Need Help with my mom, Don't know what to do.?

Question

I was adopted when I was 11 years old, a few days ago I got ahold of my biological mother who I have not seen for 12 years. I'm 23 now, married and have a 9 month old daughter. I found out that my mother is getting remarried, her and her fiance are coming over tomorrow. I'm real excited about this but I'm also very scared, I don't know what to do, what to say.... I just don't want to do anything to screw up my chance to get to know my mother.

Any advice?

Answer 1

Just breath....wooohsaaah! Now, instead of putting on a front being someone that your not, just be yourself. Get to know her. Make it seem like your sitting down having a chat with one of your best girlfriends. I know she's your mother, but it's a start. Tell her a little about yourself and your family. Let her get to know her granddaughter. Ask her about her and her fiance. Don't ask questions if you know you don't want to know the answers. You know what I'm talking about....you know the adoption thing! That should come later on.
Again just breath and don't seem nervous just be yourself.
Take Care.

Answer 2

it wont hurt to ask your mother why she gave you up, as a matter of fact she is more than likely expecting it. but don't stay on the subject long, you have alot of catching up to do. tell her about how you were in school, about your first date,your most embarrassing moment. about your life with your husband and how you met. those are the things that you need to talk about. and may i ask did you tell your adopted family that you were doing this? i sure hope that you did, it would be very unfair of you not to include them. maybe not the first time but at some point.

Answer 3

Just be yourself and try to relax, she is probably feeling just as nervous, if not more so, she has many more things to explain than you have. Don't worry about feeling like mother & daughter, get to be friends first the rest will follow if it's meant to be. Very best of luck to you both.

Answer 4

Wow that's great. Sure you're scared and excited it's normal, I bet she's feeling the same. Embrace the moment, you found your Mom, all the questions you have are going to be answered and the empty pit you had inside is going to be gone. Remember some people never find their real parent(s).

Answer 5

If she wants to be part of your life now then nothing you do or say can screw that up.You probably wont know what to say until you see her.It will definately be awkward at first but she's your blood and it will all come to you when you are face to face.I'm also 23 and been faced with similar issues..try not to stress about it too much

Answer 6

2 points

Answer 7

If she is your mother, yhou already spent a lot of extemely CLOSE time together as she was bringing you to life.
Don't worry about it. Just go with the flow. Everything will just work itself into play. It will come naturally, just like you being her child.
All the best!

Answer 8

Just be your self and don't ask any questions to make her an comfortable leave that for later when you much close to her or till she, her self tell you about her and life.If you really want a chance with your mother.

Answer 9

you wont mess it up . just take your time, start of by maybe asking her how did her and her soon to be husband meet. that will spark off a good conversation. try to stay relaxed and calm, cause tings may get a little emotional. tell her how you feel. and even ask her why, if that's a question you want to know. just take it slow and tell her that you forgive her.

Answer 10

Think of it as getting to see a long lost friend or meeting someone new, and be yourself. Don't worry about perfection. I think, the two of you will get along just fine.