Has anyone else had to contend with "over generalization" with regards to a toddler's speech development?

Question

My daughter is 3 yrs old and is behind as far as her speech development goes. She's in therapy, we are doing everything we should be doing (parallels, reading out loud, repitition, vocabulary expansion, working in groups), but this is not my only concern. She refers to other women in her life as "mommy" and does the same for my husband regarding other men in her life. When she comes back from spending a few hours with my mom, she will address me using her name. It's like there is a confusion there that I cannot seem to get her to understand. Her speech therapist said she is simply over generalizing. Has anyone else had this problem...how did you handle this?

Answer 1

My older son will be 5 in a few weeks, and he's had speech problems his whole life (but he is getting better).

Try playing the "who's who" game with her (ask "Who am I?" "Who is that?" while pointing to Daddy.) Drill her in it often (in the car works great), but take your cue from her when she's had enough. Also, it's important to keep things light, so she doesn't feel flustered or upset about getting it wrong. Once she gets that, play around with her, saying "I know who that is (pointing to your husband)! That's Grandma!" This will be hilarious for her once she has it down, because 3-year-olds love being right when Mommy is wrong. Not to mention, once she can correct you by using the proper name, she's crossed from repeating what you say to comprehending what you've been trying to teach her.

With the same persistance, before and after a visit to Grandma's, really build up the visit, being very careful to use "Grandma" at any possible point (don't use pronouns). Make it clear that she's leaving Grandma's house (and Grandma) when you pick her up, and that she's with Mommy now. Encourage your mom to do the same thing, talking about "Mommy" a lot (good things to talk about are things like "What do you like to do at Grandma's?" or that kind of thing, and "Are you going to give Mommy a big hug when you see her again", etc.)

You could try having her own scrapbook (let her help by putting stickers on, etc.). Make several pages, each with one picture on it of one person. On the page for "Mommy", write "Mommy" under the picture. You can include herself, you and your husband (separately), Grandma, Grandpa, aunts or uncles, cousins, friends, Sunday School teachers, doctors, whatever. Anyone who is a regular in her life. Laminate each of the pages and bind them to make a book (a 6 (or 8) inch x 6 inch book works well) Sit with her, pointing out each person and going over their names with her. Encourage her to look through it often, always naming each photo subject. Show her pictures in your home, each time going over who is in it (and after a few times, don't tell her who it is, just point to the pictures and say "Who is that?" If she gets it wrong the first time, don't just tell her, just say "No, who is it?" and give her time) This will help with the possible confusion she has over who is who, but it will also help her to put a name with a face, and with enough practice doing that, she'll remember to do it in real life, too.

The over-generalization is fairly normal, and usually ends by the time the child is about 3, but with her speech delays, it would make it harder for her.

She could be actually confused over who is who (but it doesn't sound like it).

She could be just not taking her time to think before speaking. My 3-year-old referred to us as "Momma-uh-Daddy" or "Daddy-uh-Momma" (correcting himself), based on the fact that he started talking without thinking. That happens a lot, since 3-year-olds brains can move faster than their mouth or vocabulary.

In the situation of calling you Grandma after visiting Grandma, she could be just not moving quite fast enough to keep up with what's going on in her life. If she goes over to Grandma's and makes the mistake of calling her "Mommy", she may have just gotten used to the right name for Grandma right before leaving Grandma and being with Mommy again, having to start over again.

Considering the speech delay, the main word (naturally) that she knows having to do with a woman in her life is "Mommy." I'm sure she knows not everyone is "Mommy", but it takes work and concentrating to change the word for each individual person, so she could be just falling back on the usual word to avoid the work.

I'm re-reading this, and I know it's not making all that much sense, and I'm sorry.

Be patient. You're doing a great job by having her in speech therapy this early. Talk to her pediatrician about it, so that he/she can consider if there's anything actually "wrong". Keep talking to the speech therapist. If he/she doesn't seem really that concerned with it, I would try (I know, not easy to do) not to worry much. They see a LOT of kids, and they know what's within the realm of normal and what's not. Work with her, stress names in situations other than when you're correcting her, and I think she'll be alright in time.

Answer 2

The speech therapist is right... this is very common in toddlers, especially children with speech delays due to cognition problems. Something is not connecting the differences in the words used to differentiate between people. Don't worry, children outgrow this... it is very common. Just keep doing what you are doing (sounds like you're doing everything the ST is telling you to). Correct her when she says the wrong thing "Remember, I am Mommy. That is Grandma." If you do it in a loving, gentle way, she will get the idea and start catagorizing things the right way. Catagorization is a difficult skill to master, and overgeneralizations can happen easily. Give her time to put things in the right order.

Answer 3

My 3 y/o son does things similar to this. He is in speech therapy and is progressing. At times, he calls me daddy and vice-versa. I am assuming that her hearing has been tested. My son had to have tubes put in his ears at about a year and a half. He had started talking a little before that but not very well. After the tubes, it seemed like he just let loose & started jabbering away, but the early hearing problems caused poor speech development. His hearing is fine now and he's progressing very well. He's in preschool and I can tell a huge difference. As far as the overgeneralizing, our therapist said that he would outgrow it. To only gently remind him who was who. He would eventually catch on. Hope this helps......good luck!!!!

Answer 4

Get together with your daughter and her grandma. Get a conversation going and everybod use each others name a lot. When she calls grandma "Grandma" give her LOTS of praise! When she calls you "Mommy" give her lots of praise! Then if she calls you the wrong name ignore her a few times. Maybe it'll work. Perhaps she's gotten used to using any old word and it's been "okay" to do so. This way you're not punishing her, just illustrating that you like her to use the right words.

Answer 5

I'm sure your therapist told you that lots of kids generalize things like "doggie" for any four-legged animal at first. My son did this a little when he was first learning words. He did call his daycare provider "mommy" for a brief while. Now he calls me "mommy" but will also say "a mommy" when he sees another woman with children.

Very recently (he's two), however, he will call his father "mommy" and vice versa. He's trying out sentences ("Bring it here, mommy" "That's a red one, daddy") and I think he is concentrating so hard on the rest of the words that he slips up who he's talking to.

We try not to scold him: "No, I'm not mommy!". Instead we more subtly correct him. For example if he says to me: "More cereal daddy", I reply, "Oh, do you want mommy to get you more cereal?"

If your daughter is "behind" in speech development perhaps she is just hitting this stage?

We use the slide show feature of our digital picture library on the computer to show him photos of relatives, places we've been, holidays, etc. This works wonders in getting him to recognize people and objects and he loves to see pictures of himself!

Answer 6

It's really common and you don't have to do anything about it. Little kids are still trying to figure out the world and they put everything into categories. Then they put a name on the category and it might be the wrong one (like calling every animal a cat). They figure it out eventually.

Answer 7

Try not to overreact when she does this. My son is 2 and when I take him to the store he will see a man and say "Daddy". I just calmly tell him "Daddy is at work" and leave it at that. If you react badly to it she will learn that this bothers you and continue to do it.