I'm 36 yrs old, and have been married for 5 yrs. My hubby and I have a strong opinion about not having children. I don't even have a "biological clock". Anyway this has become an ongoing battle that my Father is not willing to accept. He wants grand kids period. How do I handle such an exhausting arrgument everytime he brings it up? I'm at my witts end, to the point I don't even want to visit my Dad. Somebody HELP...thanks.
2006-10-20 12:18:16 · 11 answers · asked by shears 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow all your answers are good, thanks a lot, it's going to be hard for me to decide later. Some details= Hubby and I just don't want kids, we like our freedom and our double inclome. Both our Mothers are on our side. My Dad is the one with the biggest issue. Again thank you for all your suggestions.
2006-10-21 06:34:12 · update #1
you will just need to let him(father)know it your life now & it is up to you & your spouse not him..tell him to let it go or because of the stress you'll not be able to see him as often...that it is not what you really want but there are boundries,& he needs to respect the ones you have!!!!!!!!
2006-10-20 12:45:44 · answer #1 · answered by maengun 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
obviously you don't have a healthy marriage. The question is, do you want to stay in it?! I can imagine that her attitude is totally out of control and she really needs help too! What I suggest is that you try asking her to go to therapyst together, because you guys have many issues to be working at. and focourse you must know this fact that you "can't" change her! Nor could her parents! So she really needs to see a therapyst or a consultant. But if you think that there is no way to work this out, then be a man! stand for your rights instead of staying in a hotel! you should remember that every marriages have 2 sides so you are the 50% of this. Good Luck with you and I hope things get better.
2016-05-22 06:07:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy him a puppy and tell him that you'll hope this will do until you get around to having kids. Wait a few months and lie to him.Tell him that you are both sterile and can't have kids.Listen, it's not like he's going to accept the truth anyway.People have a hard time arguing with incurable medical conditions.Don't waste energy trying to convince him of anything.
2006-10-20 13:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by Yahooanswerssux 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I presume you're an only child or that none of your siblings are capable of having children. If that's the case, you definitely have a difficult situation.
Dad's not going to change. He wants to see his legacy passed on to future generations as a way of demonstrating his contribution to society in general. This is in addition to having you. It's obviously very important to him.
About the only way you may be to deal with it is to tell him that you understand why he wants grandchildren but that you and your husband don't want children. Tell him that you respect his opinion but that the decision is up to you two. You're not going to change his mind. You'll just have to accept this one facet of his personality and continue to visit with him. You may have to say that you don't want to discuss it and then change the subject.
With respect to your current attitude towards children, please consider that you might change your minds down the road. I hope that if you do, it is because it's what you want to do and not through any parental pressure.
2006-10-20 12:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by eriurana 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To get him off your case tell him you are working on it. Your father is not going to give up so this way he will think he has won. I would nor normally advise deception, but this seems the only answer,If your father can not respect your wishes, then let him think his wish might come true, we all can't get what we want
2006-10-20 12:29:20 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's your dad, he isn't gong to quit wanting something this important just because you don't want it. You can't win the argument, he won't back down, the best you can do is address the issue each time it comes up, firmly but gently.
You may change your mind, and he knows this.
2006-10-20 12:32:37 · answer #6 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell them your hubby got fixed, end of story. I've been in a similar situation, I feel for you. Do what's right for you to what others want you to do.
2006-10-20 12:50:26 · answer #7 · answered by Kimma 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is there a reason or some facts that u cant have children? if yes, sit down with your dad and talk to him. if you mom understands you, she might be able to help as well.
2006-10-20 12:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by mi2z_myst3ry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAD A FRIEND WITH THE SAME DILEMMA, BUT BEFORE HIS MOTHER PASSED AWAY SHE TOLD HIM: "PLEASE DON'T DO TO YOUR FATHER WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND LEAVE ME WITHOUT KNOWING GRANDCHILDREN" I DON'T KNOW WHAT ARE YOUR REASONS BUT IT MIGHT BRING HAPPINESS TO BOTH SIDES. IS UP TO YOU OF COURSE! BUT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE FAMILY AROUND TO REMEMBER US.......
2006-10-20 12:27:34 · answer #9 · answered by woodtigerdp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck it's your life. if you don't want kids just tell him no and that's it. it's your life and you should live it how you want to.
2006-10-20 13:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by Grilled cheese lover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋