mommy will come check on her in a few minutes, but she has to play alone right now.
Gradually increase the time she must play from 5 minutes up to 30 minutes. Once she understands that Mommy isn't gonna give, your sister should be able to remove the gate and your niece will obey.
Worked for me!
2006-10-20 12:31:37 · answer #1 · answered by Traditional Gal 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My question is, why would your sister have such a rule? Playing only in the bedroom? How sad...why did she even have kids?
But I digress...
I was afraid of my parent's bathroom for years because I had a bad dream about it...There was a monster there who wanted to eat me. We moved out of that house when I was 11, and I never got over being afraid of that room!
My suggestion would be to ask her to show you the cow that she's afraid of. Don't tell her it's not there...Follow along, and try to get her to show you what it is that's scaring her. It might even be a sound that's creeping her out. Next time she says she's afraid of the cow, say, "Well, I am going to make that cow go away. Show me where it is so that I can send it back to the barn!" Work to let her believe you have banished the cow (or whatever it turns out to be).
P.S.
I think TraditionGal is wrong...I think it could significantly harm your neice's psyche if she's forced to "play" where she's scared.
2006-10-20 19:35:19 · answer #2 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have pretty much the same problem with my boys. They will play in their room, but they end up with toys in the livingroom and even the kitchen. I finally gave up fighting with them to keep their toys in their room. Instead, we have a rule:: at the end of the day, just before they go to bed, they pick up all their toys and put them away. Whatever is left on the floor gets thrown away (well, put up on a shelf that they don't know about). So far so good. They clean up everynight before bathtime/bedtime.
2006-10-20 19:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be laughed at...but there is a spirit in her room..it's also a child..she's young enough that her SENSING this is why she's afraid...she has the abiliity to SEE..but when she wants to tell someone she's almost afraid to say anything...because the little girl has told her NOT to tell on her...she's NOT supposed to be playing! Are her toys kept in the closet?!
2006-10-20 19:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
build a little fort in her room and put a little light in there. If she has stuffed animals put them on the four corners or decorate 4 rocks and put them on each corner of the fort. Tell her they are magic and if she gets scared she can go into the fort. She can play in there and then feel protected. Plus that it wil be a special place for her. It would be good if her mom read her a book in there too that way she is welcome in the fort, there could be a set back that her daughter may only let herself in there.
2006-10-20 19:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what she is really scared of without making her feel ashamed of it. Keep talking to her about it. Watch her when she's in there alone.
2006-10-20 19:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Xander's Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋