My brother killed himself last night. He was 17. I did not see this coming at all. Just in a state of shock right now and wanted to find people who either have been through this before or have any good advice on getting through this, or helping my mom get through this. I know counseling is a good idea and I am going to try that. But just need people to talk to.
2006-10-20 11:51:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The hardest part right now is i'm in GA and my whole family is in Ca so today I've been running around trying to find a way to get home to them. I am 23 for the person who was wondering.
2006-10-20 12:22:23 · update #1
Honey...I am sooooooo sorry. Counseling is a very good idea. I wish there was something I could say that could take away your pain, but there isn't.
My husband and I had a friend once who killed himself. He was also 17. We had no idea, either. In fact, we went to Taco Bell, saw him there and talked to him. He was having dinner. When he left Taco Bell, he went home and killed himself. Not a clue. There are many times when I think about Derek, especially the last time we saw him. We were the last people he talked to. I've searched and searched for a clue...something I should have caught on to, but there's nothing. Even now, there's nothing.
People who are so depressed that they want to committ suicide don't leave "clues." They just do it. They hide everything that is going on inside from everyone, literally. They make up their minds that there's no other way and just do it. They never tell anyone about it or give any clues that they're thinking about it. Most of the time, their families don't even know they had been sad.
I will pray for you and your family. I will pray for healing and that one day you'll understand why your brother chose to end his life. I will pray that you and your family will lean upon each other for strength.
Consider yourself being held by everyone out here in "Answers." You just cry and let it out however long you need to. I'll be here for a while....
2006-10-20 12:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by Joy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-01 00:08:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. I would like you to think about this. There is nothing you or your family could have done to prevent this. My son tried to commit suicide, luckily I found him in time. Since then with a lot of psychiatric help for both of us, he told me that I couldn't have done or said anything to help his personal pain at that time. He didn't think about the pain for the family. He was just in so much mental pain nothing or no-one mattered. Like you I didn't know at the time. Your brother is now at peace. Just love him and make sure all family gets the help they need to deal with this. Look after yourself and get some counselling (it really helps) I understand.
2006-10-21 00:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by jojammum48 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, my condolences for your loss. This must be so hard, especially when it's unexpected.
Try to find a suicide support group in your area. Trust me, this will help you and your parents understand why this happens. Do not blame yourselves. Your brother had his own inner demons as to why he did this. Sometimes people that are depressed suddenly seem better and that's when they gather the motivation to commit suicide.
There's some books I'd like to recommend. One is "No One Saw My Pain" by Slaby Garfinkel, "No Time to say Goodbye" by Carla Fine, and "Survive Suicide: Help to Heal your Heart" by Heather Hays. These books will help you and your family.
I'm a therapist and if you need anything here's my e-mail: oliverbenji@yahoo.com.
2006-10-20 12:02:49 · answer #4 · answered by oliverbenji 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be their for Mom, and the family, you all need each other more now then ever. This is one of the hardest things a family has to deal with. Try and put things in perspective, you may never understand. but he is at peace now. Praise the Lord! It will help to talk about it, and him. Counseling will help you all to understand, or except his death. May God be with you and your family!
2006-10-20 12:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a terrible tragedy and my heart goes out to you and your family. The first thing that must stop is the "what ifs," or why did't" I see, all the self negative talk that will happen. This was not your or your family's fault. It was an answer to a young man who thought it was in his best interest. Try to remember him as the wonderful son and brother he was, and not the person who made one tragic error.
2006-10-20 12:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother hung himself last year. It never stops hurting but it does get easier. Try to remember life is for the living, I know right now that sounds harsh but it really is not. As for your mom just watch her. She's gonna go nuts for awhile, it's different for her than you. A parent never really gets over laying a child to rest. The first couple months it's gonna be all she can to not kill herself. But don't worry she will pull through. Email me any time. My name is Jamie.
2006-10-20 11:56:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling is the most important. you want a grief counselor. this is way bigger than you can handle on your own. you didn't say how old you are, but death of someone close like that is never easy. i am so sorry, and i will pray for you. now more than ever you need to lean on each other, you should all get the counseling immediately!!!!!
2006-10-20 11:55:39 · answer #8 · answered by NeverReady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry. Thats a terrible, awful thing to have to deal with. I don't know if you are... but if you feel guilty about it, or if your family does, its so important to remember that it wasn't your fault, or anyone elses.
I wish you all the strength and healing in the world.
2006-10-20 11:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by ChaChaChingThing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry about your loss. my uncle died when i was 14 he was 15 we were like brothers.. in my opinion nothing but time heals it and to this day I still think about him every day and wonder If i did something different could i have saved him. I am 20 now and I still miss him so much... Again, sorry about your loss keep him in your memories, keep pictures, and anything that related to him around, you will need them...
2006-10-20 11:54:18 · answer #10 · answered by swingorstrikeout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋